Communicating from the heart, mind, and soul

John Contreras, posted a comment in yesterday’s review/discussion of John Maxwell’s new book Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.  He wrote:

One main thing is our communication has to come from the heart

My first thought was… yeah, communication should come from the heart.

Connecting with people requires passion, which comes from the heart. Ever hear a speaker talk about something he wasn’t passionate about? Boring.  Ever have a conversation with someone who you can tell would rather be doing something other than talking with you?  There’s no connection.

Connecting with people also requires authenticity.  You need to tell people what you really think and feel.  That comes from the heart.

It’s a great point!

But I think when we communicate ONLY from the heart, we often fall short and fail to connect.

Egg Hunts and Small Groups

Last week I went with my family to an Easter egg hunt in our neighborhood park.  I had just injured my knee a couple days earlier and was walking around on crutches.  It was evening after a long day of work, and I just felt like sitting down.  I saw the father of one of my son’s little league teammates on the other side of the park.  I don’t know him well, we’ve only had a couple of brief conversations.  My heart said, “Go sit down, and you can talk to him if he sees you and comes over to you.”

In my soul, though, I want to be someone who takes the initiative to connect with others.  So, my mind overruled my heart, and I chose to hobble over and strike up a conversation.

I lead a small group at my church.  There are 5 families in it right now and we get together about once a week for dinner, prayer, and usually some sort of Bible or book discussion.  I’ve been leading small groups for almost 2 decades now.  I could get away with skimming the chapter or study materials 10 minutes before our group meets and wing my way through facilitating the discussion.

There are weeks where I’m tired and busy, and my heart says, “I don’t feel like preparing.”  There are weeks when I don’t feel like expending the mental and emotional energy to look for ways to connect with these friends and serve them during the week.  Honestly, I don’t always get this right. Sometimes I drop the ball.  Other times, I manage to pause, reach down into my soul, remind myself of why I’m leading the group, and mentally get my mind and my heart on the same page.

Heart is huge.  But the heart is fickle.

People who communicate only from the heart tend to connect inconsistently.

People who are able to align their hearts and minds with their souls and invest time, effort, and selflessness to connect with others and the ones who truly communicate well.

[image by oedipusphinx]

4 Responses to “Communicating from the heart, mind, and soul”

  1. Your story about just walking over to the other dad vs. walking over and initiating a conversation really clicked for me. Especially when I’m tired or not feeling well, it seems far easier to do what I feel like doing than what my mind knows I should do. It made me think of Jeremiah 17:9 – “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Of course, the caveat to that is Ezekiel 26:36 – “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”)

    I see this in marriage too. I don’t always feel like connecting with my wife, but I always know I should.

    It’s always surprising to see how many times God’s word talks about the mind: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Set your mind on things above. We have the mind of Christ…

  2. Chris, thanks for your comment. I’m glad the post connected with you. I appreciate your insight about marriage and about the importance of allowing God to transform our hearts and minds so our thoughts and passions become more and more in line with who we really want to be.


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