2014 Global Leadership Summit Session 5: Joseph Grenny #gls14


Co-Founder, VitalSmarts; Social Scientist for Business Performance

SESSION 5: Mastering the Art of Crucial Conversations

  • Utilizing a research-based approach to organizational effectiveness, Grenny is the author of four best-selling books including Crucial ConversationsCrucial Accountability, and Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change
  • A frequent contributor to publications like BusinessWeek and Forbes, he has appeared on The Today Show,CNNBloomberg and Fox Business News
  • VitalSmarts, the training organization he co-founded, has developed four award-winning training solutions with programs in 300 of the Fortune 500 companies and in 36 countries

Session Notes

  • The power of a group is a function of the purity of its motives.
  • Are there a few moments of disproportional influence that matter more than others? If so, what are they?
  • Nurse Bonnie & Dr. Scott interactive exercise.
  • Crucial Conversations Diagram [triangle]
    • High stakes
    • Opposing opinions
    • Strong emotions
  • Big Idea #1: Any time you find yourself stuck, stop and ask: What crucial conversation are we not holding or not holding well?
    • How many of you would like to have fewer crucial conversations? The only way to do that is to have a meaningless life, give up your super-awesome goals.
    • When conversations turn from casual to crucial – when it matters most – we tend to be at our worst.
    • How do you behave differently towards someone you’re having difficulties with? Probably not helpful.
    • If you don’t talk it out, you will act it out. These are the only 2 options available.
    • Sam’s experiment… made bad brownies (salt instead of sugar)… gave those brownies and a good brownie to kids and ask them which was better… they all pointed to the salt brownies to avoid hurting his feelings. (watch video of the experiment)
    • Myth: you have to choose between telling the truth and keeping a friend.
    • It’s this believe that causes mischief in all our relationships.
    • You can measure the level of ??? by the number of untouchable topics.
    • 3 most crucial moments in churches
      • Performance problems with volunteers or staff.
      • Members who are struggling in sin or disconnecting from the church.
      • Concerns with pastors.
      • 65
    • Crucial conversations are either a pit or a path.
    • Those churches best able to have these conversations aren’t just doing slightly better but exponentially better.
    • The vital behavior that enables most any positive organizational outcome is CANDOR at moments of acute emotional and political risk.
  • 7 Critical Skills
    • 1) Start with heart
    • 2) Learn to look
    • 3) Make it safe
    • 4) Master my stories
    • 5) State my path
    • 6) Explore Others’ Path
    • 7) Move to Action
  • 2 tasks in the hazardous half minute
    • 1) Mutual purpose. You know that I care about your goals.
      • Must be genuine.
    • 2) Mutual respect. You know I care about you.
  • People never get defensive about what you’re saying. People become defensive because of why they think you’re saying it.
  • Convo w Patrick…
    • Do you know I love you?
    • Do you know I would never do anything that wasn’t in your best interest?
    • He replied… I know I need to go to jail. But will you be there for me when I get out?
    • If we can have conversations about sending a person to jail and keep that person as a friend, we can talk about anything.

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