To be successful in life you’ve got to take risks, big risks.  You’ve got to try things that might not work.  You’ve got to chase dreams that might not be fulfilled.

The people who live the greatest lives are not the ones who never fail.  They’re the people who learn from their failures, get back up, and try again.

Take a look at this video featuring the some of the greatest “failures” of all time.

My first attempt at starting OurChurch.Com failed. After a year, I was broke and had to get another job. While working that full time job, we changed business models, and essentially restarted the company.  It took 2 1/2 long years of hard work before the business grew to the point where I could leave that job and do OurChurch.Com full-time again.  We’re not Google or anything, but now we have 8 people on staff and serve more than 14,000 users and clients.

Not that I’ve got this one down or anything. I still struggle with the fear of failure and the temptation to play it safe on a regular basis.

But I want to encourage you…

Don’t let past failures keep you down!

Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from pursuing your dreams!

Do you have a story to tell from your own life of bouncing back from failure?  What dream are you holding back on because you’ve been afraid it might fail?

Sometimes we can be our own worst critic. We say things to ourselves we would never dare say to another human being….

• I’m so stupid.
• There’s no way I can do that.
• How can I be such an idiot?
• I’m gonna blow it again.

Self-talk is a huge deal.  That voice inside our head largely determines how we’re going to respond to the challenges of the day.

Do you want to face them with confidence and enthusiasm?

If so, try talking to yourself like this 3 year old girl.

What are you telling yourself today?

If you missed the previous posts in this series about time/task management, let me quickly bring you up to speed.

Level 1: To-do list

A to-do list is helpful because it keeps you on track, prevents tasks from slipping through the cracks and frees your mind from having to remember tasks.  But it’s less than ideal and can lead to frustration, anxiety, and misplaced priorities. See 4 Reasons to Dump Your To-Do List & Replace It with Something Better

Level 2: Daily priorities list

The next level of task/time management is to create a list of priorities each day.  By having a list that only includes that day’s tasks, it reduces stress and frustration.  Prioritizing tasks helps to prevent us from getting distracted by busy work and stay focused on what’s most important.  See Simple Step Beats To-Do List for Managing Time and Tasks

Creating a daily priorities list is a big step forward from just using a to-do list, but it still falls short.  For example:

• Some tasks, like meetings, have to be done at a specific time regardless of how important they are.
• Some tasks, like running errands, can’t be done during certain times (like while at work) regardless of how important they are.
• Some tasks, like checking & responding to email and phone calls, should be done at least a few times a day regardless of how important you consider that to be.
• You may perform better at certain tasks at certain times of the day.  For example, you may find that your best blog writing is done first thing in the morning even though writing blog posts isn’t your top priority for the day.  Or you may have some tasks you can do while kids are around and others you have to do when things are quiet.

So, the next step in task/time management…

Level 3: Schedule each day

After you’ve created your daily priorities list, get out your calendar.  Start at the top of your priorities list and put each task on your calendar for the day.

Pretty simple, right?

What will this do for you?

• It puts everything in one place.
• It keeps you focused on your highest priorities while still enabling you to do them at the time of day that works best for you.
• It gives you a more realistic idea of what you can accomplish in a day.  If your priorities list has 20 things on it, but only 10 fit on your calendar, you now know that 10 tasks is more realistic. That’s a good reality check.  It will also prevent you from getting frustrated when you only get 10 tasks done.

I find there’s a huge difference in my productivity between the days that I schedule vs those that I just wing it with a to-do list or daily priorities list.  But I’ll admit that even though I know that I’m still not always disciplined enough to do it.

Do you schedule your priorities each day?  Why or why not?

Lots of people use to-do lists to manage their time.  There are at least 3 benefits I can think of to using one:

1. It keeps you on track.
2. It prevents tasks from slipping through the cracks.
3. It frees your mind from having to try to remember things.

A to-do list is what I call a Level 1 time management system.  It’s better than nothing, but it has a number of deficiencies.

1) It doesn’t differentiate higher priority tasks from lower priority tasks. As a result it’s easy to get caught up it the trap of doing less important tasks just to get the warm fuzzy feeling of crossing things off the list.  It’s also easy to slip into the habit of doing the tasks we enjoy and never getting to the ones we don’t.

2) It doesn’t tell you what needs to be done today.

3) It’s hard to see & evaluate progress. If your list includes dozens of tasks you’d like to accomplish this week, this month, or this year, your list could be as long as your arm.  If that’s the case, even on a good day you barely make a dent in your list (especially if tasks are constantly being added to it), which can be very frustrating, particularly if you’re an achiever.

4) It’s not holistic. If your to-do list includes everything you want to do as a spouse, a parent, a homeowner, a volunteer, an employee/business owner, and so on, chances are you’ll naturally gravitate towards tasks for some roles and neglect tasks for other roles.  A to-do list doesn’t help you live a balanced life.

There are a number of systems that overcome these deficiencies and can help us better manage our time and tasks.  I’ll talk more about them in future posts in this series.

Do you use a to-do list?  If so, how does it help you?  Where does it fall short?

I’m going through 31 Days to Build a Better Blog with 60+ other bloggers.  Today is Day 6.  The e-book lesson includes 27 articles of blogging tips and tutorials, which we’re supposed to read, digest, and discuss.

It’s a bit much, in my opinion.  As I wrote in a comment, it’s a bit like drinking from a fire hose.

Generally speaking, I’m not big on memorizing a lot of little things.  I much prefer to learn some general principles and then apply those principles to specific situations.  So, as I was reading through all these tips, certain underlying principles started to emerge.

What’s more, I noticed that a lot of the general principles for blogging well are actually derived from even broader principles for living well.  Here are 7 general principles that apply to blogging as well as life in general.

1) Be yourself. People are sick of spin, sick of sales pitches, sick of phonies, sick of people who act one way with one group of people and another way with another group of people.  It’s great to learn from other bloggers, but don’t try to act like someone else.  Be honest and authentic.

2) Serve others first. The best bloggers write to help their readers.  If you’re primary reason for blogging is to make money, promote your own agenda, become popular, or express yourself it’s probably not going to work.  That means blogging posts that help your readers, responding to comments & emails, and answering questions.  This principle is true in most areas of life.  If your motives for starting a business, getting into a relationship, or even volunteering are selfish, you are much more likely to fail and be disappointed.

3) Think from perspective of the people you’re serving. As a blogger, it’s important to imagine things from the perspective of your readers.  Understand your readers’ backgrounds, education, spiritual beliefs, and politics may be different from yours.  Don’t use insider language.  Don’t talk down to your audience.  Understand that they’re busy and reading & discussing your blog posts are a very, very low priority.  Make it as easy as possible for them to engage.  Same is true with your business, church, non-profit, neighborhood organization.  In any situation where you are serving others, it’s important to understand the perspective of the people you’re serving.

4) Build relationships. Blogging really is all about building relationships – with your readers, with other bloggers in your niche, with people you can collaborate with.  Everything else is life is primarily about relationships too.  Great businesses build great relationships with their customers, their vendors, and their partners.  Great churches facilitate great relationships among their members.  And obviously great marriages, families, and friendships are all about building relationships.

5) Read a lot. As a blogger, it’s important to read other blogs.  This helps you learn from others, get to know others in your niche, provides new ideas for blog articles, and enables you to stay informed on the latest developments and issues.  Same is true in life in general.  Reading helps you learn, challenges you to grow, and often provides opportunities to develop relationships with others who are reading the same things.

6) Commit & do the work. You can’t develop a great blog if you write when you feel like or when you find the time.  You’ve got to be intentional about keeping a scheduled and writing a certain number of posts each week.  You’ll have to sacrifice some other things to meet your commitment.  Same is true in business, marriage, raising kids, volunteering, even playing golf.  If you want to do well, you have to commit to it.

7) Take risks. Bloggers that never take risk are boring, fail to connect with others, and fail to take steps to get to the next level.  Some risks you may be challenged to take:

• Reveal some personal, painful, or embarrassing things about yourself in order to help people who are facing similar circumstances.
• Write an opinion on something you know a lot of your readers will disagree with.
• Criticize someone or something you disagree with.
• Write about a topic that is taboo.
• Ask someone to guest post on your blog. They could turn you down.
• Try to raise money for a charity.  Your readers may not respond, you could fail miserably, and look like an idiot in the process.

Same is true in life in general.  You have to take risks to be successful, some of the same risks – authenticity, sharing an opinion, speaking up about something taboo, asking for help, going public with big goals.

Do you see a lot of similarities between what makes for a great life and what makes for a great blog?

Which of these principles resonates with you most?

Yesterday, we kicked off a 5 part series based on the book Worldliness by C.J. Mahaney.  With each post, we’re giving away a copy of Worldliness.  Congrats to Lee Buford who is the winner of the first copy.  We’re giving away another copy today, with details at the end of the post.

To recap… Worldliness challenges Christians with the words of Jesus found in John 2:15, “Do not love the world or anything in the world.” The world is full of things that attempt to seduce and distract us from our primary calling to love and serve God. Surveys show the lives of American Christians are not noticeably different from those who are not Christians. Whether that’s true for you or not, it’s clear that all of us battle the temptations of this world on a daily basis.

Two areas the book examines are media and music, which we’re going to take on together today.

Media is Everywhere

In today’s modern world, media constantly surrounds us from the clock radio that wakes us up, to the radio in the car, the billboards along the street, magazines, newspapers, and MP3 players.  For the last 50 years TV has been the most influential medium.  In the last few years, the Internet has surpassed TV for many people.  Now we are on the cusp of a media revolution.  Broadband mobile devices will ensure that the entire Internet is always at the tip of our fingers.

Media is Powerful

Our culture has conflicting views on the power of media.  Most people say TV, music, and commercials have little impact on them.

But our actions say otherwise.  Advertisers spend $215 billion a year just on TV commercials – because they work.  When we make presentations at work, we usually include video or Powerpoint.  Most medium and larger churches have media teams.  When we want to have a romantic evening with that special someone we carefully select the right music to set the mood.

Television has greater power over the lives of most Americans than any educational system, government or church. – Kent Hughes

The Old Battle with Media

Christians have been battling media for decades.  However, the focus has been rather one-dimensional.  It’s been primarily about trying to stay away from offensive material.  How many times have we been warned of the evils of sex and violence on TV, in the movies, and in music lyrics?

I’ve heard the warnings so many times, that as soon as I even think someone’s headed down that road my instinct is to think, “Here we go again” and tune them out.  (That’s probably a warning sign in and of itself.)

The New Battle

But the temptation of worldliness is not primarily the temptation to choose evil over good, but rather to choose that which is temporary and meaningless over God.  This is true for our media consumption as well.

6 Ways Media Moves Us

I invite you to join me in examining how the media we consume moves us in these 6 ways.

1) Values. Does the media you consume support or insult your values?  Do the shows you watch make gossip, lying, and insulting people look cool?  Does it make fun of people of faith, chastity, fathers, or stay-at-home moms.  Does it glorify self-centeredness or independence?

2) Time. Is your media consumption keeping your from doing more important things?  Do you spend lots of time watching TV or online but struggle to consistently spend time alone with God?  Are you serving others?  Helping the poor?  Spending consistent time with your spouse and kids?  Or is your media consumption getting in the way of that?

3) Heart. Does the media you consume help you focus your thoughts on God?  Or do the ads and commercials cause you to daydream about what you’d like buy?  Does that TV show or website ignite lustful thoughts?  Do those love songs or romance novels stir fantasies?

4) Focus. Does having radio, TV, or computer on keep you from being able to fully focus on your work, listening to the people in the same room with you, or hearing from God?  Are there times, when you just need to turn everything off?

5) State of mind. Does your desire to keep up with your TV shows, Facebook, or Twitter stress you out?  Do you feel anxious if you don’t have your mobile phone on you?  Do you feel like you have to play Farmville, or Webkinz, or Twitter or blog every day?  Do you agonize over how others might perceive a Facebook update or tweet?

6) Pride/Humility. When you’re posting to Facebook or Twitter are you doing so just to get attention?  Are you being disingenuous in order to make yourself look good.

Discussion

Revising the poorly drawn diagram from yesterday what direction is your media consumption taking you?

Of the 6 ways media moves us mentioned above, which is the greatest struggle?  Where are you seeing the most success?

Action

Reflection and discussion are important, but they won’t change your life or redirect you more towards God . What if any changes are you going to make to your media consumption?

Get a Free Book

If you’d like a free copy of Worldliness, all you have to do is

1. Retweet this post or share it on Facebook, and
2. Post a comment to this post.

One person will be randomly selected to receive a free copy of Worldliness.  If you don’t win today, don’t worry, there are 3 more posts yet to come. If you  tweeted/shared/commented yesterday, yes, you need to tweet/share/comment today to have a chance to win the book today.

[image by oddharmonic]

EDIT 2/25 9:40 AM: I’m going to wait until tomorrow (Friday) morning to post the next article in this series (on Worldliness and money/materialism) and draw the winner of the second of 5 books.  So, anyone who shares/retweets & comments today and before 8 AM tomorrow can still win.

Thanks to Crossway Books, I’m giving away 5 copies of Worldliness over the next two weeks.  Keep reading for details on how you can get a copy.

Worldliness by C.J. Mahaney is a book written to challenge Christians with the words of Jesus in John 2:15 – “Do not love the world or anything in the world.”  Mahaney defines worldliness as “to gratify and exalt oneself to the exclusion of God.”  And the book delves into how that verse applies in 21st century American life.

Specifically, Worldliness focuses on four areas where American Christians

• Media consumption
• Music
• Consumerism
• Modesty

It then wraps up with a chapter about how Christians should love the world.

Mahaney goes to great lengths to make it clear that he is not promoting legalistic guidelines nor is he advocating Christians separate, hate, or hide from 21st century American culture, though I’m sure many will accuse him of those things anyway.

Instead, Worldliness challenges Christians who genuinely want to follow Jesus by asking soul-searching questions and providing practical suggestions for how to live lives that more resemble that of Jesus than the world today.

Favorite quotes from the book:

• If we are honest, we too may have to admit that we have a Bible of our own making – a metaphorical one, perhaps, but a cut-and-paste job just the same. (p15)
• Today, the greatest challenge facing American evangelism is not persecution from the world, but seduction by the world. (p22)
• Do you relate to God as if he exists to further your selfish ambitions or are you convinced that you exist to glorify him? (p28)
• The evil in our desires often lies not in what we want, but in the fact that we want it too much.- David Powlison (p30)
• What should consume our thoughts and affections is not resisting worldliness but the glory and grace of God revealed at the cross. (p35)

There are lots of other good quotes from later in the book which I’ll include later in this 5 part series of posts.

Personal Thoughts

Surveys show that the lives of Americans who claim to be Christians are not noticeably different from those say they are not Christians.  American Christians are just as likely to divorce, lie, get even with someone, and help the poor as someone who is not a Christian.  Additionally, the spending habits, media consumption, and time-usage of American Christians are not noticeably different from general population either.

If you are a Christian, let me ask you one of the question C.J. Mahaney asks in this book: is your lifestyle obviously different from that of your non-Christian friends, neighbors, and co-workers?

It’s a question I just can’t get past.

In some ways I know my life is different.  But many times as I go through my week it seems just like any other American’s week… 5 days a week getting up at the crack of dawn, working my butt off all day at week to meet goals and expectations, come home, eat, help the kids with their homework, ball games, and extra curricular activities, then watch some TV before bed.  I get more and more tired as the week goes on, and then on the weekends I just want to have rest or have fun until it’s time to do it all over again.

Forward or upward?

The thing is that most of the things of this world that we fall in love with are not necessarily bad.  There’s nothing wrong with watching TV, buying stuff, working hard to be successful, or being admired by our friends.  Those things aren’t inherently bad like murder or stealing.  The problem is when worldly things begin to crowd out the godly things in our hearts and our lives.

As Christians, our goals should be higher than pursuing our own success or pleasure while “not doing anything wrong.” Our goals should be to follow Jesus and live a life that exemplifies His love towards others.

Let’s say you’re in Nashville, TN and you want to get to Chicago.  There’s nothing wrong with driving due east to Knoxville.  You’d still be about the same 8-hour drive away from Chicago.  But in the process you would have wasted 3 hours and about $20 of gas, and you’d be that much more tired than when you started.

That is how many of us live their lives, putting most of our time, energy, and resources into pursuits that aren’t evil but don’t take us any closer to the goal.

Mahaney challenges us with this question:

What are your goals? Do the drive you forward – to financial security, more friends, successful kids, a certain position at work, learning a craft or trade? Or do they drive you upward- to obeying and glorifying God above all else?

Upward or forward?

Maybe you give some money to church and help others, and you volunteer here and there.  On the diagram above you’re not going straight horizontal towards worldliness but perhaps a 10-degree north of that.  Are you content with putting 10% of your time, energy, and resources towards the goal while squandering 90% on worldliness?

Worldliness is not about legalistic rules or trying to shut yourself out from the world.  If you genuinely love God and want to honor Him with a life that is noticeably different the world, this book can challenge you and help you do that.

Get a free copy

If you’d like a free copy of Worldliness, all you have to do is

1. Retweet this post or share it on Facebook.
2. Post a comment about worldliness or your own struggles with worldliness.

One person will be randomly selected to receive a free copy of Worldliness.  If you don’t win today, don’t worry.  I’ll be doing 4 more posts on topics addressed in the book – media & music, consumerism, modesty, and how to love the world – and giving away a copy of the book with each post.

Earlier this week Brad Ruggles posted this funny video, How to Report the News, to his blog.  In it, Charlie Brooker describes and takes shots at the formula a lot of TV news stories follow.  Have a look.  (Pardon the F-bomb at the 25-second mark).

The video is hilarious.  But it is also eye-opening for me.

I never thought about the elements of a TV news story before.  But now that I’ve seen the formula, it makes TV news seem so disingenuous, so calculated, so boring.

I hardly ever watch TV news anymore, and this is probably at least part of the reason why.

Formulas are amazing and seductive…

We love to take things that are successful, analyze them, and condense them down into simple steps that we can follow to repeat those successes over and over without thinking.   I know I do.

I’m guessing you love formulas, too.  You clicked to read this post, didn’t you?

That’s cool, because in many situations formulas are great.  It’s hard to find fault with 12 step programs, cookbooks, and instructions for assembling a kid’s bike.  (Though, my appreciation for the latter has been known to wane on Christmas morning.)

But in other areas of life formulas can get us in trouble.  The financial formula that worked so well for someone else can bankrupt us.  Copying someone else’s formula when it comes to things like music, web design, leadership style can make us look like cheap imitations.  Using a formula or “standard procedure” can leave other people feeling like nothing more than a number.

Repeating the same formula in your church service or business meetings can start to feel like watching an episode of Scooby Doo, where the plot is predictably the same in every episode and they “would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids.”

So, when is it good to use a formula, system, or process and when is it not?  How do you decide?

Happy New Year!

My apologies to those of you who may have read about this in my post on Christian Web Trends yesterday, but I think it’s too good and too applicable not to write about here…

As you would probably guess just by the name of this blog, Live Intentionally, I’m a big proponent of setting goals, that includes annual goals or resolutions.

Michael Hyatt had a fantastic post last week titled How to Make New Year’s Resolutions Stick in which he pointed out the difference between good resolutions and bad resolutions using a nifty little acronym.  It’s so good I’m just going to pilfer it for your benefit.

Good resolutions are S.M.A.R.T.:

• Specific – Goals should identify exactly what you want to accomplish.
• Measurable – Goals should be able to be evaluated with a yes/no or a numerical evaluation.
• Actionable – Every resolution should start with a verb (e.g. “Create,” “Run,” “Eliminate,” “Read”)
• Realistic – A good resolution should stretch you, but still be attainable.
• Time-bound – Every resolution should have a completion date associated with it.

Have you created New Year’s Resolutions or annual goals for 2010?  Are they S.M.A.R.T. resolutions?

If not, I hope you’ll make the time to set SMART goals for 2010.  It’s one of the most important things you can do to make 2010 your best year yet!

[image by chanc]

The world we live in is rapidly changing.  We have more choices than ever before.  We have more options for how we spend our time, how we spend our money, the media we consume, and the people we interact with.  We are also more connected than ever before through Facebook, Twitter, text messaging, and smart phones.

In many ways, these are good developments.

But they can also make it very difficult to live the kind of life we want to live.  A life that’s productive.  A life full of rich relationships and experiences.

Our Hyperconnected World

Earlier today I posted a review of the book, The Church of Facebook.  In it author Jesse Rice talks about Continuous Partial Attention – This is the impulse to constantly check Facebook, Twitter, email, etc.  It’s motivated by the desire to not miss anything.  It creates an artificial sense of crisis.  It can cause a person to become over stimulated and unable to focus on what’s right in front of him.

Know anyone like that?

Ever stop what you’re doing for just a second to check phone, text, or email messages and then find yourself still there 20 minutes later?

Ever login to Facebook, look up, and realize you’ve been there for an hour and have no idea where the time went?

You’re not alone.  I struggle to live well in this hyperconnected world too.  See my post from last month – Help! I’m Drowning in the Stream.

The Flash Flood

Twenty years ago people had to guard against wasting too much time in front of the TV and from telephone interruptions.  Ten years ago email started to suck away at our time and attention.  But those are a drop in the bucket compared to today’s continual stream of Facebook updates, Tweets, texts that come into our computers and now follow us everywhere we go on our smart phones.

Later Rice writes that in our hyperconnected society “life can all to often feel like little more than a knee-jerk reaction to urgent emails, phone calls, meetings, and decisions.”

Sound familiar?

If you don’t know what is most important to you, if you don’t know what you want to accomplish in 2010, and if you don’t have a plan to get there the odds are overwhelming that you’re just going to float down the stream of endless messages.

How are you dealing with the new reality of hyperconnection?  Drowning? Staying afloat?

Do you have goals for 2010 and a plan to live intentionally rather than reactively?

I’ve been doing a lot of work and experimentation in the last month with time management and social media management plans.  It’s made a huge difference in my productivity and emotional well-being.  I’ll be blogging more about that soon.