Adam Hamilton is senior pastor of the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas. One of the fastest growing, most influential mainline churches in America, the adult membership has increased from four to 13,000 since 1990. Leaning on personal leadership experience, Hamilton provides perceptive insights into how and why leaders fall—and how to help preempt such failures within a team before they occur. The author of several books, including Leading Beyond the Walls, 24 Hours That Changed the World, and Making Love Last a Lifetime, he was identified as one of the top “Ten People to Watch in America’s Spiritual Landscape” by PBS’s Religion and Ethics Newsweekly.
Notes
- When leaders fall…
- Two leaders at his church had an affair together.
- In a study in 2005, 35% of pastors admitted to a sexual impropriety.
- We have to be concerned both about the person who has fallen and the church that is impacted.
- In the UMC, bishops handle the discipline.
- 4 options for how to handle it
- Say nothing
- Be evasive, say it was for personal reasons.
- Scarlet letter approach. Distance the church from them.
- Transparency. Acknowledge the sin, and care for them because they are a part of our church family.
- Spoke with the staff first.
- Word got out, so they emailed the congregation acknowledging the situation & asking them to feed the rumor mill. Will be discussed Sunday.
- Sunday preached a simple sermons about sin, repentance, and grace. Came back to the story of the woman caught in adultery.
- This was a defining moment for our church. The community was watching. Asked “Who are we as a church?” Are we a church that gathers with stones in our hands? Or a church that offers grace.
- Some people came to the church for the first time that day and decided to become a part of the church because of how we handled it.
How they try to prevent sexual sin at their church.
- They have a staff covenant, reviewed every year.
- They have policies about where 2 people of the opposite sex can go together. A third person has to go along to a conference.
- He gives the “sex talk” twice a year.
- We’re wired for intimacy, companionship, and sin.
- Borrowing from a Buddhist technique, take a sin and try to think about it in the worst, most disgusting way possible.
- Walt Wangin, “the moment of the maybe,” we start to entertain sin in our minds. We don’t think about, how it could possibly end well.
- If you have feelings for someone other than your spouse, don’t share them with the other person.
- “Don’t let the devil ride, because he’s going to want to drive.”
5 things that have helped me resist temptation
- Remember who you are. A child of God, a husband/wife, a parent, a leader…
- Recognize the consequences of your actions. Use your imagination to fantasize about the worst possible outcome.
- Rededicate yourself to God. Stop, drop, and pray.
- Reveal your struggle to a trusted friend. (James 5:16)
- Remove yourself from the situation.
Wrap-up
- 1 Thes 4:3-5 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;
- All of us are tempted as human beings.
- The final word of the church must be not a word of judgment but a word of grace.
- Shooting your wounded can’t be the answer of the church.