Let me just say up front that I haven’t watched NBA basketball since Michael Jordan retired, and I haven’t followed the LeBron James drama at all.  But I read the letter Cleveland Cavaliers Owner, Dan Gilbert, wrote in response to James’ decision to go to the Miami Heat, and… wow!  Can you say…

Worst.

Letter.

Ever.

Read it for yourself.   There are at least 7 leadership lessons we can learn from this.

1) Don’t resort to name-calling. It makes you look like a 5th grader. In the letter, Gilbert calls James a deserter, narcissistic, self-promotional, betrayer, cowardly, shameful, selfish, disloyal, heartless, and callous.  Ouch!  Is he going for the nickname “insult thesaurus?”

2) Don’t blog/email/tweet when you’re angry. You will regret it later.

3) If you’re a public figure, hire a gate-keeper/media manager who you run your public communication through before it becomes public.

4) Always take the high road. I don’t know  LeBron James’ character or what happened behind the scenes.  But even if he is everything Gilbert called him and more, it’s just classless to insult a person publicly.

5) Don’t promise things you can’t possibly deliver. It just makes you look like you’ve lost all grip of reality.  Gilbert wrote, “”I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE.”  Please.  All this says is you want to show LeBron up.

6) When you sound like you’re out-of-control, manipulative, and classless, you lose all public sympathy, and you give everyone you’re criticizing justification for getting as far away from you as possible.

7) As a leader, when you look like an idiot, you embarrass everyone around you. I feel bad for the rest of the Cavs organization and Cavs fans.

And one bonus lesson…

Don’t rant in comic sans font.  It will only make you look more ridiculous.

This letter is embarrassing not only for Dan Gilbert but also for the entire the entire Cleveland Cavaliers organization and the entire city of Cleveland.  There will be damage control.  He will probably issue a carefully crafted mea culpa apologizing, citing passion for the Cavs, emotions getting the best of him, etc.  But Gilbert will never be able to live this down.

Your thoughts on the now infamous letter?  Other lessons learned from it?

The drama of the World Cup continues to build.  For a while yesterday, it seemed as though host country South Africa might pull off the impossible and overcome a 5 goal differential to advance out of group play.  France completely imploded on and off the field.  And 4 teams advanced to the round of 16.

But there are still some things about the World Cup that bother me.  Not an annoying, gnat-buzzing-about-your-ear sort of bother, though.  Some aspects of the game that create disincentives to our most important values as human beings.

In part 1, I wrote about how the World Cup makes possible the injustice of fluke wins.  In part 2, we discussed playing not to lose.  Another thing I dislike about the World Cup?

3) Diving

No other sport’s referees have more influence over the outcomes of its games than those of World Cup football/soccer.  In a sport where one goal usually decides the game, free kicks are huge.  As a result World Cup football/soccer players are constantly over-dramatizing contact with other players in an attempt to get free kicks.

The rules state that diving is to be punished with a yellow card, but this is rarely enforced.

Diving is compounded by constant whining to the referees about fouls.

It reaches the pinnacle of ridiculousness when a player is supposedly fouled so hard that they need to be carried off on a stretcher, only to hop off the stretcher once it reaches the sideline, and return to the match.

Successful People Overcome

Success in real life is not achieved by focusing on those who have wronged us, over-dramatizing those wrongs, complaining about them, and expecting someone else to compensate us for those wrongs.

Successful people don’t have time to blame or complain.  They’re focused on the goal.  They keep going even when there are obstacles.  They keep going even when others foul them.

Does the diving, over-dramatizing of fouls, and complaining in World Cup football/soccer bother you?

How big a factor do you think overcoming obstacles is (rather than complaining about them) in a person’s success?

I saw this video the other day on Trey Pennington’s blog, and I think it’s just fantastic!

It is 16 minutes long, so don’t try to watch it if you’re on the clock at work.  But I think it’s really worth the the time.

Trey primarily applied the theme of the video to social media.  He wrote:

Here’s the foundational principle at work on social media:

• everyone wants to be heard
• everyone wants to be understood
• everyone wants to know his or her life matters.

Social media is really no different than off-line, “real” life.

Every person wants to be treated like a person.

Every person is unique.

Every person is special.

Every person is gifted.

Every person can make a great impact on others.

Not only that, but…

You are unique.

You are special.

You are gifted.

You can make a great impact on others.

You are awesome!

If you can believe that, then let’s take it one step further.

Every person you meet today is unique, gifted, and capable of making a great impact on others.

Will you notice?

Will you tell them?

Not just the smart, the beautiful, the popular, the well-connected.  Everyone.

Will you validate?

The biggest sporting event in the world is in full swing now.  There is plenty to like about the World Cup, but there are also some things about it that bother me.  I’m not talking about little, pet peeve bothers like the vuvuzelas.  Rather there are some aspects of the game that create disincentives to our most important values as human beings.

As mentioned last week in part 1, the injustice of fluke wins is one thing to dislike.

A second thing to dislike…

2) Playing not to lose

I don’t think there is any other sport in the world that allows matches to end in a tie. Many teams, underdogs in particular, are happy to finish a match 0-0.  I think it’s terrible that not losing is viewed as such a great accomplishment.

Furthermore, the low-scoring nature of World Cup soccer means that many teams are more concerned about not giving up goals rather than trying to score.

One of the saddest changes in World Cup soccer has taken place in Brazil, which is the most successful country all-time in World Cup play and has long been known for it’s free-flowing, creative, goal-scoring style of play called “jogo bonito.” Brazil hired a new coach who is emphasizing a more conservative, defensive style of play and removed many of the flashiest goal-scorers from the national team.

One of our fundamental human values is the adventure of taking risks.  World Cup soccer has disincentives to taking risks to try to score goals and win games.

As I finish writing this, Portugal is thrashing North Korea 7-0.  Even before the game became such a blow-out, I thought it was one of the best games of the tournament so far because both teams were really trying to score and trying to win.

Does it bother you when teams play not to lose?  When they’re more concerned about not giving up a goal than trying to score?

Another inspiring video that was a part of our worship service this morning at Cypress Meadows Community Church.  In the service we were reminded that being a great dad isn’t about being perfect.  Being a great dad is about persevering, never giving up.  Dick Hoyt’s perseverance is truly inspiring. Watch this video which tells his story and his son’s.

Today is the Memorial Day holiday here in the U.S.  It’s a holiday set aside for the remembrance of the men and women who sacrificed their lives in service of our country.

Freedom is not free.

We are blessed to live in a country with unprecedented freedom.

• We are free to write and speak our mind.
• We are free to marry the one we love, have children, and raise them the way we think best.
• We are free to worship God any way we choose.
• We are free to select our own local and national leaders.
• We are free to pursue our dreams even when they seem impossible, crazy, or stupid to everyone else.

I thank God for these freedoms.  I’m grateful for all who have sacrificed their lives going all the way back to the War of Independence all the way up through the war against terrorism going on in Afghanistan today.  My heartfelt gratitude and sympathy to all of you who have lost love ones fighting for freedom.

This post an open forum for everyone to post their thoughts related to Memorial Day.

If you’ve lost a love one in service, write a note about him or her in the comments.

If you want to express your gratitude and sympathy to those who have lost love ones, please do.

If you have a favorite story or quote about freedom or sacrifice that’s meaningful for you, please share it.

[Image by soldiersmediacenter]

To be honest, when I first received a copy of The Search for God and Guinness I was not all that excited about it.  I love God and I like beer, but I am not a big reader of biographies, preferring “more practical” books on leadership, spiritual issues, or social media.  So, it sat on my bookshelf for several months.

When in finally cracked it open I was sorry I waited so long to read it.

In the Search for God and Guinness, Stephen Mansfield tells the story of the Guinness family starting with Arthur Guinness, founder of the famed brewery, and continuing through the Guinnesses of today.  While the book recounts the amazing rise of one of the must successful breweries in the world, what makes the book and the Guinness family fascinating is the accounts of their character, faith, and generosity.

Because of their commitment to excellence and innovation in brewing the Guinnesses became exceptionally wealthy and influential.  But rather than selfishly squander it on themselves, they were exceptionally generous with the pay and benefits they gave their workers and they demonstrated an unusual commitment to improving the conditions of the poor in Ireland and Great Britain.

Favorite Quotes

• Clearly, this was the understanding at the time: gin destroys lives while beer is healthy and safe, enhancing rather than eroding good society.
• “We must exhort all Christians to gain all they can and to save all they can; that is in effect to grow rich… to give all he can to those in need.” John Wesley
• Arthur Guinness was the founder of the first Sunday schools in Ireland.
• October 25, 1886, the stock offering sold out within an hour.
• A Guinness worker during the 1920s enjoyed full medical and dental care, massage services, reading rooms, subsidized meals, a company- funded pension, subsidies for funeral expenses, educational benefits, sports facilities, free concerts, lectures, and entertainment, and a guaranteed two pints of Guinness beer a day.
• In 2005 the British people voted the widget (the small plastic capsule that allows a can of Guinness to be properly nitrogenated) the greatest invention in the previous forty years.
• A company should be measured by the culture it creates… what is encouraged to grow, the behavior and ways of thinking that are inspired.
• Guinness demonstrated the good that righteous wealth can do.
• A man’s profession was where he demonstrated to the world who he was.
• Don’t just sell your product – sell your product’s culture.
• “Gentlemen, find out the will of God for your day and generation, and then, as quickly as possible, get into line.” Prince Albert
• Whatever else you do, do at least one thing very well.

Personal thoughts

Stephen Mansfield concludes the narrative portion of The Search for God and Guinness with this line.

That part of the heritage will only live when men absorb it from the Guinness story and embed it in fertile fields of their own.

Clearly, he wrote this book not just to tell a fascinating story but to inspire leaders today to follow in the Guinness tradition.  These two sentences sum up that tradition.

What distinguishes [the first Arthur Guinness’s] story is that he understood his success as forming a kind of mandate, a kind of calling to a purpose of God beyond just himself and his family to the broader good he could do in the world.

[The Guinnesses] knew how to brew beer, yes, but they also knew how to care for their employees, how to invest wealth for social good, and how to create corporate cultures that would change the course of nations.

In an era where there is immense distrust and cynicism towards corporations and wealth – to the extent where a significant portion of the population considers them inherently evil – I found this account of success and generosity inspiring.

I highly recommend The Search for God and Guinness, especially if you lead or own a business.

Action Steps

As the CEO of a small business and a person of faith, I came away from God and Guinness with a renewed passion to do 4 things.

1. Do what we do exceptionally well.
2. Create a culture of excellence, innovation, faith and generosity.
3. Be more generous with our employees.
4. Be more generous with in our community and the world.

Discussion

Do you believe wealth is inherently evil?  Or do you believe in “the good that righteous wealth can do?”  Do you believe companies have a responsibility to invest in their employees and make their communities better?  If so, how?

Get a Free Book

If you’d like a free copy of God and Guinness, all you have to do is

1. Retweet this post or share it on Facebook, and
2. Post a meaningful comment to this post that contributes to the conversation (include your Facebook or Twitter usename in your comment so I can connect your comment to your share/tweet).

One person will be randomly selected the morning of Wednesday 3/10 to receive a free copy of God and Guinness.

Congrats to “J Rae” winner of the 4th of 5 copies of Worldliness by C.J. Mahaney.  I’m giving away one last copy of the book today.  Keep reading for details.

One of the fears I had going into this discussion about Worldliness is that it would come off sounding very anti – anti-media, anti-secular-music, anti-stuff, anti-women. Plus it could easily be misinterpreted as legalistic, judgmental, or isolationist.  One of the things that’s most concerning to me is that Christians are known more for what they’re against than for what they are for, and I didn’t want this conversation to reinforce that stereotype.

Neither did C.J. Mahaney when he wrote Worldliness as he wrapped it up with a final chapter called How to Love the World.  In it he mentions 3 ways to love the world, I’ve added a 4th that is weaved throughout the book and should motivate all our thinking about how we engage the world.

4 Ways to Love the World

1) Love creation – God created an mind-blowing universe and gave us an amazing little place in it called Earth.  Scripture tells us, “The heavens declare the glory of the Lord.” From the grandeur of the mountains and the great oceans to the diversity and intricacies of all the little creatures in the rain forests, there’s enough beauty in this world to fill a thousand lifetimes.

2) Love work – We have a working God.  He is restoring and reconciling this entire world unto himself.  We have been created in his image to be workers.  He’s given each of us a vocation.  He’s also given us the responsibilities to take care of the earth, our families, and the people around us.  This work is not be resented as a burden but to be appreciated.  It’s our mission. It’s our opportunity to be a part of the work God is doing.

3) Love people – There’s a great temptation to view people who are caught up in worldliness or promoting worldliness as the enemy.  They’re not.  God loves everyone, including the gansta rapper, the porn star, the marketing executive who’s trying to get you to want stuff you don’t need, and girl (or guy) who dresses provocatively to get your attention.  We should too.  Really.  We need to love them enough to share the gospel with them.  But we also need to be willing to love and serve them without the hidden agenda of trying to get them to change.

4) Love God – Throughout this series we talked about how media, music, materialism, and immodesty can pull us away from God.  However, reacting wrongly to those dangers can be just as harmful.  Don’t let fear or a sense of obligation lead you to erect legalistic rules, become judgmental, or isolate yourself from the world.  The motivation to avoid worldliness should come from a love for God.  The more we focus on God and love God, the less we want the things this world has to offer.

Do you love creation, work, and people – even those who promote worldliness?

Is your desire to avoid worldliness motivated by fear or love for God?

Get a Free Book

If you’d like a free copy of Worldliness, all you have to do is

1. Retweet this post or share it on Facebook, and
2. Post a comment to this post.

One person will be randomly selected the morning of Friday 3/5 to receive a free copy of Worldliness.  If you  tweeted/shared/commented an earlier post, yes, you can tweet/share/comment on this post for another chance to win.

Congrats to Rusty Akers winner of the 3rd of 5 copies of Worldliness by C.J. Mahaney.  I’m giving away another book today.  Keep reading for details.

Of all the chapters in Worldliness, the one that I found most revolutionary was the one about modesty.  I’ve heard plenty of people talk about the influence music, media, and materialism has on us, but this is the first time I’ve read anything that tackled the issue of modesty in the way C.J. Mahaney does in Worldliness.

Mahaney includes this quote from a young college man.

The thing women do no seem to fully grasp is that the temptation towards lust does not stop; it is continual; it is aggressive; it does all it can to lead men down to death.  They have a choice to help or deter it’s goal. Sometimes, when I see a girl provocatively dressed, I’ll say to myself, “She probably doesn’t know that 101 guys are going to devour her in their minds today.  But then again, maybe she does.”

Porn => Lust <= Immodesty

Pornography is a huge problem among men in the U.S. including Christians.  Only in the last few years have some churches begun to speak out on the dangers of porn and offer recovery groups for those struggling with addictions.

The underlying issue with porn is lust.  Men use porn to exploit their own pull towards visual stimulation to stir up lust for momentary pleasure.

Immodesty is essentially the other side of the same coin.  When women dress provocatively they exploit men’s pull towards visual stimulation and stir up lust in order feel good about themselves.  (Just to be clear, the porn/modesty connection is not made in Worldliness, it’s my own observation.)

Like the young man quoted above, I don’t think most women dress to intentionally stir up lust in men.  I think the predominant mindset in our culture among women is that a great outfit turns heads and draw attention.  Most women are flattered when one of their girlfriends tells them they look hot or sexy.  And in their quest for a little attention, in their desire to feel good about themselves, they don’t realize the temptation they are putting in front of men.

Sisters in Christ

The book includes a quote from another young man.

When a woman dresses immodestly, it doesn’t make it easy to see her as a sister in Christ. There’s a constant battle going on as I’m talking with her.  Communication becomes more difficult because as I’m trying to listen to her, I’m also trying to fight temptation.

I can attest to this myself.  I remember a specific situation a couple of years ago where I was teaching a class at church.  We broke off into discussion groups of 3-4 people and I ended up sitting across the table from a woman who was wearing a low-cut top that showed a lot of cleavage.  I honestly have no idea what we talked about and I probably sounded like a babbling idiot because about 80% of my concentration went into keeping my eyes focused on her face.

I’m not suggesting women shouldn’t look good or should hide themselves inside a shapeless robe and head covering like many Muslim women do.  But I think women need to be aware of how their dress affects the men around them.  Women, you have the ability to help or hinder your brothers in Christ as they battle lust each day.

I love the definition of modesty in the book.

Modesty is humility expressed in dress.  It’s a desire to serve others, particularly men, by not promoting or provoking sensuality.

After reading and thinking on this chapter, I’m convinced modesty is a topic that needs more attention and discussion.

What can you do?

• Women – Every time you get dressed ask yourself, “What’s my motivation for wearing this outfit?”  Am I trying to honor God or am I trying to draw attention to myself?
• Women (#2) – Talk about modesty with your friends.  Chances are they’ve never thought about their clothing in the ways we’re discussing here.
• Husbands – Help your wife understand how her clothes affect men.  Tell her when an outfit she’s wearing could be an issue for other men.  If seeing other guys stare at your wife makes you feel good about yourself, you might want to do some soul-searching.
• Dads – It’s your job to help your daughters understand modesty and dress modestly.
• Pastors & youth pastors – When was the last time you taught about modesty?  If you’re a man, maybe there’s a woman in your congregation who would be better suited to teach about it.
• Twitterers, Facebookers, bloggers – Share this post.  Comment.  Write your own post about modesty.  I specifically call on Christian women with whom this might have struck a cord to take the lead.  Women need to hear this message from other women.

What are your thoughts on modesty?

Get a Free Book

If you’d like a free copy of Worldliness, all you have to do is

1. Retweet this post or share it on Facebook, and
2. Post a comment to this post.

One person will be randomly selected the morning of Thursday 3/4 to receive a free copy of Worldliness.  If you don’t win today, don’t worry, there is one more posts yet to come. If you  tweeted/shared/commented an earlier post, yes, you can tweet/share/comment on this post for another chance to win.

Yesterday, we kicked off a 5 part series based on the book Worldliness by C.J. Mahaney.  With each post, we’re giving away a copy of Worldliness.  Congrats to Lee Buford who is the winner of the first copy.  We’re giving away another copy today, with details at the end of the post.

To recap… Worldliness challenges Christians with the words of Jesus found in John 2:15, “Do not love the world or anything in the world.” The world is full of things that attempt to seduce and distract us from our primary calling to love and serve God. Surveys show the lives of American Christians are not noticeably different from those who are not Christians. Whether that’s true for you or not, it’s clear that all of us battle the temptations of this world on a daily basis.

Two areas the book examines are media and music, which we’re going to take on together today.

Media is Everywhere

In today’s modern world, media constantly surrounds us from the clock radio that wakes us up, to the radio in the car, the billboards along the street, magazines, newspapers, and MP3 players.  For the last 50 years TV has been the most influential medium.  In the last few years, the Internet has surpassed TV for many people.  Now we are on the cusp of a media revolution.  Broadband mobile devices will ensure that the entire Internet is always at the tip of our fingers.

Media is Powerful

Our culture has conflicting views on the power of media.  Most people say TV, music, and commercials have little impact on them.

But our actions say otherwise.  Advertisers spend $215 billion a year just on TV commercials – because they work.  When we make presentations at work, we usually include video or Powerpoint.  Most medium and larger churches have media teams.  When we want to have a romantic evening with that special someone we carefully select the right music to set the mood.

Television has greater power over the lives of most Americans than any educational system, government or church. – Kent Hughes

The Old Battle with Media

Christians have been battling media for decades.  However, the focus has been rather one-dimensional.  It’s been primarily about trying to stay away from offensive material.  How many times have we been warned of the evils of sex and violence on TV, in the movies, and in music lyrics?

I’ve heard the warnings so many times, that as soon as I even think someone’s headed down that road my instinct is to think, “Here we go again” and tune them out.  (That’s probably a warning sign in and of itself.)

The New Battle

But the temptation of worldliness is not primarily the temptation to choose evil over good, but rather to choose that which is temporary and meaningless over God.  This is true for our media consumption as well.

6 Ways Media Moves Us

I invite you to join me in examining how the media we consume moves us in these 6 ways.

1) Values. Does the media you consume support or insult your values?  Do the shows you watch make gossip, lying, and insulting people look cool?  Does it make fun of people of faith, chastity, fathers, or stay-at-home moms.  Does it glorify self-centeredness or independence?

2) Time. Is your media consumption keeping your from doing more important things?  Do you spend lots of time watching TV or online but struggle to consistently spend time alone with God?  Are you serving others?  Helping the poor?  Spending consistent time with your spouse and kids?  Or is your media consumption getting in the way of that?

3) Heart. Does the media you consume help you focus your thoughts on God?  Or do the ads and commercials cause you to daydream about what you’d like buy?  Does that TV show or website ignite lustful thoughts?  Do those love songs or romance novels stir fantasies?

4) Focus. Does having radio, TV, or computer on keep you from being able to fully focus on your work, listening to the people in the same room with you, or hearing from God?  Are there times, when you just need to turn everything off?

5) State of mind. Does your desire to keep up with your TV shows, Facebook, or Twitter stress you out?  Do you feel anxious if you don’t have your mobile phone on you?  Do you feel like you have to play Farmville, or Webkinz, or Twitter or blog every day?  Do you agonize over how others might perceive a Facebook update or tweet?

6) Pride/Humility. When you’re posting to Facebook or Twitter are you doing so just to get attention?  Are you being disingenuous in order to make yourself look good.

Discussion

Revising the poorly drawn diagram from yesterday what direction is your media consumption taking you?

Of the 6 ways media moves us mentioned above, which is the greatest struggle?  Where are you seeing the most success?

Action

Reflection and discussion are important, but they won’t change your life or redirect you more towards God . What if any changes are you going to make to your media consumption?

Get a Free Book

If you’d like a free copy of Worldliness, all you have to do is

1. Retweet this post or share it on Facebook, and
2. Post a comment to this post.

One person will be randomly selected to receive a free copy of Worldliness.  If you don’t win today, don’t worry, there are 3 more posts yet to come. If you  tweeted/shared/commented yesterday, yes, you need to tweet/share/comment today to have a chance to win the book today.

[image by oddharmonic]

EDIT 2/25 9:40 AM: I’m going to wait until tomorrow (Friday) morning to post the next article in this series (on Worldliness and money/materialism) and draw the winner of the second of 5 books.  So, anyone who shares/retweets & comments today and before 8 AM tomorrow can still win.