In the last few weeks my daughter, Ainsley, turned 8 and my son, Aidyn, turned 6. They both received birthday money that was burning a hole in their pockets. So, Monday my wife Jennifer took them and their 2 year old sister, Aryn, to Toys R Us.
If you’ve ever tried to take 3 kids under the age of 10 to the store by yourself, you know that’s probably where they came up with that notion of herding cats. It’s a recipe for insanity. God bless my wife as she usually does it several times a week.
So, they all got to the check out counter. Jennifer was talking with the cashier, watching the prices being rung up, and trying to keep an eye on the kids, who can’t stand in one place or keep their hands to themselves for even 2 seconds. The kids walked ahead to the front of the store while Jen was paying.
At that time another customer left the store and set off the security alarm. Jennifer looked up and out the door, past the customer, was Aryn. She had walked out of the store, crossed the first drive in the parking lot, and was standing in the median crying.
Jennifer was stunned and rushed out the door to get Aryn out of danger.
Fortunately, Aryn was fine.
But Jennifer was scared and mortified.
She kept thinking…
“My daughter could have died.”
“How could I have been so careless?”
“I am such a terrible mom.”
“If anything had happened, I don’t know how I could live with myself.”
In fact, when I wrote this I wasn’t sure she would let me post it.
If you don’t know my wife, she is a fantastic mom. She is very meticulous. She’s not one to take a lot of risks. She’s always looking out for the best interest of our kids, and would do anything for them.
But, the truth is… no matter how careful we are, no matter how much we plan, we simply cannot keep ourselves or our loved ones 100% safe.
I was reminded of this several other times just this week. Not far from us a 2 year old was killed when a pet python escaped from its cage and strangled her. A few days later a 16 month old choked on sunflower seeds and died. This past weekend I visited a friend in her 30s who has 2 kids and is in the fight of her life with an aggressive form of cancer.
I’m sure their families thought they were taking all reasonable precautions to ensure they lived long, healthy lives.
On the other hand, this Saturday Jennifer and I will be flying to Kenya to serve along side our friends Molly and Joe Bail for a week. Every day Molly and Joe come in contact with malaria, typhoid, and AIDS. About a year ago there were riots in the area over a contested presidential election and gangs were roaming the countryside hacking people to death with machetes. They have battled their share of challenges and illness, but they are still alive and doing what they’ve been called to do.
It makes me wonder…
How much control do we really have?
How much is up to chance?
How much is up to God?
One person can play it completely safe and still die in a freak accident, while another person can live in constant danger and remain unscathed.
I think we have a lot less control than imagine. I can think of several times in my life when I could have easily died. You probably can too. Mostly likely there have been many other occasions we’re not even aware of that could have been the end of us.
I don’t know God’s plan for my life, but I know that God is all-powerful and all-knowing. I know I’m not going to get hit by a bus today and then wake up in heaven to God saying, “Holy $%&! I didn’t see that coming!”
Getting back to Aryn…
Our first reaction to this incident was fear of what could have happened. That fear could have led to worry. It could also have led us to seek comfort by taking steps that would have given us the illusion of more safety and more control.
We could handcuff them to the shopping cart. We could keep them locked up at the house. (By the way that second one is still an option is still on the table for when our girls reach dating age).
But the more Jennifer and I talked about it, the more we could see God’s hand in protecting Aryn. If it hadn’t been for the customer who set off the security alarm, Jen wouldn’t have looked up. If Aryn hadn’t been in the exact sight line out the door, Jen wouldn’t have seen her. And if Jen hadn’t seen her at that moment, she would have assumed Aryn had gone back into the store and would have started looking for her in the other direction.
In 2 days Jennifer and I will drop our kids off with family and board a flight for Kenya. It’s been hard for Jennifer not to worry…
What if there’s a plane crash?
What if something happens to us in Kenya?
What if something happens to one of our kids?
I think God was using the events at Toys R Us to tell us that we do not have as much control as we think. Aryn could have died Monday. In reality she could die any day. Any of us could. Every day is a near-death experience. But God is infinitely more powerful to protect us than we are and he is infinitely more powerful to carry us through when the brokenness of this world brings harm to us.
Jennifer said this morning, “That’s exactly what I needed to be able to get on the plane Saturday.”
Boy, Paul. I know exactly how Jennifer felt. We lost Josh at the convention a couple of weeks ago. Granted, he’s 4 and is pretty smart, but the 3 or 4 minutes that Ami and I could not find him felt like eternity and all I could think was, “I should have let him go that far away from me! I’m an aweful parent!” Eventually, we found him right back where I was sitting when I lost him (I told you he was smart).
We’ll be praying for you guys on your trip! God bless!!
I know exactly how Jen feels. I have turned around for a minute and one of the girls where gone. A couple of times in our house! We lost Sarah for a few minutes when she was younger than Aryn. We were at the lake up in Michiagan at a family reunion. Jeff was down at the lake when one of the twins wandered up the beach. He went to get her and didn’t realize that Sarah had followed him up the beach but not back down. We here it over the intercom that they had a little girl about 1 1/2 years old that was found up the beach from us. We were mortified that we had lost our little girl. But it happens, and you are correct, you can not keep your family safe 100% of the time.
My heart was in my throat reading this. I think most of us parents know the feeling all too well. I am reminded of a time when our daughter “escaped” from a church nursery. She wasn’t quite 2 years old and we were just getting acquainted with this new church. She wandered in to the area where we were (much to our surprise). The point is, she could have just as easily headed out to the busy street and been in harms way. God’s hand was all over that! We could have chose to never return to that church but instead we trusted that God was in control and the evil one was not going to use this incident to keep us away! Thanks for sharing Jen’s story…praying for you guys in Kenya!
Thank you Paul and Jen, who God has chosen to “find” for eternity, for going out to a lost world and sharing God’s love and compassion. Your words and photos are edifying to the body of Christ.