Today is kind of a big milestone for me – the big four-oh.
In recent years I have not given my birthdays a second thought. There’s not much difference between being 37 or 38, 38 or 39. But the difference between 39 and 40… seems like a chasm to me.
I think of people in their 30s as young, energetic, up-and-comers. I think of people in their 40s as established, proven veterans.
To be honest, I don’t much feel like an established, proven, veteran. And now I’m no longer a young up-and-comer either. So where does that leave me?
It leaves me asking questions like, “What have I really accomplished in my 40 years?” and “Do I really matter?” If I were to leave Cypress Meadows Community Church or Safety Harbor, FL would anyone notice? If I quit OurChurch.Com would it really matter to anyone except those who get a paycheck? If I shut down LiveIntentionally.org or stopped tweeting would anyone care?
If that sounds depressing or makes you feel a little uncomfortable, well, I don’t apologize for that. I’m just keeping it real, OK? These are legit questions and I’m guessing I’m not the only one who has hit a milestone like this and asked questions like these.
I’ve been thinking and praying through these things this morning and here are 7 things that have come of that.
1) Focus on the truth. Our feelings and emotions often lie to us. Don’t live there. Live in the truth. The truth is…
2) My value comes from God. My value as a person doesn’t come from how much I’ve accomplished or how important others think I am or I perceive myself to be. I am a person created in the image of God. For that reason alone I matter.
3) God, my wife, and my children are my top priorities. If I’ve been faithful and loving to them, that’s something pretty important. Whatever else God enables me to do with friends, work, church, blogging, social media, etc is icing on the cake.
4) Comparing myself to others is self-destructive. When I ask myself, “What have I accomplished in my 40 years?” what I’m really thinking is, “What have I done compared to other people my age?” The business, blogging, and social media worlds are filled with metrics just begging for comparisons.
But when I compare myself to others, there are only two possible outcomes, and both of them are bad. Either I think I’m better than other people, which is arrogant, prideful and self-righteous. Or I think I’m worse than other people, which is an offense to God who created me as I am and undermines my ability to live up to my potential. My life is going to be unlike anyone else’s. And my goal in life isn’t to do what seems important to myself or others but simply to do what God has called me (and not anyone else) to do.
5) I can’t change the past, but I can impact the future. I can’t help but feel if I had been bolder in my leadership, in my conversations with friends, in my love towards others that I could have accomplished more in my first 40 years. That is undoubtably true. None of us makes the right call every time. No one makes the most of every situation. But regrets get you nowhere. All I can do is decide how I’m going to live from this point forward.
6) I’ve been amazingly blessed over the last 40 years. I have a wonderful wife, and 3 beautiful children. I have wonderful relationships with my parents, brothers, and extended family. God has protected me and kept me healthy. I’ve never been for want of food, shelter or clothing. God’s given me the opportunity to have a small part in the life (and spiritual) transformation of a number of people. I’ve enjoyed using my gifts and talents to serve others through OurChurch.Com for more than 14 years.
7) Best of all… I get to do each day of life with my Father, the creator of the universe. Through Jesus, I’ve been forgiven of all my dumb mistakes and selfish choices. My eternity is secure. I have peace that comes from knowing God works all things for the good of those who love and obey him. I have confidence in his guidance and provision each day. For that reason alone, I look forward to each day I’m blessed with in the future, and you can too.
Have you hit any milestones recently? What thoughts have come out of your reflections on them?
happy 40th birthday! and….2ndly…you haven’t begun to live until you have stepped into your 40’s…i’m 47…and it’s hot…these are the best years of my life so far. talk about respect. I’ve written 10 books, started a global non-profit organization with 500+ prayer warrior from 80 nations submitting requests, I’m mentoring youth, x5 others wrote phenomenal Christian books via my mentoring-bigger than me! MY son graduated from a christian university! i walked my son from an alcohol overdose…and he lived to say “mom, I love you and I’ll never do this again” at his young age of 17!….I’m celebrate an awesome marriage of 25 years, we go 1 month of every year on a mission globally to share the gospel, and 11 months in an inner city. Some nights my husband and I cry ourselves to sleep in each others arms crying out to God reciting scriptures and songs…40’s are super cool…my husband just turned 50. Breathe…I’m telling you it’s just perspective never go back…the wisdom and hanging with God is just way tooooooooo cool… jen
Jennifer, thanks for the birthday wishes, and way to go on all the wonderful stuff you’ve done and are continuing to do. It sounds like you are living a full life in your 40s!
Wise observations, Paul. As someone who is on the other side of that decade (closer to 40 than 50), I can say I have enjoyed many things about this decade that were not present in the others. Happy (2 days late) birthday.
Thanks Paula!
Good stuff…happy belated birthday!
Thanks Mark!
Paul,
Congratulations on turning 40! As someone who is 46, let me tell you that this will be the best decade of your life. You know your spiritual giftedness, your direction in life has been established, your family loves you, and you know what not to do.
Enjoy this decade. You will accomplish more for God and be more productive than any decade so far!!!
Have fun,
Brian
Hi Brian, thanks for your encouraging comment! I hope my 40s are as meaningful as it sounds like yours have been so far. Blessings to you!