Could not resolve host: 86-edu.allmediacloud.com Win a Copy of Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by @JohnCMaxwell #ECFC | Live Intentionally

Win a Copy of Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by @JohnCMaxwell #ECFC

Today I’m reviewing, discussing and (thanks to the good folks at Thomas Nelson) giving away a free copy of John Maxwell’s latest book Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. Keep reading to learn how to win a copy for yourself.

John Maxwell’s new book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, provides insight into how to connect with people one-on-one, in a group setting, and with an audience.  We’ve all experience good communicators and bad communicators in all three settings.  We feel connected to good communicators.  We feel disconnected from poor communicators.  Maxwell believes that connecting with people is more skill than natural talent.  In this book, he helps the reader understand how to develop the skill to become a better connector and thus a better communicator.

My first impression of Everyone Communicates, Few Connect was that there’s really not much new in it.  Connecting with others comes from putting others first, finding common ground, confidence, energy, simplicity, authenticity, creating a memorable experience, and inspiring people.  It’s common sense.

But the more thought about it, the more I realized most people – including me – really don’t connect well with others.  For some people it’s because they lack the skills Maxwell describes.  For most us, though, I think it’s because we sell ourselves short.  Most of us don’t think we’re good communicators – we think we lack the natural talent or personality – so we don’t put in the effort, initiative, creativity, or thought to become better communicators.

If that sounds like you, if you don’t think you connect well with others or communicate well, I would encourage you to read this book.  I think it will inspire you and show you that you can become a better connector and communicator.

Favorite Quotes

  • Connecting Increases your influence in every situation.
  • “Nothing in life is more important than the ability to communicate effectively.” Gerald Ford
  • Connecting is all about others.
  • To add value to others, one must first value others.
  • You don’t need to be gorgeous, a genius, or a masterful orator to possess presence and to connect with others.  You just need to be positive, believe in yourself, and focus on others.
  • Words are the currency of ides and have the power to change the world.
  • Connecting always requires energy.
  • “Introverts can exhibit extroverted behavior – [however] it really drains us and we need to recharge sooner than an extrovert.” Laurinda Bellinger
  • Connecting is more skill than natural talent.
  • If I had to pick a first rule of communication… look for common ground.
  • The measure of a great teacher isn’t what he or she knows; it’s what the students know.
  • Connectors create an experience everyone enjoys.
  • People connect with stories not statistics.
  • Connecting isn’t primarily about learning to become a better presenter.  It’s about becoming the kind of person others want to connect with.
  • Connectors inspire people.
  • What they know + what they see + what they feel = inspiration
  • The true test of inspiration is action.
  • Connectors live what they communicate.
  • When you make a commitment, you create hope.  When you keep a commitment, you create trust.
  • You can learn to increase your influence in every situation because connecting is more skill than natural talent.

Personal Thoughts

I am somewhat introverted.  I’m also a pretty even-keeled person, not particularly emotional or dynamic.  That’s just the way I’m wired up.  Because of that, I’ve always thought I was not a particularly good connector or communicator (at least not in person) and I never would be.  I figured I just didn’t have the talent or the personality for it.

So, my biggest take-away from Everyone Communicates, Few Connect is… being a good communicator is ultimately a choice.

Maxwell writes, “Connecting is more skill than natural talent.”  If that’s true, then whether I connect well with others comes down to whether I choose to develop the skills to connect, and then whether I choose to use those skills.

Will I prepare for that person, group, or audience on my schedule (even when I’m not an official leader)?  Will I take the initiative to engage with people?  Will I focus on the other person (or people) and listen, ask questions, find common ground, and try to add value to them?

I must admit that in the past my answers to those questions was often, “No.”  I just didn’t feel like it.  Didn’t want to expend the energy.  I would wait for other to try to connect with me.  I could attribute that to being a low-energy, introverted person, and give myself a pass.

I can’t do that anymore.

After reading Everyone Communicates, Few Connect and reflecting on some of my interactions with individuals, groups, and audiences I realize in many cases I could have connected a lot better if I had chosen too.   Of course, I can’t change the past.  But I can – and will – choose to connect from this point forward.

Discussion

  • Do you consider yourself to be good a communicating and connecting with other people?
  • Do you believe that connecting with others is more skill than talent?
  • What is your biggest hindrance from connecting with others?
  • What could you do to overcome that hindrance and connect better with others?

Get a Free Book

If you’d like a free copy of Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, all you have to do is

  1. Retweet this post or share it on Facebook, and
  2. Post a meaningful comment to this post that contributes to the conversation (include your Facebook or Twitter usename in your comment so I can connect your comment to your share/tweet).

One person will be randomly selected the morning of Wednesday 4/7 to receive a free copy.

26 Responses to “Win a Copy of Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by @JohnCMaxwell #ECFC”

  1. John Maxwell is always offering great leadership lessons. I can’t wait to read his latest insights into leadership and connecting in this book.

  2. Although I consider myself a relatively good communicator – I don’t think that automatically translates to connecting well with people. It’s more than just delivering (one way) – its how you receive (two way) and how you’re perceived by those you communicate (trying to connect) with. I do believe some people have gifts that allow them to learn to connect easier than others – but, I agree it can be learned by anyone (if you commit and are willing to work at it). I think my biggest hindrance to connecting with others is lack of self confidence which impacts my transparency (authenticity). People connect with others better when they feel and see (transparent) that they are like them (have the same struggles, issues, thoughts, etc.) But it cannot stop there – the “connection” comes when you take those common issues to the next level and expose your struggles to overcome those issues. This is where you have an opportunity to inspire – that is where the connection happens! This allows others to feel they also can overcome – it’s not a dead end. One way I think I could overcome my lack of self confidence is to realize (and remember) that we are all the same. We all have the same fears, thoughts, problems, aspirations, etc. – we’re all human. Until we really believe this – we will always try to hide things we feel to be weaknesses which will build walls around us and prevent us from connecting.

    Thanks for the opportunity to think this through. I would love to win a copy of this book and get a better perspective on really connecting! @RayTadros

    • Great point, Ray. John Maxwell says similar things in this book about the importance of both authenticity and confidence when communicating with people. To connect with people, they need to see that you understand what they’re going through and that you can help them get where they want to go.

  3. I think that everyone wants to connect. Online mechanisms like twitter, facebook, linkedin etc facilitate that – especially for the people that find it hard to do so IRL.
    However there are just too many people trying to rack up some sort of score for themselves that they forget that they too need to be at the end of a connection. To be good at connecting you need to also allow yourself to be connected to others trying to connect. Yeah, those that follow 10 people and have 100000+ followers for example. I follow over 1000 people without trouble so can you. Be the Connector and the connectee.

    • Absolutely, Phill! When it comes to social media, just because a person has a lot of “friends” or followers doesn’t mean they’re really connecting with those people. Are they listening & responding?

  4. Karen (@awordsmith) Reply April 6, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    “So, my biggest take-away from Everyone Communicates, Few Connect is… being a good communicator is ultimately a choice.”

    I liked this though from you a lot. It is a choice and one that I struggle with as an introvert and a leader. I have to communicate and I tend to do a lot of that via technology–Twitter, Facebook, email, texting, etc. But, I’m learning that in my position as a church leader, it’s so much more important to connect “in real-life” whenever I can to leave a lasting impact and show others that I care. I’m learning how to be more present when it comes to talking with/to others and listening to them as well. Sometimes that comes at a personal cost, but the choice to do it is almost always worth it!

    • Thanks for your comment, Karen. I think we’re in very similar places right now. I’m definitely coming away from ECFC inspired to put more effort and intentionality into connecting with people in person wherever I am.

  5. WELL I CAN’T WAIT TO ENJOY THE BOOK, PLS SEND TO ME THROUH THIS ADRESS, TAYO JOHNSON, P.O.BOX 2502, AKURE, ONDO STATE. THANKS

  6. Hey Paul…so cool to offer everyone a chance at a copy of this book. I often tell people that for me it’s easy to stand in front of an audience and communicate but I often hit a wall on the one to one…part of that I think is a fear of not connecting and sometimes thinking that I don’t communicate one on one so I don’t push myself to connect.

    Thanks again for the opportunity and feel free to connect with me on twitter at @JasonCurlee

    • Hey Jason, most people are more comfortable one-on-one than in front of an audience. So, that’s interesting that it seems to be the opposite for you, especially since you’re a campus pastor.

      BTW, I took a look at your blog. Loved reading about what God is doing in your church.

  7. I will always remember a man several years ago who in my first conversation with him used my name. He connected.

    @secondchair

  8. I believe that while some may naturally be able to connect, the rest of us can learn to connect with others. Sounds like a great book!

    You can reach me on Twitter @secondchair

  9. Jason, Thanks for this opportunity to better my communication skills with people. It’s great to learn from John Maxwell who by far is a great teacher and author. Being involved in inter-city ministry, I want to know that I can communicate well and be able to know for sure I have connected with my audiance and one on one. One main thing is our communication has to come from the heart, but I would really like to a better communicator.

  10. Jason, Thanks for the opportunity to learn how to communicate from the great John Maxwell. Maybe today more things would not get misunderstood if people were better communicators and knew how to connect with their audiance and each other. Thank you and God Bless

  11. I would love to have the opportunity to read this book, as both a business and ministry leader, husband and father, anything I could do to improve my communication skills is greatly needed. It seems like communication is at the crux of every issue I am dealing with lately in business, ministry, and family. Thanks for the opportunity to request a copy.

  12. Connecting *does* take energy. The point Phillip Gibb made about social media, and your response, is well taken. It still takes energy to take the time to truly connect. I have to ask myself constantly, “am I spending so much time in Facebook games that I’m not connecting with my real friends, in either ‘virtual reality’ or real reality?” Of greatest significance there is remaining connected with my wife.

    Social media gives us the opportunity to connect with many others, to fulfill the Great Commission without leaving our comfortable environment. How many of us really do *connect,* though?

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ultrajoe
    Twitter: @joe_sewell
    (shared both ways)

    • >>How many of us really do *connect,* though?

      Joe, I think that reveals a truth about “connecting” – there are different levels of connection. There’s a difference between writing “Happy Birthday” on someone’s Facebook wall and taking them out to eat on their birthday. Not saying that connecting through social media is less valuable, but that the more time, energy, and creativity you put into a connection the deeper it will probably be.

  13. I think the point that stood out to me from your favorite quotes above is “To add value to others, one must first value others.”

    It seems to be human nature to approach every interaction with one of a few limited mindsets. “What’s in it for me?” “How does what the other person is saying relate to my life?” or “What does this other person want from me.” The result is, we rarely hear or fully appreciate the meaning of what the other person is saying TO THEM.

    When we communicate, we have a reason for talking (typically). 🙂 Taking the time to be “other-focused” enough to realize the significance or importance of what another human being is saying, both for themselves as well as ourselves, must be an intentional act. It doesn’t come naturally. The key to adopting this fully is to place more value on them and what they are saying than comes naturally to us to do.

    It is only when someone feels heard and understood that our connection with them can go deeper than surface-level. Until then, we’re all just communicating…

    • Tara, that’s a great point. I like the way you explained it.

      In the book, John Maxwell puts it like this… Connectors go first. They ask “Do I feel what you feel?” before asking “Do you feel what I feel” They ask “Do I see what you see?” before asking “Do you see what I see?” They ask “Do I know what you know?” before asking “Do you know what I know?” They ask “Do i know what you want?” before asking “Do you know what I want?”

  14. I always enjoy what John Maxwell has to share with us and would love the opportunity to read this book and share with my downline team of consultants. I think sometimes we get so involved with the busy-ness of running a business that we forget about the personal connections.

  15. And the winner of Everyone Communicates, Few Connect is… drum roll please…

    Jason Curlee aka @JasonCurlee

    Congrats Jason! I hope you’ll come back after you’ve read it and tell us how the book impacts you.

    Thanks to everyone who commented, shared, & retweeted. Keep the comments and discussion coming.

    If you’d like to buy the book online, here’s a (affiliate) link:
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0785214259?ie=UTF8&tag=liveintent-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0785214259

  16. very cool…thanks Paul…email me and I’ll get you my address

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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