Everything does NOT Happen for a Reason

everything happens for a reasonI frequently hear people say “Everything happens for a reason.” It’s usually said in the midst of challenging circumstances as a way of trying to make some sense of the situation. But is this really true?

Does everything happen for a reason?

I posted this question on the Live Intentionally Facebook page which prompted a fascinating conversation with people with all kinds of diverse views about God and the universe weighing in. I love it!


Following that conversation, I realize one clarification is necessary: when we say “everything happens for a reason” we’re not talking about simple, physical cause and effect. We’re talking about a higher power orchestrating events for a reason. If a hammer slips out of my hand and lands on my toe, we all understand there are physical reasons for that – my hand was sweaty, gravity pulled it down, etc. That’s not at issue here. The question is whether God (or some other being/force) wanted the hammer to hit my toe for some greater purpose.

As you can already tell from the title of this post…

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason.

If we say “Everything happens for a reason” that would indicate that God (or some other all-powerful person/force) intends for everything to happen that happens. That is just not consistent with what I know from the bible or from personal experience.

First of all, the God of the bible (the God I know and follow) is a God of order. He created systems that govern the laws of nature. He does not have to choose where the planets will be every moment of every day; He created gravity to do that. He does not have to choose where and when it will rain every moment of every day; He created weather systems to do that.

Certainly there is both biblical and experiential evidence to show that God intervenes in world events. God can and has stopped the sun in its place (Joshua 10:13). God can and has caused the start and end of droughts (Haggai 1:11).

But if it rains, should I be saying, “I guess God didn’t want my son to play baseball today?” Or on a grander scale, “I guess God didn’t want the Patriots to win the Superbowl this year?” Does God have some greater purpose behind the fact that we’re out of bagels and I had an English muffin for breakfast?

If so, why create systems at all? It just doesn’t seem consistent with who God is and how He operates.

Certainly there is lots of room to debate the degree to which God is actively intervenes in day to day events. Sometimes – yes. Every time – no. Sometimes the hammer falls on your toe just because your hand was sweaty.

Second, we as human beings have free will. We can choose good or evil. All is not decided for us. If I punch you in the nose, it is not “God’s will” for you to have a bloody nose but mine.

God is all-good. He is not capable of perpetrating evil. He is also all-powerful and has the capacity to intervene in world events when he wants to. But he often he chooses not to leaving us to deal with the natural consequences of our actions both good and bad.

The good news, however…

is that the bible tells us in Romans 8:28

In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Even though God doesn’t cause bad things to happen to us, He is able to use all circumstances – no matter how bad – for our good if we allow him. The same power of God that raised Jesus from the dead is capable of healing our physical, emotional and relational wounds. And often in his infinite wisdom, God uses us to bring comfort, guidance and healing to others who are going through the same bad circumstances we experienced.

So, when I or someone I know faces challenging circumstances instead of saying, “Everything happens for a reason,” I choose to say, “This is tough, but God is powerful and loving enough to use even these circumstances to bring about good.”

What do you think?  Do you think “everything happens for a reason?”  Why or why not?

312 Responses to “Everything does NOT Happen for a Reason”

  1. Hi Paul, it’s pleasure for me talking to you, Can you clarify some of my doubts, I’d had some doubts, I hope you will clarify me; we’re predestined by God, therefore whatever we do (good/ bad), God knew it will be so. Due to Adam and Eve, sin came to the world that we’d inherited, Gen: 16-17, the LORD God commanded the Adam, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. Does this mean the Lord God already knew sin/dead will be on earth and used the serpent to deceived Adam and Eve as everything is predestined? Paul I believe in predestination but not 100 percent or if there’s 100 percent predestination then there’s no free will, it therefore mean free will is already designed.

  2. I have a problem with your statement that “God intervenes in world events,” especially as it relates to whether everything happens for a reason.
    Consider World War II. The atrocities which people did to each other, while obviously horrendous, are not my concern here. Rather, I have learned that many people, particularly in Europe, lost their faith after seeing and living through the devastation. If it is true that “God intervenes in world events,” then the next question is necessarily why doesn’t he intervene more often? Is the answer “there is no reason,” because not everything happens for a reason? So then is when God intervenes with the effects of free will and the laws of nature which he set in motion all random? Why wouldn’t a loving God at least intervene in a major world event that would cause so many people to lose their faith?
    While at 1st blush it may seem comforting to say that not everything happens for a reason (because then God does not seem so directly responsible for the bad things that happen), but if he can intervene if he wants to, that momentary comfort becomes a mirage.
    This comment comes from a person who had his neck broken in a freak accident and is now a quadriplegic. I am having the same thoughts as the Europeans who lived through World War II, and try as I may, I have not been able to figure out how to use my circumstances to bring about good. When it comes to my injury, I agree that not everything happens for a reason; but why didn’t an all-powerful loving God prevent it from happening?

    • Hey Jake, you ask some great questions. If God can intervene in world events why doesn’t he do it more often?

      My honest answer is I don’t know. How can any of us understand the God of the universe, a God who knows everything and has the perspective of being able to see both the entire history of the universe and its future?

      In the bible (Isaiah 55:8) it’s written “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”

      Does any of us deserve even a single breath in this world that God alone created, of air that He alone created, in bodies that He alone created?

      Many Europeans who lived through WW2 experienced horrific circumstances and others had their lives cut short, but I choose to believe each day of life is a gift from God. Even the baby who dies the same day she is born was given the gift of one day, and I believe even in that short time she accomplishes some good in the lives of those who know her.

      I don’t believe anyone “loses their faith” in God because of circumstances no matter how harsh. But I do believe that difficult circumstances do challenge people’s perspective on who God is and whether they really want to follow Him. When we face difficult circumstances, we come to realize that God does not exist to make our lives comfortable. He does not always prevent or take away our pain, but he will always be with us and help us endure.

      My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. -2 Corinthians 12:9

      Jake, thanks for voicing your heart-felt doubts here. I am really sorry to hear of your accident. I can’t imagine what that must be like. I do have confidence that because God kept you alive that he must have great plans for your future, even though that future will obviously look a lot different than you originally envisioned it.

      I know there have been many quadriplegics like Joni Eareckson Tada who have gone on to live amazing, inspirational lives with God’s help. If there’s anything I can ever do to help you, please let me know.

      • with out bad there can not be good. and the bad happens to those who can handle it war is a way of life in all matter without death there is no life. bad things happen to make other things good happen some time things r worse then others. but just remember u face what u must to earn your passage to the next life if your life is bad right now your last life must have been great and you missed treated it and to the next will be better if u accept the life you are in now and use it to a positive. you say you dont know how to use ur situation as a good thing but you can do something great for some one in your situation to show some one who is better off that they can do anything too something as small as putting on a hat by someone with no arms or legs is very impressive.

        • Steven, thanks for the comment. You made some interesting statements. What do you base them on?

          You wrote, “with out bad there can not be good” but we know according to the bible that in heaven there is only good and no bad.

          You also wrote, “just remember u face what u must to earn your passage to the next life” According to the bible, we can’t earn our passage to the next life. We have all sinned and fallen short of God’s standard. We are unable to earn our way to heaven. It is only through Jesus’ death to pay the punishment for our sin, that our sin is removed and our relationship with God is restored here on earth an in the next.

          If you don’t believe the bible or have a different worldview, that’s fine. Everyone is welcome here. I’m just curious as to what your view on suffering and the next life are based on.

          • The Bible does not say that there is no bad. That is the problem with Christians who think they know what is in the Bible. They hear what others have said but that does not make it so and Christians should read the Bible for themselves. The Bible often talks about how God hates evil. He could not hate it if it did not exist. Evil is possible because people abuse God’s gift of free will. That is why things happened in such things as World War 2.

          • Syeda Nusrat Ahmed January 19, 2016 at 3:18 am

            hey PAUL could you help me please? “PEOPLE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR BEING THIS EARTH HARM” Please gimme some points with logic.
            please! please! please help me!!!

          • Syeda, I don’t understand. What do you mean by “PEOPLE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR BEING THIS EARTH HARM”

          • Marjorie Winsted February 25, 2017 at 9:45 am

            Steven seems to believe in reincarnation. He spoke of a ‘past life’. He does not seem to be very well educated. (missed treated it) Really?
            I found this place after also stumbling across You Tube video by someone titling it Atheism-is-Unstoppable.

        • From my perspective I think everything For instance humans do as they will but they cannot choose to change the circumstances that are already made by God. We are in control of how we act, think, feel, etc..But God knows you and is constantly testing you and reminding you of your true self through our daily happenings.

      • You say life is a gift from God….well it is not for everyone !
        It can be a prison and a curse for some of us…Character are developed in people good and bad…good Characters are not developed by being hard on people all the time as God does to alot of us. He is a hard taskmaster and even when you try to do right by him…he is still hard.
        My character is not perfect…but I have always had compassion for others and have helped them so much…I try to live right.But I did not need God to do this…this is who I am with or with out him.
        I don’t need God to be a good person . In my life time I have tried to end my life many times and am still stuck here. You say God must have plans for us if he kept us here alive ? I don’t think so bud !I know this is not so !my attitude with God now was not always like this…..God neglected me far too long and lost me.Or maybe he forgot me because he is way too busy with more important people ! Hey God ! I am down here…can you see me ? No wait.. he cannot see me as there are way too many people here also who need help ! I am just a tiny grain of sand in a world of ocean shores….I might even be on the bottom of someones foot right now !

        • God is not the taskmaster. Humans are. God has given us the way; people choose not to abide by it for whatever reasons, mostly selfish or based upon fear, greed, or desire to control or a combination of things. I am sorry, Sophia, that something or things are not going well for you. You may need to break away from those surroundings as your oppressor is among them. I am not saying it will be easy but God will help if you trust in Him and you turn to a true Christian.

        • I have struggled with this for a while about people doing good and being good without God. My question is why? If there is no reason (judgment)to do good then why do good? Isaiah 64:6 states that our righteousness is like filthy rags. If you do good and it is not because of God, then why do it? because it make you feel good? How long does that last? Do you do it because you somehow think that it will help you with eternity? Like I said I struggle with this. I know that personally, without God and if I wanted to “be who I want to be” then I would be a horrible person. It is a choice to follow God. If you don’t then who knows where your path will lead. I know that I am rambling but I have come to believe that if people do good without God it is for their own benefit and not God’s. They really never do it for the right reasons. I hope that you will allow Christ to change your attitude.

      • Hi Paul. I stumbled upon this site by accident (or was it?). I feel saddened by all the pain and suffering I have read here. I too have a despairing life. I’m bipolar with moderate chronic pain. Maintaining a job for more than a year is difficult. My mental illness has stolen my about to cope with cruel and ruthless people, corporations, employers etc. I refuse to let any of this hinder my relationship with God. If it wasn’t for God, I would have committed suicide a long time ago. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish I were dead. This world is evil. I lost nearly everything I have ever worked for my whole life. I still refuse to blame God. The Book of Job is one of the reasons I hang on in quiet despair. I used to blame God and wonder why I’ve had some pretty atrocious things happen. I once asked one of my Christian friends why. The response I was given was a turning point. She said, “Perhaps it is to bring you closer to God”. I keep praying and praying. Nothing has improved in my life but I refuse to give into that. It IS Satan’s fault for all the bad things I have had happen.

        This is another way people should look at things: people who live a life of wrong-doing or evil may not have horrible things happen often if at all. Why is that? Because satan already won them. He doesn’t have to do anything more; but for God’s children, we are under constant fire because satan WANTS us to waiver in faith. He wants to win us and have God lose our soul. I was born again. I was a backslider. You are right. God loves us despite our humanly ways…even when we hate ourselves.

        I found one particular post interesting. The person had mentioned that another person my not appreciate the previous life they had so now they’re here to suffer (correct me if I’m wrong in my interpretation). That must be coming from someone who is not a Christian as Christians do not (or aren’t) to believe in reincarnation. You have one life. This is it. It’s not a dress rehearsal. By believing in Jesus as God in the flesh who came to earth and shed His blood so we wouldn’t have to be the one on the cross is all that is the only thing needed for the NEXT life…the only other life that is possible…eternal life. Non-believers are already dead. They just don’t know it yet.

        My only words I can impart to your readers is: Don’t give up. Don’t waiver in faith. Believe. Don’t let satan win your soul by denouncing God. The reward you will receive is far greater than your mind could ever comprehend in this life.

        • Teresa, thanks for your comment. I especially appreciate your point that perhaps sometimes God allows suffering because we are more likely to turn to him while suffering. It’s often when we are in the most difficult situations that we come to realize our complete dependence on God.

          • I loved an invisible and silent God all my life. Walked in His spirit and talked to Him daily. I had what I believed was a personal relationship with Him. I also worked hard to enter the health care profession to serve Him more, as well as through charities and mission work. Yet, despite my love, He allowed my child to die, my spouse to die, almost crippling physical health problems, preventing me from working, and now losing home and life savings. I did all that was right, and now you are saying God allows our suffering to get closer to Him? I was already close to Him, so why do I have to prove I love Him, more than I already do/DID! God does not care about us on a personal level. Sometimes now, I think He is just arrogant and cruel, and spiteful. I’m also sick and tired now, of other Christians, those not suffering that bad or at all, come up with every empty excuse as a reason to believe in God. If God loses many souls to hell, IT IS HIS FAULT!

          • I am truly sorry for your pain and loss.

      • Yes, we do deserve to breathe and sll these things because we had no choice in being created!

      • I am not trying to be evil , I heard this from someone before that Jesus sometimes allows things like this to happen because if he didnt then you might have left him in your
        pride but you broke you to keep you chasing after him sorry if I got this wrong.
        But it does happen at times for that reason not saying you but it happens for others.

    • I wonder the same all the time….like what about innocent children who are are being abused, raped or murdered. I have serious problems for one with how many children in native american residential schools were treated this way and suffer horribly now over it all ! They never truly heal from it ! What good is letti g that happen to defenseless children when there is a God ( supposedly) who is loving and good they say..where is he ? Is he watching it happen and doing nothing about it ? What about thoes children who cry out for help and God turns his back on them and lets it happen anyway to them. Imagine for a moment a child 5 years old being raped by an adult male Catholic priest running those schools ? The torment and horrible pain that child goes through then and after. If any of us stood by and watched a crime or abuse being committed and did nothing …we would be considered horrible people wouldn’t we ? Why is God asking from us to be good people when he himself is not being that way ? I am so tired of the excuses the bible makes and Christians make for God ! If God really cares abut our characters and the kind of person we end up being..he should set a good example for us ! Is God made up ?
      How can I love God when I do not feel his love in my life or see in other peoples lives ( most of the time) ? God made this mess and we are in the middle of it ? This is not right ! What ever excuses people or God make is not going to cut it with me anymore ! I would rahter end up in hell than love or be with a God that is neglectful, cruel, and does nothing to tangibly help people. he savedf the Israelite from the Egyptions by parting the red sea ect…why not children in this day and age?
      There is NO reason good enough to allow such things to happen to innocent children and sit an just watch it happen as God does !
      God does NOT work things out for the better for those who beleive….and also those who don’t anymore like myself.He doesn’t do anything..that is if he even exists.Oh some may say that thing would be worse if God wasn’t in control…..really ? No cannot be much worse than it already is.
      When I faithfully walked with and fully trusted God in evetything..my life was horrible….without him it is still pretty horrible…only now I can think for myself and dont have to have bible stuff shoved in my face anymore…or hear excuses for every thing anymore. Personally I don’t really care about heaven or hell anymore..and no one can scare me with it either. Just amazes me how many out there would worship a God like this ? Simply amazes me and also makes me realize how easy people can end up in a cult etc…
      Maybe God does nothing simply because we have no guts to stand up to him like Abraham did or Moses did ? We all got to comfortable making excuses and being weak minded. I tell God everyday ( again if he even exists and can hear me ?) the truth of how I feel and see things regarding him. If there is a real God out there we need a more loving one who actually helps us.
      I am so sorry for what you have went through and are going through now Jake ! If I was God you would be healed but I am not.I am going thorugh something right now through not the same as what you are…I am still hurting everyday and ehld back in life of everything and dependant. The people I depend on treat me like I owe them everything at times for helping me when they do..and rub it in my face. I wish I could be independant from them and take care of my own self. I needed healing also when I once trusted God and depended on him. I was let down horribly and lost my only job defending God..now I cannot get another one. I have but they were only degrading jobs and very low pay and I had to live in poverty. I grew up in poverty…I learn to make due with everything. That job I had gave me a chance to do a bit better for myself and gave me something to get up everyday for. I regret standing up for God..it has been over 6-7 years now with no job. Try living on $700 a month these days…Those that are doing Ok in life or have it really good seem to beleive the most and I wonder if the fact they have it all is the reason they do !I find that most of those having hard times in life or live in poverty and without needs have no reason to beleive in God. I am one of them.

      • Very sorry to hear about your problems and troubles. I do believe in God but he has been very strict, stubborn, unwaverying and downright mean. I try to see and take a spiritual look at the world.

        My situation has been very difficult, I am only 21 btw but my challenges have been tremendous, difficult, unfair and somewhat delibrate. I see myself as being very gifted in terms of my personal gifts and financial stability but it has came at a price. That price was when someone sees someone that is talented at everything he does, seems to stand out from the rest and get a lot of attention. I don’t want to sound vain or self centered but I stand out for all the right reasons but I find myself in between a rock and a hard place. I have all the guys on one side that have it out for me then I have the girls that like me but are too shy to talk. My problem came from not having many friends, creating enemies because I excelled at a lot of things, became very closed off, suspicious and very particular with who I hang out and talked to because people would always hurt me out of name calling, isolation and discrimination. Things became very worse for me when it came to getting the support and respect of my peers in particular country that I will not name and came to a point where I was so angry, abused, stressed and out of my mind, I decided I wanted to move with my family in the USA, they live very close to one of the biggest cities there, bought a plane ticket for 1 for 2 weeks time, packed my bags and left and had to leave my immediate family (mother, father and sister.)

        Remember here that I did nothing wrong and all of this was thrusted upon me by God. For what reason? I am still unsure why I am being put to the ultimate test, in my opinion of course.

        I think life requires sacrifice, you mentioned that where is God when kids are raped, abused and murdered. I do think God is there but he cannot just step in for the case of one or even a thousang people because there are consequences. For example, it is like a drink, if you put too much of something (always intervening) or puttig too little of something (completely hands off) then the drink will be ruind and it needs a balance of all it’s different ingredients. The murder part is completely beyond me but God has set everything in motion and given everything it’s time and place. I do know for sure that kids that may be abused or raped, do end up becoming stronger people because of it, even if the act is heinous and sick, it still provides a purpose. Also the person that committed that crime or act, may have their own demons to deal with, their life may spiral out of control or just go down hill due to these problems. So a balance or comprimise has to be met.

        Also the Bible is very vague on the exact accounts of what actually happened with Jesus, Job, Joseph, Moses etc. There may be hundreds maybe thousands of other events that we have no knowledge of that may paint a completely different picture of what they went through and dealt with. When the Bible was compiled, priests and scholars a couple hundred years after Jesus’ death decided what they would include, what they would destroy or even hide in the mountains in Israel.

        I personally see God in a sense that something seems to always go wrong or change when I have had no choice or input like there is someone behind the scenes pulling the strings whereas other people may not see it because God may not be close to them for whatever reason, maybe they require no help because he has given them average challenges or people may not see him working behind the scenes. I obviously cannot speak for God but this is my observation.
        All this stuff is very difficult to explain, creates a big grey area where no knows what is happening or who is hiding between us and other people or between us and the rest of the world.

        Continuing on from my own story as soon as I moved things improved very quickly and everything slipped completely, going from harassed and disliked for having something special to being liked a respected by all my peers, co-workers, strangers and family. Something or someone was working against me when I was in the previous place and now my trials seem to be over and someone or something is working in my favor after all this time.

        I think you really need to push through, blast down every door, push against every challenge, climb every mountain, kick over every stone and block every attack getting in your way. This will build perservance, strength, stamina and hopefully a better life to come. I know this sounds cheesy but there is some truth to it.

        • Hey Jason, thanks for your comment and for sharing your story with us. It sounds to me as though God blessed you with some very special gifts. The sad truth is most people in this world do not know or follow the God of the Bible, and so instead of encouraging you and helping you develop your gifts, many of those people acted out of jealousy and tried to hurt you.

          You said, “all of this was thrusted upon me by God.” Is it not possible that all of this was thrusted on you by mean, self-centered people? And that God was right there with you helping you through the challenges?

          You also said, “as soon as I moved things improved very quickly and everything slipped completely, going from harassed and disliked for having something special to being liked a respected by all my peers, co-workers, strangers and family.” Is it possible that God made it possible for you to move? And is it possible that God brought you out of the harassment and into a group of people who encourage and help you now?

          I can’t speak to why God might have allowed you to go through such persecution, but I would ask, what did you learn from it? How have you grown as a result? Is it possible that God may be preparing you for even greater opportunities in the future that but opportunities that will bring you near other mean, self-centered people, but with the wisdom and experience to better deal with them?

          • Hi Paul, thanks for reading my comment. I do feel blessed to an extent but it comes with it’s own challenges and issues.

            My issues were caused by mean and self centered people, yes but someone had to allow it to happen. God may or may not have been with me at the time, sometimes I felt alone and other times felt protected and there was an extent of how much God would let me endure. He also did give me a way out by giving me US citizenship through my parents so in some ways, I feel it was planned the whole time which contradicts the idea of free will.

            But I choose to do the right thing and fought against those that attacked me full on. There could have been the possibility that I could have joined my oppressors in order to make them stop and I would take a completely different route to the one I am on now. The difference between those that were mean spirited and self centered and those that encourage and help me was down to the religiosity of both countries and cultures and how their societies function and operate. It is like going to two people: One person is very selfish, envious and greedy and the other is friendly, kind and happy. You ask them honestly about what they think of this car, for example and the person that drives it.

            One would probably say successful, hardworking, talented, has good taste, works more than anything else and seems like the kind of guy I would go for a drink with.

            The other would say he must be a drug dealer, stole it, works in hedge funds and gambled during the market crash and made lots of money, arrogant and unfriendly.

            This is the two comparisons I was exposed to. One group wanted to encourage, compliment and admire a person and his achievements out a noble quality or sense of good in themselves and society.

            And the other wanted to envy, hate, discredit and bring down anyone doing better or more talented out of bad manners, lack of religious teachings or anything moral. Pretty much one society leaning more towards bad and what they want to do rather than what was good for society and others.

            I learned a lot of things but it came at a price. Hopefully I will get all that I lost back in the future. I learned how to be patient, humble, caring, forgiving, less anxious and aggressive and learning to let things go. But it did come with a lot of anger, hate and for lots of nasty things to happen to those that started a war against me because I had more than them.

            Overall, I hope that my experiences help me in the future, wherever I am going and there was a purpose and reason for it. I do hope it is something a lot greater because it may give me the answers as to why I was persecuted so much. I do see God’s reasoning and why he did it but he needed to make it extreme and tough because I have a very stubborn character and strong will when it comes to what I expect and how I do things. Not in a bad way but I know what I want, what I expect from others and how things should be done that is right and fair. What I am trying to say is that I have a very strong ethical code. When someone wrongs me I want justice immediately to make up for it. I also don’t hate others as blindly as some people I need a solid reason before I say or do anything. God knew all this so he needed to really grind me down and throw me in the furnace to mold me.

            I know this all sounds very good and all yet very typical but it is true. I do believe he exists but he likes to play shadow games. One minute he is there and the next he is gone.

        • Hi.. I got your reply… Yes I believe there is a God also…but I also believe he is very mean , uncaring , unwavering most of the time etc…. The bible says for us to come reason with God ? Sure..as if he is reasonable or willing to reason with us ! What that means is we can reason if we want to but it will not get us anywhere with God…he is still doing what he wants even if its cruel and uncaring. What we feel or have to say means nothing to God !
          The God in the bible kills babies for crying out loud ! I cannot imagine punishing babies just because the adults worship other Gods etc…Should we give up on children from bad homes thinking they will never amount to anything good because of coming from bad homes ? No of course not ! So why does God kill them without giving them a chance in life ? God needs to get it….He needs to either be good or evil but not both ! If we are made in his image and he can do and does do good and evil it is no wonder why humans can do evil and good also….we are in His image ! So why does he punish us for it when we act like Him ?
          I was also wondering why everyone thinks that the garden of Eden was so perfect and beautiful ? How can it be a good or perfect paradise if God allows Satan to hang out there ? Yet God put the first man and woman in that kind of environment ! God never cares about what we think or feel…but if Satan accuses him of things…he seems to feel he has prove something or defend himself to satan ? Unfortunately we get caught in the middle of it all !
          God is of weak Character if he has to allow evil to us in order to prove things to satan all the time ! It is us who he should be concerned about…what we think of Him should matter..not what satan thinks ! This freewill thing is fake also….the way it truly is that we believe in God or we end up in hell ! That is not truthfully free will ! it is choose to believe in Jesus or else you will suffer hell ! There are many good people who will never believe in Jesus and yet they will go to hell for that ! While there are Christians who will go to heaven simply because they believe ? This is so wrong. Is God maybe just a force of some kind called God by people and not a really person as maybe then cannot do good for us anyway ? Just a thought.My life is not as bad as some have it…but it is not well or healthy either. I guess I am in my own personal prison that I cannot get out of without outside help..yet no person can help me. So is God is love why doesn’t he do what others cannot for me to help me ? I lost a good job standing up for God for the sake of being faithful to Him. I lost my job and my family and health went down hill for doing that.No person, no church or God helped me when that happened…God abandoned me after I stood up for Him !My life has been downhill ever since ! There are those who claim to have faith but would NEVER risk a job etc..for God or give up everything for God !I pretty much gave up the only things I had and I waited all my life to get them things…a good job etc…Yet he seems to bless so many other who just don’t need anymore blessings as they have them. What about people like me ? I think the whole Christianity things is fake and so is the bible. Yet we are so brainwashed by it and afraid to go against it. I guess the threat of hell scares people from thinking logically. I am not going to be scared any longer and will speak out.

        • In reply to your comment saying the you know that kids who were abused etc… become stronger ? This is not true in so many ways….You may see them talking about it to the public etc….but that does not necessarily mean they are stronger. The real truth behind the scenes is that they never really heal from it ! They suffer PTSD many times, depression
          and sometimes commit suicide in too many cases. Just because someone like Joyce Meyers seems to be strong doesn’t mean every one is. Personally I wonder if Joyce Meyers uses spending money and buying designer cloths is a cover up for what she really feels inside. Also she makes Millions of dollars off of her past abuse stories and talks .Maybe this helps her cope ? But in the majority of cases these people suffer horribly ALL their lives once abused.So if God can allow that to happen to a child he is not good as the bible claims he is !If God can part the red sea and intervene and go against the freewill of the Egyptians when they went after the Israelite and out up a wall of fire etc..to stop them…why can he not intervene to help a little , innocent , defenseless child ? He obviously does go against our freewill !
          The abuse I went through growing up in an alcoholic, abusive home and later in abusive relationships has messed me up forever ! If you can call not trusting anyone, over protecting myself and being suspicious of every ones motives everyday and having low self esteem and worth than that confuses me ! It does not make you stronger in so many ways ! God allows mountains etc..to get in my way of every good thing in my life…if I try to move them he just allows something else hurtful to attack me ! God is NOT protecting me either ! He just doesn’t want me to enjoy life or have any happiness in it as he never allows me anything !if anything makes me smile or feel joy I know it will fall apart every time….it has gotten to the point of expecting God to cause it to not work out for me in anything ! I was reading your story and I must be honest……I am sure it was tough for you in ways….but heck you were pretty darn blessed so dealing with some trouble is expected…as you cannot have it all fabulous for you all the time. You had more than most ever could have to begin with ! If you had a few problems than that is just life…also God seemed to have helped you even more to get out of that situation didn’t he ? I am one he has never helped like that ever ! I think you are blessed or just very lucky in life. I would love to be in your shoes !

          • Hi Sophia, I cannot fathom out why certain things happen to people but we have to take into account possible other elements at work that distort what is right and wrong and how it affects our lives.

            I know a lot of people that come from divorced families, have never met their father or mother, usually father and feel empty and something is missing, own father shots her mother then shots himself because she wanted to leave him and he couldn’t live with himself and so many other heinous acts and crimes. But somehow in most cases, these people pull through regardless of what happened and carry on.

            Also in regards to me, it seems like I was very blessed and in some ways, I am but it is not great by no means. First I haven’t got many friends, have to sacrifice a lot, people judge me unfairly and don’t get to know me first, co-workers act horribly towards me in many jobs and had to leave. Also money issues with being out of work between jobs because I had to leave because people were causing me too grief. So in some ways, I would rather be not blessed, just blend in to the crowd, get along with anyone and have to work to make people like me or hate me rather than people making an automatic choice as soon as they meet me.

            Nobodies life is perfect, some get one thing and they don’t get the other. Some people have lots of money but have self worth issues and have problems socializing whilst others are disabled and can’t do much on their own and need someone to help them. Each person has a certain set of situations and problems they need to deal with that is specific for them. God did his share of helping and I really don’t know why. Even after all the trouble I went through I had to stay calm, forgive those that attacked me and do the right thing as much as I didn’t want to. That is hard to go against your natural emotion and doing something selfless and kind. I do wish sometimes to be in another person’s shoes as well. Looking back I wish that I had lots of friends, had lots of opportunities to do different things and explore different routes but God had set my path and I had no choice of what happened.

            Everyone has been wronged and bullied or even abused at some point in their lives. Unfortunately, bad or unfair things happen because there has to be a balance between good and bad. For wherever there is light, darkness must exist as well. That is how our world works and we need to play by it’s rules.

            We all go through a lot of similar problems and issues to an extent but in different doses and relative to how much a person can take.

      • Hi Sophia, thank for your comment. Sounds like you are going through a difficult, frustrating time in your life. I feel blessed that you decided to vent some of your frustration here.

        I agree that it is difficult to see so many people going through so many horrible circumstances – hunger, disease, abuse, and more. I’ve been to Kenya twice where I witnessed an entire community of people living in a garbage dump, I saw people in a hospital – two to a bed – dying of AIDS, I stayed at an orphanage where I heard the horrific stories of the kids who lived there. I felt all sorts of feelings of sadness and anger and I’m not even sure what else.

        We live in a world full of evil. I think that’ something we can all agree on, right?

        And much of the evil is caused by us, human beings – rape, murder, stealing, abuse, bullying, divorce, war, malnutrition and disease (most of which is preventable), and even poverty. God has given us free will, and many people choose to use their freedom for evil.

        But isn’t it possible that God is actually at work, helping to make things much better than they would be without Him? Isn’t it possible that God is at work behind the scenes intervening in and preventing some evil plans? Maybe even half? Maybe 90%? Who is to say things might not be 10 times worse without God’s involvement?

        Before Jesus, it was common practice to leave sick and unwanted babies outside to die. But Jesus followers began taking those babies in and we have orphanages, foster care and adoption today as a result. Before Jesus, slavery was common practice. While it took centuries, it was Christians who led the efforts to end slavery in Europe and North America. Before Jesus, women were treated as property and had no rights. It was Christ-followers, believing that every person is created in the image of God who fought for and continue to fight for equal rights for women. Before Jesus, education was reserved for wealthy boys. It was churches and followers of God who began the movement that every child should receive an education.

        I’m not saying Christians haven’t screwed things up. Plenty of mistakes have been made, and lots of people who called themselves Christians have done done horrible things, sometimes even in the name of God. But I see a clear pattern of people who have been changed and empowered by God being at the forefront taking a stand against injustice and evil, and bringing compassion and healing to those who are hurting.

        What do you think?

        • I think you need to examine your belief in God. It is possible that God is making things better and that things would be far worse without God. But there is not a shred of evidence to support that belief. You can look at anything good or beautiful and say God is behind it but there is no proof to that assertion. You believe God is good and therefore when you see good you attribute it to God. Simply because the negative cannot be proven (that God did not cause this good) does not prove the positive belief. You are certainly free to believe as you wish and to invent explanations to explain events. However, one should be mindful to not confuse belief with fact. Truthful explanations may not always be satisfying but they should at least be supported by facts else the truthfulness might be falsified.

          Who’s to say that things might not be 10 times better without God’s involvement? It’s human nature to improve situations where possible. And when we see a tragic situation, it’s human nature to try to make sense of it. An explanation along the lines of “this is God’s punishment or God is testing those people” is hardly an explanation at all. Some people demand explanations that can be supported by facts. (Hurricanes are a fact of weather and they cause destruction when they make landfall. There are scientific explanations to explain the formation of hurricanes. These principles make it harder to believe a destructive hurricane was created to punish the disobedient.) For other people, they seek satisfaction by learning from the events that occurred so as to be prepared to better deal with a similar situation in the future. If you choose to believe that God created the universe that implies that God is ultimately behind everything including evil and tragedy. But again, these are beliefs, not facts.

          Trauma and suffering do not always make a person stronger. Yes, sometimes they do but look at the facts. It is certainly optimistic to think that suffering will make you stronger. It may also be said to be naive and delusional. Some tragic events haunt people for the rest of their lives. A woman who was raped may never again enjoy true intimacy with a sexual partner. A boy molested by a priest may never reach his potential as a philanthropist and instead lead the life of a lonely alcoholic.

          You state: “Before Jesus, it was common practice to leave sick and unwanted babies outside to die. But Jesus followers began taking those babies in and we have orphanages, foster care and adoption today as a result.” Really? Do you have some data to back that up? It’s almost as if you’re saying that Jesus or his early followers invented orphanages. Were there no orphanages and foster care before the time of Christ? Does the New Testament mention any orphanages created due to the teachings of Christ? Just to clarify, factual data does not exist to support your statement. You might want to believe it but there are no facts to support that belief. What society ever had the practice of leaving sick babies outside to die. Poverty, rape, teenage pregnancy, unmarried pregnancy, etc. have all been reasons for a baby to be abandoned. Throughout history, before and after the time of Jesus, a baby might be left on the doorstep of a wealthy household, abandoned in an alley or floated down a river in a reed basket. Did Jesus cause this practice to be changed? Look at history and you will see that the answer is “no.”

          While it may be said that the majority of people who fought to end slavery in Europe and the United States were Christians, so too were the slave owners and the people who supported slavery. The institution of slavery in the United States and Europe was also started by Christians. During the American Civil War, southern slave owners cited passages from the Bible to support their position. If one believes the inerrancy of the Bible, then the southern slave owners were correct. Nowhere in the Bible is slavery criticized. The Bible did lay out some rules concerning the beating of slaves and the purchasing of slaves. It even said it was okay to sell your daughters into slavery, but nowhere was slavery called an abomination nor did Jesus ever lift a finger to free even one slave.

          Equal rights for women has evolved despite Christianity not due to it. Once again you should refer to the Bible: Women should not teach (I Timothy 2:12); Women should be silent in church (I Corinthians14:34-35); Women are subservient to men (I Corinthians 11:3, Ephesians 5:22-24, Colossians 3:18). Also, you might consider, how many Apostles were women. You say, “Before Jesus, women were treated as property and had no rights.” So were women suddenly treated much better during the time of Jesus or soon after his crucifixion? The answer is a resounding “no.” The rights of women were slowly gained but what evidence have you that Jesus brought about these rights? Once again your beliefs influence you to see causality where there is none.

          When you say, “It was churches and followers of God who began the movement that every child should receive an education,” Perhaps you could cite the name of this Christian movement to educate all children? I urge you to review your history. You can choose to believe this false accreditation or you can look at the historical facts. It is easy to misinterpret history if you consider that the history of Europe and subsequently the United States was greatly influenced by Christian institutions but the reason for that influence is because these institutions had seized power in these regions and controlled most if not all activities under their rule. Until recently (the last several centuries), childhood education was for the wealthy. There were very few middle class families and children in poor families might be expected to learn a trade but this is hardly the same as being educated. The need for education became greater as society changed from agrarian to industrial. However, childhood education, particularly free childhood education, was instituted by governments not Christian groups.

          What I think (since you asked) is that it is wrong to take credit for most of the good in the world and to instill this belief in your followers when it just isn’t true. In the Christian era a great deal of human progress has been made despite objections by Christian leaders. Muslims, Jews and other non-Christians made enormous contributions to science and the humanities as well. Rather than enable progress, Christianity often stood in the way of progress. Galileo Galilei was fortunate to avoid execution at the hands of the Vatican when he discerned that the sun rather than the earth was the center of the universe.

          The brave Christian people who forwarded progress asserted their principles and discoveries in the face of punishment including torture and execution by Christian institutions. Christianity is often guilty of taking credit that it is not due and has often avoided taking responsibility for its negative actions. Despite these missteps most Christians are good, moral people. The question is: are they this way because of Christianity or despite it? People who are not Christian (Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, atheists, etc.) are also good people but too often Christian propaganda deludes people into thinking that only Christians can truly be good and moral. Facts are needed to support claims, not beliefs. Murder, rape and crimes against humanity are committed by non-Christians and Christians alike. No group can factually claim moral superiority, although many do. When a mass-murderer turns out to be a Christian, some will say, “Well, he wasn’t really a Christian.” Certainly no one wants to be associated with a group that has mass murderers as members and a mass murderer is certainly far from the Christian ideal. However, to deny the Christianity of a mass murderer who worships Jesus is to shirk responsibility for the sake of public image. Christians do not speak out directly saying they are morally superior but many often imply it though some, if not most, may not be consciously aware of this falsehood.

          • Bill….Finally someone to speak facts ! Thank you very much ! I am sick of Christians making excuses for everything…they always have some cliches to share with everyone that sound so good. But to me it is just swerving around real life facts. Most Christians I have met are as bad as everyone else..if not worse at times ! This is alot of people in all churches who are Christians. They just put on a good Christian face for everyone to see but behind the scenes are alot like everyone else. Also they claim to do so much good in the world which non Christians do equally but seem to not get credit for. Christians love to take ALL the credit for everything and then broadcast it for the world to hear about ! Tooting their own horn to get attention and new followers which mean money most of the time! One example is Joyce Meyer who even wrote in a book on how she said God spoke to her to give away a new red designer dress she had in her closet that she never worn yet but has for years hanging there ! That was very hard for her and she struggled with the thought of giving that dress away to someone.
            Can you believe it ? I was floored when I read that in her book! When did Christians start caring about expensive designer dresses ? I mean Joyce Meyers biggest problems in life is whether to buy a beach house or not. What a joke !
            While she is struggling with giving a designer dress away or purchasing a beach house.. kids are starving in the world and dying everyday ! Yet look how many followers hang on her every word !
            is this Christianity today ? YES it really is ! I am not a Christian anymore as I woke up and had questions that were never answered but excuses and blame only given. Sometimes they stuck nose in the air just because I had questions and doubts and avoided me. I guess they had nothing to back them up. These big churches and televangelists on TV make so much money it is ridiculous ! So what if they give a few bibles to others and have a few charities going on…they still pack in the money and most of it keeps them living extremely well..better than most ! They wouldn’t be in it if there was NO money to make ! The peddle the Gospel for money !is that in the scriptures ? NO it is not ! It makes me sick ! God has NEVER personally made himself known to me in any way that shows love to me…so why should I care or believe. My life is the same with or without him in it. He has never cared about me ! Why then should I care about Him and anything he has to say ? if God is real and I end up n hell as they say for not believing anymore…is this my fault ? NO….it is not !
            I need reality and real experiences to believe in something..not stories and words alone which Christianity gives. This is comparable to asking me to believe in the Easter bunny because of stories told ! Also I believe that even when they find some artifacts.. etc..they tend to mold the facts around them to their believes in God somehow as proof.They already have a story of how they see things with God and the bible the some how blend it to fit into their story of God ! They do not look at things with an open mind to see all sides.It is like they are being programmed or something.I want an open mind and I want facts and reality not stories and words alone to believe. Having faith in somethings you cannot see is ok in some instances…but not in life’s serious issues where facts are needed. I have heard of many people dying, or hurting their own children etc.. based on faith in the bible’s words. That can be very dangerous and is ! Even if God was real….how can I…a loving, caring person believe in someone like him ? I find God mean , neglecting and uncaring etc…
            He never cared for me in my whole life or I wouldn’t be as troubled as I am now. How can I love a God who ignored a child’s cry long ago to the point that their whole life is one big mess now at 49 years old….what good did it all do me ? I a one of those people who never really heal from past abuses. The strength that I got from it is that I do not trust men, people most of the time, I am depressed all the time, have no self esteem or worth anymore,and suffer in m,any other ways that meds and counselling could not make better ! All because God ignored my cries as a child !Yet should I have trust in him…NEVER ! Some Christians might say to me that things could have turned out worse if God was not there…well I would have to say to them….I wish I would have died as a child to avoid this life I had and have suffered ! Also why is God killing off all my brothers and sisters ? Imagine finding out in a 2 month period that your bother and sister both have cancer ! My brother died 1 year later…my sister’s cancer is ONLY in remission and said to come back in a few years….before them two I had one other sister and brother who died from cancer also ! This is 4 of them ! Another brother died by suicide long ago when I was young because our childhood was so bad growing up he killed himself ! I could go on but don’t need to as anyone can see God neglected all of us ! God is NOT good, NOT loving, NOT caring, NOT involved in our lives because if He really is..I HATE him for what he allowed to happen to me and my brothers and sisters ! GOD is a neglecting father in my eyes ! Jesus does NOT care at all !!!

          • Bill, thanks for the comment. I appreciate that you want to examine the facts rather than allow beliefs assumptions to prevail.

            You asked, “Who’s to say that things might not be 10 times better without God’s involvement?” Why don’t we compare the human rights records of countries where Christians are free to live out their faith vs atheist nations where Christianity has been banned – The Soviet Union, Communist China, North Korea, Iran. I’m not suggesting Christians or democratic countries that protect freedom of religion always get it right, but what does the evidence shows us happens in countries that actively oppose God’s involvement?

            If you are serious in your pursuit of facts I encourage you to read “Who Is This Man?” by John Ortberg – http://www.amazon.com/Who-This-Man-Unpredictable-Inescapable/dp/0310275946

      • I understand where u r coming from. It seems like I can’t do much of anything right even when I try…

      • he broke you so that you would stay humble and contiune to chase after him.

    • Hi Paul, I went on a search to find other opinions on this particularly stifling cliche in an effort to back up my defence with a friend who holds court with this nonsense and whose life I’ve watched become altered because of a belief that an existential force is controlling her path. She used “Everything Happens For A Reason” on me when I went through a traumatic life event and after the third or fourth time, I lost my cool.

      I retreated to a place I like to go to clear my mind and pondered why I had such a visceral reaction to her attempt to console me with this concept and why she was so offended when I disputed the idea. I’ve always lived by the maxim that everything is subject to interpretation. This reminds me to stop and consider the other persons take on it and to keep my mind open to new view points.

      So, I returned to her house, apologized for losing my cool but calmly explained that if you alter the words slightly, this cliche goes from a position of vulnerability and powerlessness to control. Low and behold, she cocked her head slightly and grinned and agreed that “Reason, can be applied to everything that happens”.

      Thank you for supporting my argument and providing support through your similar perspective.

      • Thanks for for sharing your story, Tammy. It’s great that after you lost your cool you retreated for some self-reflection. Did you get anywhere on figuring out why do you think you “had such a visceral reaction”?

        If you have a chance, I’d love to hear more about what you mean by “Reason, can be applied to everything that happens”

    • I agree wholeheartedly with your questions. People have often made that comment to me. Usually to help me view things from another prospective as if Jehovah God enjoys watching you suffer. As you stated we have free will to make good or bad decisions. A lot of things that happen in our lives indicates that we can not govern ourselves. It is obvious from the state of the world’s affairs today that we all need God’s help. For that I say, that happen for a reason.

    • P.S. It is hard not to think about ourselves, but when someone can percevier through their suffering, and comfort others who are suffering, the whole of humanity comes closer to a unified good. What’s to say what will happen when we eradicated evil from this world? We have it in us. We just have to accept we’re not here for our own happiness. Obviously we are here to endow happiness on others. It is the trajic hero who gives all of himself or herself and receives nothing in return, but it is they who are closest to happiness (most perceive this as Gd) after death.

    • Dear Jake,

      The truth is there is really no good coming out (at least not for the wounded person) from any kind of physical, functional, bodily, etc. Injuries, Wounds, and Torments, especially from Merciless and Inhumane Physical Incidents—that Directly and Consequently CAUSED and CREATED by the Harmful, Destructive, “Un-Pure,” Intrusive, Invasive, and Oppressive Actions of others. Nevertheless, the Merciless and Inhumane harms, wounds, torments, etc. Inflicted upon the wounded person? Could and Would be an Eye, Ear, Mind, Heart, and Soul Opener for many or for Humanity if you simply allow yourself to Dig in and Dive in Deep into your Heart and Soul! So, the wounded person resembles a Benefactor or Hero to Humanity through the work of the Sacred Universe and God!

      –Doc Amy

    • Jake, this was an outstanding post. As a practical matter, it’s very apparent to me that God simply doesn’t intervene enough in our lives, and that that lowers our quality of life enough that the Rapture is the best–and only–answer. What I’ve concluded is that God allows life to be bad enough that nothing will satisfy me but the Rapture. And, the longer He takes to call it, the longer we suffer and struggle. It’s as simple as that. Thank-you for your honest post. I know that I’m only a puny mortal, but I feel that I have no choice but to call God on allowing life to be this bad. If this truly is the best He can/will do, then I believe the Rapture is in order.

      • Moanalua, thanks for your comment. That’s an interesting perspective. I partially agree with you in that we are flawed beings living in a flawed world, and that the next life with God will be perfect and we will be made perfect. However, I don’t think our only options is to hold out hope for the Rapture.

        God invites us to do this life with him too. Jesus said, “The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.” And “I have come so that they may have life, and may have it abundantly.”

        God created us with a need for Him, and we are miserable (or self-deceived) without him. So our best option is to call out to him and receive him. And fortunately we don’t have to for death, rapture or Jesus return for our prayers to be answered. We can experience peace, joy and the abundant life through God in this life if we choose Him and his ways.

  3. This is one quote I am tired of hearing. I get it all the time,especially from family members & others who have no clue on what it`s like to lose a child. I even told one of my sisters “What is the reason for my child to die & not one of yours? when she told me that. Of course there is no answer to that. Those kids drive like hell & my Becky was super cautious. It was a freak accident & took one of the most beautiful people I have ever known.
    I am sick and tired of hearing that and other comments that people make..doesn`t anyone ever think before they speak???

    • Hi Joan, I’m really sorry that you lost your daughter in an accident. Having 3 kids of my own, I can’t imagine…

      I don’t think people mean any harm when they say it, but most people feel like they have to say something. It’s unfortunate that this cliche as become the thing to say when you don’t know what else to say.

      It is really tough to think before you speak when faced with something like this, so IMO the best course of action is to take some time now to think about what you would like to say the next time you speak to someone who is going through a tragedy or really difficult time.

      Some suggestions… My heart breaks for you… This sucks. I love you too much to try to cheer you up right. It’s ok to grieve and I’ll grieve with you… God is close to the brokenhearted… Instead of “call me if you need anything,” would it be ok if I called you tomorrow or in a few days?

      • I know it`s hard to find the right words to say to someone is grieving. For me & a lot of Angel Moms I know the best thing someone can do is sit with us, listen and let us talk about our loved one. Our biggest fear is that she will be forgotten & the best thing of all is hugs….you can never have enough of them.
        Thanks for your response. After 9 1/2 years it still feels like yesterday. She was my youngest child & my only daughter ( I have 4 boys too).
        I do need to stop and realize that some people are at a loss for words & overlook what they say. I guess I`m getting better at it. I can only take so much though.
        thanks again….

        • Sorry to hear about your daughter. I can’t truly empathize with you because I haven’t lost someone close to me but I can try to understand what you are going through.

          I think the phrase: ‘Everything happens for a reason’ means things do happen but not always for good, what is just and fair. You have to remember that other people do lose love ones out of no fault of their own through natural disasters, school/theater shootings or senseless violence from complete strangers.

          I do believe that evil does play a part in our world whether it be selfishness, greed, lack of compassion and hardheartedness. Obviously, the reason/s why your daughter was taken away from you are unknown but unfortunately, these circumstances are a part of life, other people do make choices that do in part suffering on others whether innocent or not and we have to accept this. The death of your daughter should rest of the conscience of the one that is responsible anyway.

          I personally don’t think God is responsible for this directly but evil and suffering does come as part of a package deal with his creation. As much as there is good, evil will still be following behind it.

          I hope this helps and just remember the good times you had with your daughter and take it a step at a time.

          • Thanks for all the feedback.
            I really don`t want to get into the specifics of her accident now but no one was faulted.
            When I hear about all the shootings and stuff going on I fall apart just knowing that all these families are just starting out on this horrific journey. I have to say since Beckys death, I look at life in a totally different way. I never blamed God for it. I truly believe that her work on earth was done and God called her back home. She made a big impact on a lot of lives in her short time here. I still cry every day, but I also remember the good times & cherish every day I had with her. The biggest help is the memorial website I made for her. Still have lots to do on it but somehow it makes me feel close to her again.
            Maybe if the saying was “Some things happen for a reason” it wouldn`t bother me so much.
            Thanks again…

        • Hi Joan,
          Gary Coxe wrote a great book that helps understand that people do this, “don’t think before they speak”to tragedy or loss, and, say things which are well-intended but only may be okay in some time but not just then. It is a great book and the cliche of the title may sound sort of 12 step-like but it doesn’t delve into those subjects. Great read and my condolences on your loss and for the very little these words mean from a stranger-I apologize, These words are all I strive to ever say to the loss of earthly life. I love your perseverance of living through this and searching. If I may, Please continue to feel connected by the love of your maker…this IS the meaning. As it was in the beginning and always will be. I am sorry. (-: and a huge hug
          Recommend “Don’t Let Others Rent Space in Your Head.” by Gary COxe
          Oprah did a great special(not an Oprah guy) but first you must heal and the tears will continue to put out her candle in heaven she and the other children will walk with the Son when you ARE ready. I join Jason to say that You are loved, far and near, and unceasingly by your Becky.

  4. Jesus warns us about Satan…. “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.” (John 10:10-11)

    Listen! God gives you great things then the Devil come and steal it from you! I am a very spiritual person, not perfect!

    Good things happen to me all my life! Then right after, something bad happens and take it away. My children were taken, my money taken, 100,000+, entire wardrobes stolen, house broken into, you name it!


    He gave me those children, those large amounts of money, that house, those clothes, my happiness, my gift of giving, and he know my heart better than anyone else. I am always happy and giving everything I can to others. But for some reason all the good is taken away from me. It always, almost happen immediately. God will bless me with something, immediately it is taken away.


    I start a business and it is doing well, I worked hard to get to this point, Then here comes a hacker to hack my website and steal the money. Now my name is ruined and everything that I worked hard for including all the funds is now gone. So now I cry! and pray and ask God why. I feel sad for a few days saying to myself, why is this always happening to me.

    Hey, do you know that if a hacker hacks your website and steal the funds from your site and or bank account. That is called stealing!

    So now do I want to kill the hacker? yeah , a little bit at first. But now I forgive him and get over it!

    I go shopping and buy a bunch of new clothes, really love the new clothes, they fit me really well and now I have my favorite pair of jeans that look great on me. Something went right again and I am happy. Now, my cousin come over one day who I haven’t seen in months. She stay for a while chat, laugh, and relax. She go home later that night. I go up to my room to get settled in and see that the jeans are missing. My favorite new jeans that I was just so happy about. Out of 25 pairs of jeans, THOSE WENT MISSING!

    Yeah my cousin stole my jeans! So now do I love her anymore, do I like her? Yeah I do! but she darn make it hard now!

    So now we know that in these events, satan is using other people to steal, kill, and destroy what is yours!

    That accident was caused by somebody or something! To steal your love, it wants you to hate and be bitter. You must have forgiveness in your heart EVEN FOR YOURSELF!

    Jesus warns us about Satan…. “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.” (John 10:10-11)

    Satan (the thief) works in a very specific way. He has a set plan–and he works it very effectively. If we look thoughtfully, I believe we will see his wicked plans at work all around us.

    His first tactic is to steal. What would he like to steal? Anything and everything that will lead you to Jesus–to Gods love. Satan steals love from people. If we will open our eyes we will see it everywhere around us. Broken families, abuse, hatred, cruelty, murder. The Enemy would like us to think that there is no love in the world. He would like to steal from us even the ability to love and be loved. There are so many hurting people in the world. So many who don’t understand how to give or receive love. The devil will make you feel worthless as a human being–undeserving of love–incapable of receiving love. Why? For one reason–to separate us from God–after all, “God is love…”

    “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” (1John 4:8) “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”(1John 4:16)

    If the devil can incapacitate someone’s love–they won’t be able to know God….”He that loveth not knoweth not God;”

    We can’t know God unless we know and believe love–so if Satan can steal our love–or our ability to feel love, we won’t be able to receive God, since God is love. The devil sets up abuse in our lives–he sets up pain, loneliness, rejection, abandonment. He has a multitude of ways that he will abuse us–but all with one goal in mind–to separate us from our ability to love and receive love–and therefore receive God. Every one of us has a broken heart. But there is someone who came to heal the broken hearted! To show us a greater love…..

    “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

    “In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1John 4:9-10)

    Jesus is the manifestation of God’s love. He is the way to be healed. Jesus can heal our heart–restore our love. Jesus can give us back everything the devil has stolen. Listen. The biggest lie that the devil will tell you is that you suffered alone. This is not true! No matter where you were, no matter what happened to you. No matter how difficult things were. No matter how painful or lonely it was. No matter how great the abuse, the abandonment, the fear, or the violence was. No matter…… YOU WERE NOT ALONE! Jesus was with you! He stood with you, He suffered with you! He was touched with the feeling of your difficulties..the feeling–He knows what you went through because He felt it Himself–for you and with you….

    “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15)

    He was in all points tempted like as we are…The Greek word in this instance is one of the few times in scripture where the word all literally means to all people individually–that means everyone! Jesus is touched with the feelings of all the difficulties of all people–individually!! This means you! He was there specifically for you and with you at every place where you were hurt. He saw it–He felt it–He cried for His creation–But He took it to the cross for one reason–to heal it! Allow Jesus to restore your love–to restore your joy–to restore to you everything that the thief has stolen from you.

    Jesus loves you.

    • Thank you K Collins. This was exactly what I was supposed to read tonight. God bless you.

    • This stuff about Satan you speak of….well I am sure he has much to do with some bad in the world if he exists. But Satan is not the reason I do not trust of believe God anymore ! God HIMSELF has clearly shown me personally in too many ways that HE abandons, does not care, plays favorites, is mean,is not trustful, has nothing but words to offer and empty promises,turns his back on you when you trust in him and so much more. What does satan have to do with that ? Nothing at all ! Christians can pass the buck and blame satan for everything and they always do ! But God needs to take responsibility for his actions or lack of most of the time ! Who is worse…the person doing the bad things…or the one who sits watches while it happens and does nothing at all ? I would say BOTH are bad ! God himself does the same things he commands us not to do all the time and this is being a hypocrite but then expects us to do better ? Very confusing ! He is supposed to be our example isn’t he ? As far as I can see people act just like him..in his image as they say ! Yet satan get the blame all the time for everything bad !Now I do not like satan or anything…but I have no more trust in God as he has abandon me so many times when I loved him and was willing to give up what little I had for him. He never helped me at all and my life was traumatic and horrible !I will jot go on about how God left me as there is way too many things to mention here. But I could never put trust in Him ever again ! This is if he even exists ? Most people talk about how God helped them through tough times etc…death in the family etc…Well everyone goes through that stuff in life !I am talking about people who have to go through constant bad things over and over with no relief no hope for anything better..things that are not usual life happenings.God should never have treated me that way he has, never have neglected me the way he has or abandoned me the way he always has. That was wrong on his part !
      Now am I to end up in hell because I cannot trust God or believe in him anymore ? That is just what I am talking about….cruel treatment by God ! God has himself caused me not to be able to trust him anymore or feel love for him anymore ! I do not feel safe with God ! This is sad when he talks about His so called love all the time to us ! That is not love for God to treat me.. who trusted and believed in him. I lost my job over standing u for God.. I lost friends and been laughed at and so much more. Now I have NOTHING left and God has even abandoned me and now neglects me everyday of my life ! My sister was so horrible to me when I was young and even when I was a first time mom with a small baby. I let my sister move into a house I rented off my parents. I had a 3 month old son who was sick often and often hospitalized. I was alone with a baby to care for at a young age. My sister was nasty to me and one day I came home with my baby to find my cloths and furniture and baby things out on the front lawn ! She threw me out of my own home baby things and all ! Not only this she ripped up all my flowers I planted outside and threw them all over. My baby and I had to go back to the cheating , abusive man who fathered my son as we had no where else to go. I had to take my baby to a home where there was pornography playing the the house most of the time, drugs etc… I hid in a bedroom with locked door at this him to stay away from it..crying and wondering what I was going to do or where I would go with my son. This very sister has done some other horrible things to me also. Now year later all of the sudden she is a Christian preaching to me about God ! Go figure ! Trying to redeem herself to me with all the money and good life God blessed her with ! Trying to give me charity !Why did God bless her and not me ? Why is he still, blessing her and not me ? Why when she was evil he blessed her and now she is a Christian she is still blessed ?
      Why do I have to need charity from someone who abused me rather then God just bless me directly ? I do not want my sisters charity so that she can feel above me all the time as she always thought she was ! Maybe if God started blessing me also I might be a better person instead of hurt and depressed and hopeless !In fact I know I would not be those things..and I would never treat someone like my sister treated me.. ever ! My sister should believe in God after all she has been blessed with ! But I have NO reason to believe in Him !
      Nothing will ever be ok between me and my sister until things are equal between us and God blessed me the same as he has to her. She will NEVER be able to redeem what she she has done to me until
      then ! God is either NOT good or NOT real. it is one or the other !

  5. By saying everything happens for a reason is to say you have no free will, and we know that’s not true. I had many tragedies during my childhood and I continued to pray and hope and believe there was a reason. There wasn’t. Today I believe that love for others and doing the right thing is my God.

  6. I dont thing everything happens for a reason.
    why i say that:If everything happens for a reason why do people die? And if everything happens for a reason what is the reason why i never met my great grandfather?

    • Hie! I don’t have any answer to your question, but I believe in the following –

      Everything has a reason behind it and there can be three situationz :
      1# Where you’ve the reason. (and you say it)
      2# Where the reason cannot be expressed in wordz.
      3# Where you can’t tell the reason to anyone. (maybe you don’t want to tell it)

      Hope it helpz. Regardz!

  7. I agree with you. There is sin in the world. Sometimes we are perpetrators of it and sometimes we’re victims of it. People choose actions that are sinful or Godly… If someone has been sexually abused there is no reason behind that. God does not put people in horrible positions… People put people in horrible positions and that includes some of our own choices. To say that God plans for someone to be abused would make Him a co conspirator in a crime, and thus a sinner. God is incapable of sin. Thank you for posting this. I can’t believe how many times I’ve told my own horrific story only to be shut down with callous comments suggesting God had something to do with the evil that was committed against me.

    • Cara, thanks for your comment. That sums it up nicely. I’m glad to hear you understand God is not to blame for the evil things you’ve endured, and I hope you’re experiencing His grace and power in overcoming them. 🙂

    • God might not set up bad things to happen but he does nothing to stop it ! He intervened against the free will of the Egyptians coming after the Israelite’s ! He went against free will then to stop something ! He even parted the Red Sea ! if God can go against free will then to stop something horrific from happening why not today ? Are innocent children being raped not worthy of his help to stop it ? Is the bible full of made up fantasy stories about n a so called God ? God does go against our free will and the bible tells stories of when he has ! But yet today does NOTHING to stop things ? It seems like all Jesus wanted was power over everything and a throne and worship. Well he seems to have gotten this now but care very little about people like me now that he has power over everything etc… When one person gets too much power it can go to their heads and it gets abused or neglected most of the time ! That is a fact of life ! If Jesus died for me because he so called loved me so much why is my life on earth not worth much to him now ?

      • Dear Sophia,

        I just read all your comments today. It’s the beginning of 2017. I’m wondering how you and your son are and what is going on in your life now. I understand your pain and have been in many of those places. I still believe in Jesus Christ but I’m a little confused about many of the things I see and the wrong and cruel things that have happened to me and others like you relate to who God is and what the bible promises. Anyway, If you get this please let me know how you are. I do agree your sister shouldn’t try to ease her conscience by trying to throw money at you and preach to you. Especially the preaching at you. It’s like pouring salt in an open wound when these thoughtless people do that. She should repay you for the things she destroyed, but not treat you like a charity case to feel better about herself or boast.

  8. I stumbled upon this site and I love a great discussion with someone who doesn’t believe what I do, but can actually back it up. That being said, I do believe that every single thing happens for a reason. It rains so your son can’t play baseball that day, you end up hanging out with him at home and doing something that means more to him. I just feel that it all balances out. Even in disaster and turmoil, it may take years to see the clear picture, if ever, but it’s there. And I must say that though I am not a religious person, I am a spiritual one. And I’ve actually sat and thought about my life in particular to where I can tell you why everything happened as it did. At least in my head.

  9. Sorry Bradly, but I respectfully disagree. I believe beautiful things can come out of sinful acts when we allow God in it, and there are times when things happen for a reason. But tragic events that leave people in pain, no. But, as I said earlier, God can bring beautiful things out of that pain that never would have occurred otherwise if we allow him to. In the case of the kids game getting rained out… The parent(s) could have just stuck the kid in front of the tv all day. They’re choice to spend time with him and create lasting memories is a beauty that came out of a bad circumstance.

  10. I have never heard such twaddle and condisending bull in my whole life. I am 53 years old and yes suffered sexual abuse at home and bullying at school, which incidentally was a catholic convent run by jesuit priests and nuns. They humiliated me, because even though I was intelligent enough to pass my entrance exam and 11 plus, once in their clutches my confidence was crushed.

    I have only known one man, my husband and I have been married 34 years. My second child was born with a severe disability and we have had the anguish of seeing her pain and she has endured years of operations.

    We were poor because all my time was taken up with her care and my husband lost his job. It was the 80’s and mass unemployment. He retrained and became a skilled man working for small businesses who did not pay much.

    I suffered a post partum depression which was not diagnosed and which to this day still suffer the after affects. By the way, my post partum depression manifested itself with thoughts that the end of the world was coming. Something my deeply religious, heavy drinking father had instilled in me, because events of that time had been predicted by our Lady at Fatima.

    As the years went by, I struggled. When my daughter spent time in hospital there were some nights I would leave my daughter late at night in her hospital bed. I then walked the 7 miles home because I had no help from my family and could not afford bus fares home. My husband left at home to look after our other children.

    Major things also happend which have greatly affected our lives. Too numerous to go into, but believe me with each major incident, life as I knew it had to change, but for the worse.

    I kept up with my catholic duties, which was a struggle because with my depression as I believed that god was talking to me through the priest and the fear of attending mass every sunday nearly killed me.

    When I was 38, my daughter 19 years old, I applied for and got my dream job. It was only office work, but we had another income and I looked forward to meeting other women and hopefully for the first time in my life, finding a female friend. I yearned to do girlie things, being a carer for my gran from the age of 10 to 16 years old, I had not had a childhood. For six months I was extremely happy, then my father died on my mothers 70th birthday. She was in ill health and I have looked after her for 14 years now. Every weekend I pick her up and take her to church on a sunday. I cry inside with rage that I am still not free to do what I want when I want.

    In 2004 my first grandchild was stillborn at full term and his mother died in the first month of 2005. I too suffered health problems that year and was investigated for cancer. In novemeber of the same year I lost the job I loved. It broke my heart and I still grieve for that loss today.

    The following years brought more heartache over things that happend to my children and the loss of another grandchild. My husband had to take a major cut in his wages to prevent losing his job.

    Fiancially we struggled again and I had to take a job which meant travelling 25 miles away from home. Penalised again because the costs of the petrol crippled me. At the same time we had to move to get away from the most appalling neighbours who were bullying my daughter. This move caused another financial strain because house prices had increased.

    Over the years both my husband and I have reached landmark birthdays and anniversaries. Have we been able to celebrate, have we heck.

    in 2010 my husband lost his job. He did find another one 6 months later, but the wage was considerably less. I became the main bread winner. He was made redundant in september 2012.

    He is now temping for an agency on even less pay. He is a skilled man and is labouring in a factory and the hours to not corrolate with the hours I work and so I hardly see him.

    I come home every evening and troll websites filling in applications and sending cv’s. Oh yes i have prayed for Jesus’ intercession and hope builds with each interview only the answer is always no.

    We are both in our 50’s and my job is under threat. I will find out this october if my job is safe or not.

    I enter the last quarter of my life with my youth behind me. All my hopes and aspirations gone. Times which should have been special gone, never to be seen again.

    Yes, I am grateful for my lovely sons and my daughter and off course my husband. I do see the beauty in this, but I also see other people having the same beautiful families which they are grateful for, but whose lives have not been marred by the events we have endured as a family.

    So, to sum it all up. Life does suck, more for some and not for others. There have not been any good reasons for the things that have happend and no silver lining. My conclusion is that I have been unlucky. I have not sort these problems, they happend, but through it all I did not feel close to god, he was not listening. With each prayer that went unanswered and with each hope I ever had, diminished. God played no part because he does not exist.

    I do not condemn people for their beliefs because ultimately, the reason people do believe is so that they are scared of dying and having a belief in god gives them a belief in an afterlife.

    Yes, we have a choice to forgive others for any wrong they ahve done because it is better than feeling hate. It is also comforting to live a life a set down in the scriptures. However, please do not be patronising to people like me who are intelligent and no longer brain washed.

    I am a simple soul with a good heart. I still have no girlfriends, but am well liked, but only as a caring person. No one wants to see me as a friend.

    I cannot embrace life, my journey is coming to a final phase and you are right there are no reasons for so much heartache.

    • Cecilia, thanks for your comment. Sounds like you have been through some difficult times in your life, but your view that “life sucks” is really a matter of perspective and expectations.

      My question for you is, what are you thankful for?

      You’ve been given 53 years so far on this earth, that’s more than most people. You’re married, while many are single, divorced or widowed. How many children and grandchildren do you have? There are many people who are unable to have children. You’re job is “under threat” but there are millions who have no job at all.

      I’m not saying life is all butterflies and rainbow and I’m not dismissing the hardships that you’ve faced, but as I just tweeted yesterday, “It’s not happy people who are thankful. It’s thankful people who are happy.”

      I know to the core of my being that God created you as a beautifully unique person for a beautifully unique purpose. And the fact that you’re still breathing means God still has a purpose for you here on earth.

      Cecilia, God still loves you and wants to do the rest of this life with you. He’s inviting you to let go of bitterness and embrace the healing and hope He offers. It’s your choice.

      • Do you realize that people like yourself who do and say things like this to others like Cecelia is more damaging then good ! Christians have done so much damage to people in so many ways by what you have just said to this woman ! Your cliches mean NOTHING….they are just feel good messages that work for some but not all. You just made it look like this woman has not suffered all that much and should be more grateful ! I am disgusted when I see this kind of talk ! Let go of bitterness and embrace healing ? Om gosh ! Wow ! You obviously have no clue when this woman was sharing ! healing comes when things change in life for the better and you can begin the healing…it is hard to heal while still being wounded ! She has ever right and reason to feel bitter and these are NORMAL HUMAN emotions and there is NOTHING wrong with them ! I used to have respect for you even though we differ in believe in God..but now I have lost that respect.How can something NOT real invite anyone ?
        Choice ? This lady hasn’t been given much of that by God !What choice was she given ? Real Bad over even more bad ? This woman lived 53 years of something you would NEVER want to experience yourself ! Yet you speak as if she should be grateful for 53 years of trauma ! Your head is in the clouds or you been drinking too much happy water ! You said :
        “It’s not happy people who are thankful. It’s thankful people who are happy.”
        Sorry but in the REAL world people are not happy and cannot be when they are traumatized over and over in life ! Those so called happy people who are so thankful have it ok in life and they are not traumatized day and night by horrible circumstances that never let them rest. You also say that the fact she is still living means God still has a purpose for her ? What is that…alot more suffering ? You people who seems to mean well.. who do and say stuff like this.. do not realize how much more damage people you do ! You are belittling this woman and minimizing what she shared..you are trying to make her think of and feel guilty for how she feels not believing in God and being so distraught by life ..even if you think you are not doing that..you are ! I am proud of her for speaking out the truth even if it is NOT your version of truth !

        • @Sophia and Cecilia~May I ask you both, what do you believe then? I have a similar story to Cecilia and believe in God. This is not saying anything against either of you but I feel I am missing something. You both sound hurt, God bless you both, I can understand why you feel the way you do but it doesn’t make sense to me.

          I remember holding my daughter after I had her and I remember my husband and Grandmother and my husband’s dad holding her. I know the Lord when I see His Presence. Blessings. <3

        • Sophia, I will choose hope over bitterness every day. If you want to choose bitterness over hope, that’s your choice, but please don’t encourage others to join you in that.

      • Wow! I can’t believe that was your response to another poster! What BS!! And for your information… the average lifespan today is 73, not 53, so 53 is not more than MOST people live!!!! I’m actually older than the other poster, and lived a loooonggg life in pain, allowed by God, with unfilled dreams of children, grandchildren etc. I could go on and on, all the trials…severe trials since childhood I’ve have like others, while still loving and trusting in God, but what for? For people like you, who obviously have not gone through or lost as much as others, and then have a comeback statement you did. IT IS EASY TO LOVE GOD, WHEN ALL IS WELL IN YOUR WORLD! Trust me, most western American christians will fall away from the faith, once the global and American currency collapses and they have to watch their children starve! I also understand the story of Job as well, but what a cruel God to kill off Jobs wife and kids than REPLACE THEM LATER!?! Like human beings can simply be replaced, and as though Job had no love or feelings for his first wife and kids? Geezus! And for what, for God to prove to satan, that Job loved God?!!! WTF!??? Nice God, eh?! Sounds more to me, like God cares less about His human creation, and more about an ongoing competition with satan, and who will win it.

        • >>IT IS EASY TO LOVE GOD, WHEN ALL IS WELL IN YOUR WORLD! Trust me, most western American christians will fall away from the faith, once… they have to watch their children starve!

          I agree. It is much easier to trust God when He gives us what we want. The ultimate test of faith is when God doesn’t give us what we want will. Do we resent God and think we know more about how to run the universe than He because we don’t understand what He’s doing? Or do we choose to believe that He loves us and maybe his plans for us are better than the plans we dreamed up for ourselves.

    • Hi Cecilia ! I read your whole story and I am so sorry for what you have had to go through and are still going through. I too can relate to your story and all you went through in many ways. I have prayed also so many times and had faith in God only to find out there was no God at all.
      I also believe as you say that people are just afraid to die and need something to comfort them so they believe in anything…as with God for this. Your perceptive on things is accurate and anything some Christian would say other wise is ridiculous. I am sure you will get replies telling you to find things that you are thankful for…or that you need to change your perceptive on things etc…Be strong and strand up for real facts when they do that to you !
      They will try subtly to make you think that you maybe are being ungrateful for things good in your life…but please do not fall for this. You have suffered so much all ready and I am sure you are grateful for the good in your life. But what these people do not know is that when all is bad all the time and never gives you a break in life there is no energy left to focus on good in life when there is so little most of the time.It is like grasping at straws all the time and coming up empty. I know this personally ! God should NEVER leave us in situations like that EVER if he loves really us ! Therefor I do not think he is real anymore because he doesn’t care at all ! I think life is all about luck and some of us have non at all like myself ! When I stopped being brainwashed by Christians and the bible stuff I was set free in so many way ! Life is not better now but at least I do not have to be brainwashed anymore and can think for myself. I least now I do not have to feel the pain of abandonment by a God who said he loved me and cared but really doesn’t ! All those people that will, preach to you about gratefulness to God for any good etc…have also had problems in life and they will tell their stories of How God helped them through it all . BUT they never had bad coming at them consistently with no relief in sight now or ever ! They do NOT know what it is like ! They will also give you sound good cliches ! We do not need cliches or people telling us to be more grateful etc.. what we needed was for God to help us tangibly as he does for all his favorites ! I am so proud of you for writing you comment and standing up and speaking out ! Thank you very much !

  11. Just wanted to say great question and great follow-up in the comments to readers’ comments. Very insightful post.

  12. I came up on this site When I want to know what people say Everything happens for a reason I like to Thank you all Cause I got something out of everything you all said I’ve been going through for the past couple of months you all made me realize and no matter what just trust in believe the at my church I spoke on my circumstances when not to beat my destiny cause my commitment is beyond my circumstances born with tumor on her brain and on her face and if they tried to remove them it can cause blindness loss of hearing paralyzed her rights side her face she get picked on every day in school I’m just going to let John know she inspires me cause I have a tumor thats big and I can’t wear normal shoes because the the on my foot see I can have surgery and have some of it move out for me but again if my cell phone what about my baby they can’t have it off of her so I sit back and wonder why sometimes then I’ll begin to think What the devil meant for bad God meant for good see we get to understand that the world has been evils since Lucifer got kicked out of heaven then if we go in the Bible job lost everything and still trust in believe in God you are really opened my eyes but if I keep my mind stayed on Jesus that he will prevail Nomad if is here on earth when he come back because he died on the cross take everything with you so we can help life and have it more abundantly Jesus with the ultimate pain he was all ultimate sacrifice I’ll keep you all in my prayers that God will heal the brokenhearted heal the sick open up our hearts again that we can see that long as we on this earth things are going to happen but is up to us how we receive it and look at it because when God created Us he didn’t make no mistakes I pray for the one that lost love ones God remove grieve from the life touch me Lord in Jesus name I Pray amen

  13. Hay this my again I miss Up on some of the word I was talking About my baby girl just Trust and believe in God

  14. I read your article, and I think it is interesting. One thing I can’t help but thinking though, is that, when you drop that hammer on your toe, how do you react? It is possible that this event could be a test of your fortitude, or your patience. When the hammer hits the toe, do you yell out and curse? Do you feel bad for yourself? Do you forget for a moment that your pain may be modest compared to someone else’s?

    I’m not positive if everything happens for a reason or not. Like you, I understand that I can not possibly know! But just thought you might enjoy this perspective.

    • Hi Jacob, I firmly believe the old adage that 10% of life is what happens to you and 90% is how you respond to it. In that sense, everything is a test regardless of whether the circumstances were created specifically for that reason.

  15. Gosh. It was the title of this post that caught my attention, but I can see that it quickly became a discussion on the meaning of suffering. I can’t really speak to anyone’s situation or experiences but my own, but I would like to inject my own perspective if I may.

    Without going into a terrible lot of detail, I have been through some pretty horrific things in life. I’m not going to say that I have not struggled with bitterness and anger toward God, because that would be a lie. However, I have learned two huge truths that have sustained me, and I believe them with all my heart.

    First of all, I believe that God does not cause the horrible things that happen to us. Whether it is a result of your personal sin, someone else’s personal sin, or just original sin and the fallen state of creation, it is sin that causes pain–not God. Yes, He can control things, but in order for Him to keep us from all pain, He would have to take away EVERYONE’s free will, and that is simply something that He does not do.

    Secondly, God can and does use bad events and makes beauty out of our ashes. We will all go through pain, some more than others. However, if we learn to take our hurts to the cross, He can use them for good in our lives and in the lives of others. I think it is a shame to allow my suffering to be for nothing because I choose to be bitter. At least I can have meaning from it if I let God redeem my pain.

    I have written two blog posts of my own about my perspective on suffering. I will post them, Paul, if you don’t mind. I wanted to ask your permission before doing so, though. 🙂

  16. I agree with you that everything does not happen for a reason to mean that God created us to be little automitons doing whatever he has programmed us to do….that would eliminate free will. As you say in reading the bible, you have to see the free choice God gives us throughout…from choosing Christ to Adam and Eve in Garden. I also appreciate the comments regarding young people’s deaths, particularly newborns. The bible tells us we are in a spiritual war, those deaths can and I believe sometimes are a result of that warfare. God doesn’t take what he has just given you. I do believe it’s reasonable and understandable to get down as Cecilia has after having such a difficult life. Your statements about “looking at the good things” are great, however it sometimes can only be subsided when individuals go to Christ to rid them of the pain and unforgiveness(even of themselves). You are doing a good work. I’m glad I saw this article.

  17. God confuses me…. everyone has a different love language as they say.I grew up in an alcoholic and abusive home all my life ! I was told I was a retard and ugly and that I would never amount to anything in life by my mother… it started probably when I was very young.For me to believe someone loves me and cares for me would take actions and not words.
    I sit here everyday hoping something amazing will finally happen to me that will give me a life and some happiness for once. I am 49 and tired to the point of giving up.Even feel hopeless about any future worth being here for.I cannot bring myself to feel love for God anymore. I just gave up on Him. People need a break in life sometimes…or they do break !
    I watch my sister who has always been blessed even when she wasn’t a real Christian and sinning…but God always made sure things worked out for her. As for me nothing works out and it is like someone hates me up there ! I was a Christian and would have did many thing for God just out of love for Him and for what he did for me…but when I did everything fell apart..my whole life and bad things happen to me. I walked away and went back to my old life style for awhile.Hated that and so I stayed alone and quiet in life for years after.I am tired of this so called Journey in life ! The time is now for God to act in my favor and give me a chance to have a bit of joy and a life with promise.
    Wait too long I might not be here.
    Also I am so turned off by churches now and I could never bring myself to go to one ever again.I found being in church messed me up more than thinking for myself.I do better way from
    it !I am a good person and try to do right…It is not like I don’t care about others or try to be selfish…I am not perfect that is for sure. I am human. But I see people who do wrong all the time or don’t even try to be good and they have a good life.Is it wrong for me to want love in my life, a good job, healing for the scars from abuses I have suffered and money to provide decent healthy food for myself ? I do not have these things and never have ! It has always been a struggle for me. I have no more self esteem left.
    I feel as low as one can go !
    Doors just have to open for me… I am at a point in life where I know I will not repeat past mistakes as I have grown alot and I AM READY. I wait for something good to happen because I cannot make it happen myself anymore…nothing left to try. if I get that chance I really want to make it happen this time… I am older now and ready. I am not sure I can love God….all I hear are words but no actions that would make any difference for me. I need that so much.How can a person believe if they have never seen or experienced him in their life in ways they get ? When he makes himself known to me in ways that connect with me in my heart and my
    soul and I see my life matters I will believe…but until then why should I and how could I ? You believe but as you have mentioned you have experienced and seen things that encourage your faith on Him.

    • Hi Sophia, it is impossibly difficult to understand why certain things happen to certain people.

      Sorry to hear about your hard times with your family and finding your sister seems to be favored more than you. And always trying to do the right thing but fond that those that did bad always won. Pretty much the story of my life really but those that get instant reward for doing wrong eventually find everything catching up with them.

      Those that commit sin and evil are always selfish and get the financial and emotional boost in the short run but once they realize that their lives are actually empty and have no real friends or partners, their own life is a curse. I don’t envy those that seem to get away with things because they gain the shallow rewards in life and never learn from their mistakes.

      I have also given up on churches and find most are posers and fakes. Use it as a social club where they can like immature, flawed and arrogant people. I find it is hard to find a good group of kind, moral and decent people that are not trying to keep up with the jones.

      I try to take everything day by day and always tell myself whatever happens, happens and can do nothing about it. I also don’t it is valid to make life for life comparisons between people because of it’s complexity an. its purpose for them.

      I would like to explain and talk about more but I can only speculate and comment on my own life. Few words of advice, just stay calm and be patient. Sometimes we have a habit of over-exaggerating something when it is not that bad. Also you cannot interfere with other people’s decisions, if they choose to cause hell for others you may feel hurt but this is one of the many gripes i have with this world.

  18. I agree that not everything happens for a reason. God gives all things meaning, when it has meaning. That has been my experience. Thank you for sharing. God bless. 🙂

  19. well it is certainly very hard for me as a single man that hates so very much to be alone and not having a love life like God gave so many very blessed men and women that were very fortunate to have met one another and have a family just like i would have certainly wanted as well, and i am wondering why that he is punishing me like this especially for what i want is certainly very normal for a straight man like me.

    • AbsoluteTruth – It can be very difficult to be alone, but I would not conclude that God is punishing you. Isn’t it possible that God could be working on your character and preparing you (and your eventual loved one) for a relationship? Isn’t it also possible that God has some good things to accomplish that you could not do if you were in a relationship?

      As I stated in the original blog post, I don’t believe everything happens for a reasons, so I don’t know that God intended for you to be single right now. But I think the best thing you can do at this point is make the most of your current situation. Develop your character, serve others and become the kind of person someone else would want to be with so that if/when you meet the right person they will want to be with you.

  20. Hi Paul.

    This is the first time that I’ve visited your site. I read the original post and the subsequent comments and woud like to offer a few thoughts.

    First, a little about my background: I have childhood sexual abuse in my past, and I was raised in an evangelical Christian home. There were some great things concerning my childhood, but it has become clear over time just how much the abuse has affected my life. I am currently in a recovery program and see a very good counselor. Further Disclosure: If I put my cards out on the table, I would say that I don’t know if there is a God; I often don’t think that there is.

    I am writing because I want to offer a few thoughts that you can take or leave. When people that have been through abuse and significant trauma in their past share their pain, an intellectual response or argument will not satisfy the pain and the abandonment that they feel. Abuse leaves a child believing that they are insignificant, unloved, and abandoned. That is the evil nature of abuse. When you hear and listen to abuse victims speak, please hear that. Please know that there is no intellectual answer that satisfies the amount of pain felt. While it may be true that human rights issues have improved over time, and that Jesus himself championed and cared for women and those that were oppressed, that still doesn’t resolve the sense of abandonment that abuse victims feel.

    Please also know that abuse shapes and affects our perceptions of God, ourselves, and other people. I would imagine that poverty does this as well. I can tell you that the God I knew was terrifying, ready to destroy me. That God was not interested in me and didn’t care for me. I worshiped that God as a child would worship an abuser – trying to placate an entity that was out to destroy me, hoping that if I was good enough then I could be loved. For the life of me, I do not understand why God – a loving and present God – did not break through that understanding and help me to understand how loved I was. I wish I could tell you that through prayer or bible reading, I have come to believe in God’s love. That is true for people I know and respect, but that has not been the case for me. When an abuse victim says that he or she cannot feel God’s love, and they were left and abandoned, those are very real things that most likely stem from their childhood. God was real to me as a child, and yet, he was terrifying. Hmm… Sounds a lot like I envisioned God as the abuser and saw him through that lens. When an abuse victim talks about God this way, it is at least a possibility that this is why they see God as harsh, demanding, unrelenting, and willfully disrespectful of any boundaries.

    I’m not sure that this is the best or only answer, but I would at least suggest that rather than try to respond to some of the immense pain that people feel with an intellectual response, that you somehow sit with them in the pain. I don’t know if this is possible online. Perhaps you are already doing this. But I can tell you from my experience, that I don’t believe responding from an intellectual point of view where an argument is trying to be won is effective, or graceful. Perhaps that is not what you were going for. There is definately a lot of kindness in your responses. Thank you for that. But there also seems to be a need to press your point, or have people see things from your point of view. That’s not bad (after all, that’s what I’m doing now) but that sort of response can be alienating; worse, it doesn’t seem to understand some of them key dynamics involved. Really and truly, there is not emotional or intellectual response that satisfies the deep ache that when something terrible happened, there was not intervention. There was not an apology. There was not any recompense. There was not appropriate action.

    Does the story have to end there? I hope not. I am struggling to move from abuse victim, to survivor. Ad hopefully from survivor to thriver. I have to believe that healing is possible. I am not convinced that that happens because of or with God, though friends and authors I respect have found healing there.

    I am glad that the blog has the courage to say that not everything happens for a reason. But if the conversation is really to be fruitful, if it’s more than an intellectual argument to you, than I would encourage you to learn how to sit with people and hear their stories differently. If you are really interested in this, going to a 12 Step program a few times could be really enlightening and cool. I’ve learned so much from my 12 step group, and it has helped me to learn how to engage in and just hear people’s stories who are difficult without trying to fix whatever situation they are in, I appreciate your willingness to hear this cristicsm. Thank you for putting yourself out there.

    • Hi JESC, thanks for your insightful comment. I think you’re right that for people who have experienced abuse and are still suffering from that pain, an intellectual response is not sufficient. Sitting with them, listening, and empathizing is probably the best response.

      If I was in a private conversation I would certainly take that approach, because the relationship and understanding is more important than the factualness of every statement. On a blog, though anyone can see other people’s comments. When someone posts something I know is not true, I get concerned that it could throw other people off track. Maybe I still need to give priority to empathy over truth, even in this setting. I don’t know. I’m still learning. Always trying to get better at helping people.

      Thanks for your perspective as a survivor. And yes, I intentionally chose the word “survivor” because you are seeing a counselor, confronting your past and helping me. That shows you do not view yourself as a helpless victim, but as one who can overcome and make a difference in the lives of others. 🙂

      • Paul..You mentioned to Jesc about people saying stuff ” that you know are not true”……How do you know what is really true ? Could it be your own experiences in life that have you so sure of what is true or not ? Did God himself in the flash come down and tell what is truth…or are you like the rest of the world and taking the bible and what people have said throughout history abut it for truth ?
        Have to ever thought that maybe a person’s life experience is what decided what is true or not for them ? You life experiences may not be someone else’s ! You have made sure that anything I say cannot be read by anyone on this site…and what that says about you and this site is that it is biased and you do not want any other truths to be shared on this site if it is not your version of what you think is truth. This site is not here for people to speak freely….not when you delete or hide peoples comments or views that are different from yours ! My truth. others and Jecs’s truth are the truth for us as we know it and believe it…just not your version of truth. What you are doing is hiding the other side of things from people..so they cannot think for themselves and decided for themselves what they want to believe. You are over protecting and taking that right to read everything and choose for themselves ! These people who you not allow to read others comments like mine are getting only your view and side of life ! What you are doing to them is keeping them babies in Christ and not allowing their faith to mature and grow…this only happens when you are faced with real life and real people with real feelings..making real honest comments !
        I think you are a weak Christian and scared of dealing with real people with real problems and feelings. It is much easier for you to silence us isn’t it Paul ?
        If the God you believe in is real and so loving….ask him to show to us in our lives in real tangible ways that will grab our hearts and help us believe ! You certainly do not have the ability to do that for me or others like me …and maybe you can ask God for strength to help you open your ears and heart and let us talk…
        Have you ever wondered that maybe when you think hiding our comments is helping others not to be discouraged by us.That maybe you might be preventing your own God from reaching one of us through some reply from another person other then yourself ? You might be an actual obstacle to God trying to work through others ?? That could be a strike against you on Judgement day…. something to seriously think about Paul.
        There are other Christian sites who have been more open to hear me and relate to me unlike you are doing …those kinds of people we listen to and they have an impact. Jesc made a point to you that you should heed…..Maybe you need some maturing as a Christian yourself….

        • Hi Sophia, I think it’s pretty clear that I have a great tolerance for allowing comments from people who disagree with me and have different perspectives. My my count, this is your 11th published comment on this post alone.

          I do want to be clear that LiveIntentionally.org is all about love, hope and making the most of one’s life. We can disagree about what that means, but those disagreements need to be constructive and respectful. I will remove comments that include insults and name calling. I will remove comments that are venting or argumentative. I will also remove comments that attempt to destroy hope. It’s rare, but that’s what has to be done sometimes to preserve an environment conducive to discussion and growth. I make no apologies for that.

          If you can keep your comments constructive and respectful, you’re welcome to be a part of the conversation regardless of whether we agree or disagree.

        • Hi Sophia,

          I am grieved to read about your life. I see so much pain, sorrow, anger, and bitterness burning in your words. But, I also see a clear mind. Your name means “wisdom” in Greek, and I perceive this quality in your words. I have nothing to say about your pain, and no excuses to offer on God’s behalf. I’m sorry, that’s all. I’m sorry your life is the way it is. I wish it wasn’t, but there is nothing I can do about it. I can offer only one thought that occurred to me while reading your posts.

          Consider the cross. Not just any cross, but a crucifix. There we behold Jesus dying via public torture. God allowed this to happen to him. He did nothing to stop it. As Jesus was being unjustly sentenced to death, whipped, and nailed to a cross to asphyxiate, bleed out, and dehydrate to death God did absolutely nothing to prevent it. Nothing. If Jesus was God’s son, the one whom he loved the most or was delighted in, how could God allow such evil to befall him?

          I don’t know.

          But, Jesus was convinced that God was good, loving, righteous, holy, and cared for him and all of us too. Jesus was convinced of this, and preached it up until his very last breath, even when he felt abandoned by God as he heaved in despair and gave up his life.

          I think it is OK to trust Jesus. I think it is OK to believe in him. I agree, in this life God seems cruel, uncaring, and evil. He created Satan, knowing full well what he would become! He created hell, and lets people go there! He allows child rape, starvation, AIDS, torture, war, etc. I know, and I agree with you.

          But even in the face of all this evil, and death on a cross, Jesus tells us to trust in him. Jesus tells us that it is OK and it will be worked out in the end.

          Of course, we can’t prove the resurrection. We have negative evidence (no body) and some positive testimony from many people a long time ago. That is the best we can do. We have just about as much or more evidence for the events surrounding Jesus’ life that we do for anyone from a long, long time ago.

          But, I think it is our only hope. If Jesus says it is OK, and he was willing to go to the cross and really did come back from death, then we have a good reason to hold on to hope. We have a good reason to trust Jesus. He is our only hope in a world of evil, pain, and confusion.

          I’m not pretending to understand the cross, or your cross, or anyone’s cross. It is easy for me to say “If I were God, there would be no crosses! No evil, no pain, no hell, so sin, no satan, etc!” Of course though, I’m not God, none of us are. But Jesus doesn’t ask us to understand.

          He asks us to trust him, and he offers his death on a cross as proof that he is willing to “put his money where his mouth is” so to speak. Jesus isn’t “above the fray.” He has joined us down here on this crappy planet! And, he promised that he would never leave us alone. Even though you feel alone Sophia, Jesus hears you. I hear you, and I don’t even know you at all! But Jesus says he knows all of us, and I think it is OK to trust him! I believe and hope he proved it by his death and resurrection.

          I will pray for both of us, that Jesus will give us proof in our lives that he can be trusted. I sincerely hope that your life improves, if not in outer circumstances, maybe in inner ones. I hope both!!!

          • Philo, your reply to Sophia was beautiful. Bravo! You have a beautiful outlook.
            I am a twin. She and I were both raised in the same environment. We both believe in God, and both profess to be saved by the blood of Jesus. She sees everything we went thru growing up thru a negative lens. I happen to be quite positive. I forgive easily and I am not normally jealous. She holds grudges and constantly compares what she doesn’t have to others who seem, in her words to be “favored by God”. She sees no reason to go to church because she says “they” are all “judgmental”. I find that judgment exists in and out of church. The location doesn’t seem to matter. Sin and suffering exist in both christian and non-christian. I go to church to form friendships with flawed people who need my support and look for ways I can learn and grow from them and band together to help the less fortunate and the unchurched.
            I love science and math and doubted God’s existence for many years. (BTW, I came to know the Lord long after my sister did, she has always been negative though, and I have always been a positive person) I believed that there was enough “evidence” to disprove God. It was in deciding to look to prove that he DOES exist and looking for his existence that I found Him. I decided to believe. I can only tell you what I have experienced so far, that even though both my sister and I have similar lives, she is very unhappy. I can see evidence of good but she seems blind to it and I can’t seem to open her eyes to it. She only points an angry, bitter finger at me accusing God of treating me better. She is beautiful but can’t see it, she is witty but uses the gift as sarcasm, and she is so very smart but is very defensive and bristles if she thinks anyone might be accusing her of being stupid.
            I hate to say she brings it on herself, but darn it, she does. I am very protective of her and would be mortified if she were to read this and it hurt her. I would gladly give her half of my positive view if I could. She would be amazing and unstoppable for the Lord. This is where I think the enemy attacks. It isn’t in the travesties and maladies that happen to us all. It is in the mind, the thinking, the attitudes that Satan gets hold of and stops us from being effective for God. And the strongholds of the mind is what we have to fight against.
            P.S. Sophia, In one of your posts you mentioned Joyce Meyer’s red dress. You want God to save YOU from YOUR pain and yet you begrudge Joyce Meyer for having anything good, including the red dress and money, in her life? She went thru years of sexual and mental abuse by her parents and have spent decades studying, writing and preaching and helping millions of people out of their suffering. You begrudge her a red dress and yet you want God to save YOU? And if he did, would you give him the credit or would you still rail against him and look for some other bad thing? Does Joyce Meyer not deserve every good thing that comes to her now?If you suddenly came upon good fortune and a windfall of blessings I would not begrudge you one bit! I would celebrate! Please, celebrate with Joyce her red dress! Cheer up and look for all the good for even just one day. Watch and read positive people like John C. Maxwell and Zig Ziglar. Stop talking about the past. Stop talking about the past. Stop talking about the past. I say it three times because it is that important! I have met you. You are my twin. I pray you will not always think that the world is against you. Do not think that me and God are picking on YOU. If I had worked with you when you defended the Lord I would have looked up to you. I might not have told you so. I might have needed a minute to process what had happened. You don’t know what affect your stance took on someone else. You may have been the difference between someone finally standing up to the dirty priest or the perverted uncle, etc. You see, the lens you are looking thru is very myopic. God’s lens and his scope is eternal. Now get up, Girl! Go wash your face and smile at yourself in the mirror and finally love yourself! Look for the existence of God’s goodness. He will find YOU. You see, he has sent you me, your cheerleader!(haha, that came off sounding like I think I am God’s Gift!…not exactly what I meant, y’all!) Even though you have been so angry with God, he is not mad at you. Not even one bit. He is cheering you on to victory!

    • Hi Jesc, I can relate somewhat but not in terms of child abuse but in terms of intense bullying, discrimination, isolation and being made to feel unwanted and unwelcome for being different. Different being smart, nice to people, not being a bully and causing people pain and actually standing up for others and causing problems for the right reasons. I was mostly dealing with atheist, arrogant and selfish people that were against anything that didn’t agree with their attitudes and ideas.

      Standing up against evil, racial discrimination and bullying is tough and will attract a lot of hate your way and you will be singled out.

      I am very sorry to here about your childhood sexual abuse but some things cannot be controlled. The person that is to blame is the adult that took advantage of a younger child and thought nothing of their feelings, sanctity and innocence. This is one their conscience whether they have it or not is another question. Free will and someone choosing to do something is the way the world works and has always functioned that way.

      Even through my struggles and loneliness, I do thank God for giving me the strength for not letting these people getting to me because they are the ones that are disturbed, unkind, lack compassion or respect for another person. But now I am fine, all this is now behind me, moved to a different country and I am doing very well.

      I wouldn’t say it is God’s fault nor your fault but just the way life sometimes happens. Lots of people lose loved ones through war, murder, car accidents, illness and many other ways. It is a different type of pain and suffering but it still is pain and suffering.

      I am not wise or divine enough to understand the ways of God or his plans but things eventually work out but the time frame you hope for is not what you want. You think 1 year and it ends up being 3 years or even more.

      A lot of all of this is down to you, believing in yourself, fighting against those that want to hurt you and showing them that you are not scared and are completely fearless. Everyone has their own problems and issues and no one is completely perfect and without fault so don’t fret or worry.

      It wasn’t your fault, take some time to heal and just move on and whoever this person was will eventually end up in jail or wherever wishing they were dead.

  21. Adding another voice to the conversation…

    Our Father, the Grand Weaver: by Ravi Zacharias


    • Hi Yiota, totally agree with what you wrote. Everything i believe has a natural order and a cause and affect mechanism. One thing has to happen in a certain way to bring about a result. If I throw a stone at someones window, the window will break and there will be a consequence. I will either get found out and asked to pay for damage or the person that lives at that house will have to clean up the mess and pay to have the window repaired.

      My choices, attitudes and mentality affected someone elses life for the worse and caused this person grief and feeling uncomfortable in his own home.

      Same with life, God has to bring about a certain outcome or allow things to happen so that something else will follow it. Therefore having a reason for it whether it be known or not for our limited wisdom.

      This is all theory of course but a decision has consequences or a situation must have an outcome that will either benefit you or not. Sometimes you have no choice due to the complexity and overlapping of lives and other people’s free will intervening. Yet, God has to allow time for a person’s bad decisions to caught up with them in relation to his plan.

      Some people deserve the rotten lives they have and have been given what they deserve but i still unsure why good people are the most unfortunate but they usually still remain faithful and steadfast. A test of character and faith perhaps but materialistic bliss is not everything and sometimes peace within yourself and truth happiness is really what is important.

      Everything does happen for a reason because if it didn’t then the universe would be in chaos and nothing would know its place. Order proves reason and intelligent design.

      • Jason, thanks for sharing your perspective. I agree with you that there is a natural order and cause and effect in the universe.

        Typically when people say, “Everything happens for a reason” they mean that ALL events are being orchestrated by God for some greater purpose. Is that what you mean?

        If so, how does that fit with the earlier part of your comment where you wrote, “My choices, attitudes and mentality affected someone elses life?” If you throw a stone and break someone’s window is that God’s will or your choice?

    • YIOTA, thanks for sharing your perspective. Are you sure God controls “EVERYTHING?” If so, does that mean we have no free will? No choices in this life?

  23. HI, it is so sad that people blame God for everything that goes wrong. Why not Allah or Boeda or even Satan. Because deep inside they know the truth. They know that He made everything. I just want to say something. It is so sad that children are raped and murdered. But who says that God wasn’t there when it happened and He prevented it to get worse. God doesn’t have favourets. It says so in the Bible. Every one is equal. Giving your live to God is a choice, it is free will. And there are to many people that don’t want to make that choice it is to much fun doing the things that is not good. It is like being in a relationship. To make it work you have to compromise. I went through something very bad and still came out a winner. I believe God let it happen. I am in a much better place now. Financially I am worst of but will get there again. I think personally it is all about positive thinking as well. Not letting live get you down. While this thing was happening to me, me or my son didn’t go to bed hungry one day. We didn’t have much, I lost everything but still was positive. I felt God there although I was devastated I didn’t let it get me down. I stay positive and thank God for it because I believe if I didn’t have Him in my live I would have fallen into depression. I still don’t have a vehicle, I walk to work. But He is with me every single step. I may have let go of His hand at a stage but I know He was behind me the whole time waiting for me to take His hand again. What Father will leave His child. We just have to ask. My prayer are still not answered immediately but I know God has my whole live in His hands and I believe it with my whole hart. He is my Father and He loves me. That is all that is important to me.

  24. Paul, I have read your article and I have to agree with most of the things you say. I do believe God created gravity, so why should he worry where they lie and the weather as well.

    my question to you would be what about the people we meet in life? For example someone who knowingly uses us for their own shellfish needs. Do we meet them for a reason? When we finally find what real love is about…
    Children who are abused, murdered and come out to be the president or whatever.. Would you say that if it wasn’t for that abuse situation God allowed to happen, they wouldn’t have been stronger adults?

    • Hi Mychael, thanks for your comment. That’s a great (and challenging) question. Like you, I’ve heard lots of people say a bad experience made them stronger, and even that they wouldn’t have been able to do X if Y hadn’t happened. The difficulty in that, however, is that we have no idea what would have happened without that negative experience. Perhaps some positive experience – like an amazing mentor – could have made them stronger and pointed them in the same direction and they would have ended up there any way, right?

      If you believe that God is perfectly good (as I do), then I don’t think He could ever will/cause evil to somebody even if He knew it would eventually become a net positive.

      He does allow evil to befall us, but then He’s smart and powerful enough to use for good what was intended for harm.

      • I am not sure I can agree to this all the way. The book of JOB is a book I reference my harder situations in life to. And if I recall on this book. God and Satan battled for the faith of Job, God allowing horrible situations to happen to JOB such as disease, death and starvation.

        • That is true. God did allow horrible things to happen to Job. But did God cause Job’s hardships or did Satan (and God not stop them)? I think there’s a big difference.

          Because Job followed God, God was able to bring good out of those horrible circumstances even though God didn’t want them for Job or cause them.

          • But God agreed to these horrible things to happen to JOB. Also.. diseases, God himself said we would suffer from starvation and disease.. I know people personally who were good, God fearing people and cause their husband cheated on them they ended up with things medication can’t cure. How did this innocent women deserve this? What about the people who are born Gay and hates themselves for it..God created people in his image, therefore he created people to be gay, yet says if you are you are to burn in hell. Why would god allow a man or women to be gay and then send them to hell for something which was out of their control.. I from what I have read and seen on T.V or whatever when a gay person talks about being gay, they first thing they say is, “I didn’t ask to be gay, i hate the fact I’m gay”

  25. Mycheal
    you are talking about the book of Job.
    But seems to me you haven’t understood the book.
    God knew everything what “Satan” was doing to Job, because Satan was jealous about the strong faith Job had on God.
    Even Satan, said to God, is easy for Job, to love you and to obey you because you have giving him everything.
    And God new the tricks of Satan, and where he is going with God, said to him OK do anything you want with his wealth but never lay a hand on Job because what ever you are gone try Job still have faith on me and he never is going to deny me …… Mycheal this is a real faith in the end God give to Job everything back what Lucifer had taken from him….
    and this is the story how Lucifer keep making accusation to God, about the Job, and other Archangels God see in Lucifer great evil and this is why cast Lucifer down from heaven etc.

    • Mychael, first of all, whether people are “born gay” is debatable and outside the scope of this post. But according to the scriptures, nobody goes to hell for being gay. People go to hell for rejecting God.

      Second, it sounds like you are still having trouble with the distinction between God allowing evil to happen (which He does) vs causing evil (which He doesn’t do). There is a huge difference. Let me try an analogy…

      Do you have kids? I have 3. My 10 year old son likes to go out and play in our back yard with no shoes on. I have warned him that he could get hurt, but I don’t prevent him from going outside without them. If he steps on a thorn or cuts his foot on a rock, I am allowing it to happen so he can experience the natural consequences of his actions. But that is vastly different from beating him with a thorny stick and intentionally injuring him, which would be child abuse. It’s not a pefect analogy (none is) but I hope that helps.

      • Paul,

        I understand that people being “born gay” might be outside this article, however in my eyes and opinion it does fall some what in the same debate. Please feel no disrespect with my opinions. I respect your article and have passed it on cause I do feel that you have very valid points.

        The bible does state that “gay” people both men and women who are involved into this lifestyle are to burn in hell, i guess this might not be the correct opinion on this article I will agree, but a concern when it comes to obeying God. Due to the fact a very good friend of mine is gay and she is a Godly women, but is judged for her being this way. So i guess I am not personally understanding this in the bible and with Christians.

        I do have a daughter who is 6, and I also advise her not to do things which could result in her getting her, but feel she needs to learn the hard way sometimes. I grew up a VERY STRICT CATHOLIC and I am starting to realize that their teaches are not always correct and I have been searching for the correct way in what God wants us to learn and know.

        • Mycheal,

          >>The bible does state that “gay” people both men and women who are involved into this lifestyle are to burn in hell

          Are you sure or are you saying that just based on what others have told you? Can you you point me to the verse in the bible that says that?

          What I see is… “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23) and “the wages (consequences) of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). God has not predestined homosexuals for hell, but rather we ALL have given into temptation and sinned of our free will and as a result have separated ourselves from God.

          But fortunately God loves us enough to send Jesus to die in our place, to pay the penalty for our sin, so that we can be forgiven and reconciled with God. This forgiveness and reconciliation is available to all of us, including people who have a same-sex attraction.

  26. Believing in God or trying to understand how things happen and why comes down to whether God has chosen to show himself to you through subtle signs and situations. God won’t come to your face and wave at you. He will show himself in his actions and steering your life the way he sees best for you.

    I didn’t really believe in God that much until i faced challenges and trials in life. I could see how people will trying to make my life difficult because i was talented and they envied me. I know that sounds arrogant but i was envied and was bullied a lot by people that didn’t like me. I lived in a small town and everyone followed the crowd and i ended up getting picked on by many. This continued into college and work. It wasn’t all bad but the pressure and stress of being targeted got to me and i decided to take action.

    I decided to move country, specifically the US because I was a citizen and moved from a european country.

    As soon as i moved everything from then on changed for the better. I was being noticed and treated better for being talented.

    It is hard to describe but i was being picked on for being a good person, hard working and gifted. I believe that God put me in situations and circumstances for a reason ans thinks do happen for a reason.

    I am not sure if the same challenges and trials apply to everyone but God does know who can handle more than others.

    • Hey Jason, thanks for your comment. I’m glad to hear you took the initiative to change your circumstances, and that in your challenges you were able to see God at work. That’s awesome!

      One thing other thing I would like to respond to is, based on the Bible and my own conversations with other people, I believe that God actually reveals himself to everyone. Certainly for some it’s more dramatic and obvious than others, but ultimately it comes down to whether we are looking for God or not.

      We all experience “coincidences” in life that we can either choose to give God credit for or chalk up as “good luck.” We all get “nudges” that we can either credit as God’s direction or dismiss as “gut feeling.”

      Additionally the more we ask God for direction, the more we sense him giving us nudges. And the more we follow those nudges and take steps of faith, the more we experience God’s faithfulness.

      It all comes down to how intentional we are about seeking and following God.

      • Hi Paul,

        Thanks for the response. God is there for everyone that chooses to accept and acknowledge him but some are more sceptical than others about religion, a big guy in the sky helping and looking out for us and the idea that we may not be in as much control as we think.

        We are in control but at the same time we are not. In my opinion, God gives you a choice whether to practice good or evil and to be responsible for your decisions and a certain life will follow which ever path. This is freewill. But doing the right thing all the time isn’t easy and you will attract opposition for it meaning being good is the hardest option.

  27. Depending on how one sees it, everything DOES happen for a reason. Unfortunately, many things happen because people are being mindless, unintentional (which this website addresses), or because people are abusing their free will without any regard to the consequences. While God’s DIvine, ultimate Will is for all to go to Heaven, His permissive will is necessary since He gives us free will. So His permissive Will means He allows things to happen. This does not exclude the possibility that He can use that down the road to bring about a good. A person could be killed in a drunk-driving accident and their organs used to save someone else for example. Was it God’s Will that the first person die just so the 2nd person live? I don’t think so but I cannot speak for God. However, He does have a hand in things that the person’s organs would be salvageable so that someone could benefit and God could bring something good out of the situation. This may or may not bring peace to those who loved and grieve for the first person but, hopefully, they find solace and see how God can bring life out of death – not to mention that, if that first person died with faith and lived a decent life, they now have Eternal Life with God in Heaven.

  28. Great article! Do you know how hard it is to find Christian writers who don’t blame God for everything?

    I have two mental responses when I hear people flippantly using the “God is in control” line when referring to God causing/allowing bad things to happen. (Or when they point to, but misinterpret, Job!) The first is to ask, “With a God like that, who needs a devil?” The second is to think, “Wow! I could never stand in front of our loving Father and accuse Him of causing such evil!” (People tried doing that in Job – way before Jesus showed us in human form the truly good nature of the Father – and they got in major trouble for attributing evil to God even back then! ) Have they not read James-1-13?

    Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.”

  29. This comment is for Sophia:

    Dear Sophia,

    I have had some hard times as a believer of the bible, during my years, ( I am now 50) also some good times, prayers answered and so forth. Over a 30 year period of this i have come to understand, there is a dark side and and a kingdom of light. ( God and a Devil) What this means is that we, humans are caught in the crossfire. You do good, the dark side attacks you with bad circumstances, sickness (it helps to take vitamins and avoid junk foods) and various problems. You do bad and soon the consequences of that catches up with you, causing the results from doing the bad. What’s a human supposed to do, how does anyone on the planet get relief from this you might wonder.
    Well, I started out by repenting for my bad lineage, yes my grandfather’s sins against the family, my parents sins against each other, affecting me, where i too ended up in sins.

    It was after this soul searching and repenting that i realized God did NOT hate me or cause the house fire where i lived with other christians. Well, indirectly the dark side did, it was a chimney fire, none got hurt but none of us had insurance either, this was early in my christian experience—anyway touch and go from there–

    fastforward to the now…I found my belief in God improved alot when He heard my prayers AFTER, not before, i took responsibility for my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents sins, and what was a bad lineage i’d been born in. God started blessing me more then, but also the dark side attacks increased too, at the same time.(frustrating)

    The second thing i did about this all, was that i discovered Affirmations, the law of attraction and started applying it in my life, despite the fact my life was lousy, in spite of the blessings– jobs stolden, feeling alone most of the time, struggling along in poverty,etc. Well things improved about a month after the repenting prayers and law of attraction affirmations, i got that townhouse, and nice car i wanted, better relationships developed with people and I maintain these by daily affirmations and daily praying
    Hebrews 1:14 for God to sent His Holy angels to protect me from the dark side (the devil and his legions of demons, etc)

    I still have some problems here and there, but nothing like i used to have before i did these two things. Sad to say i cannot give credit to the church for these turnarounds, i have to say it was myself soul-searching–the answers are within–reading (and understanding) the bible on my own time, hours of it, and finding out how the law of attraction works (looking it up online after learning from TV on Oprah) AND taking a chance on repenting to God for everything i could think of even if it may not been my fault, like my parents sinning against God–how is that MY fault???!!!

    In ANY case these two things is what worked for me. Before this, I had crappy circumstances and relate to how you’re feeling about yours, felt like God didn’t care about me, i’m not important enough, etc. Going to church for years on end, singing all those songs, getting preached at, and lectured by other (well-meaning) Christians could do NOTHING to help me or my bad circumstances.

    These two things made a positive difference in my life (mostly because majority of churches are like social clubs, they have no clue how to help dire circumstances and fortunately I didn’t get bitter about it at christians)–but could have, had i not stopped going. I’d lost interest in going to churches for help, they could only help a little but not enough to change my circumstances around. Perhaps if i had something to give and confidence, i might go again. I still have the odd friend i still see from when i used to go.
    Only these things what i’m telling you helped.

    In fact i never reply to anyone when i read posts, but i was so moved by your story to reply as you are clearly crying out for help, so here it is.

  30. Hii Sophia, i too have somewhat same thinking as you. I found many hurdles in my path, sometime i feel that there is someone behind all my hurdles.and all that try to proves me careless ,cruel,untalented.everyone says that we should be laborious to achieve things bt when i do labour to get good results, than i never get results.today i was feeling very bad and don’t wanted to even talk to anyone ,i was crying n just typed a sentence that why everything happens against me and found this post,and it was good to read all the comments. I felt like i am sharing my problems while reading …..i thank god for whatever happens good in ma life .than i hv a right to credit him for what happens bad in ma life……god always help those people who do worship n all whether they are bad or good ,it does not concern to him… What i analyse that people r afraid of god and they do buttering n all.. There r some question to ask n to get answer.there r some question i hv to answer. I feel very unlucky n alone sometime …bt inside me, somewhere i hv a hope of bright future .i am in dilemma whether it is becoz i trust god or myself.i know that i am a good person n every thing will be alright with me…

  31. I really don’t want to be disrespectful, and know that I come from years of religious schooling and I do believe in a higher power. When reading this article you have written I have some points I would like to discuss.

    It sounds as though you and others writing here are taking the Bible literal. Do you believe that God stopped the sun from moving, and intervened in those cosmic ways? I liked where you were going when you said God created systems for a reason. However, moving on, the way you describe God is way to personified in my opinion. You keep calling God a he when, if there is a higher power, it would be more of a force that connects all of us and set things in motion.

    In my opinion, God is not conscious like us. Just like God does not love like us. Or should I say we cannot love like God. So to say he can intervene whenever he wants makes it sound as though he is some humanoid creature living in a similar time-lapse as us, watching and potentially waiting. And in regards to actually believing different events in the Bible take place, one misses the big picture. The Bible was divinely inspired, and not divinely written. Humans wrote the Bible through inspiration, and a desire to show the true beauty and powers of the world. When we read the Bible literally we are limiting God and ourselves. Don’t limit yourselves, and take what you read from the Bible as advice given through metaphors. There is an inherent good and evil in all of us, and to make ourselves chess pieces for higher powers takes the control out of our hands and ends up making us watch and wait like the humanoid creature we think God is. We have the capacity to change the world, and the spark lives in all of us. Just like a spark created the world. Realize that we all have places in this world, but it is up for us to find and choose them. They are not assigned to us. If we don’t realize that we are sitting on the bench.

    And to go back to what I said before. I really do not want to offend, and believe me I know that people who have interpreted the Bible literally have done great things. In my experience in the world though I have seen people use the Bible as an excuse rather than a reason to do great things. My beliefs are beliefs, not facts. Only a higher power knows what is right and what is wrong. If you are to take anything from what I have said though. Sometimes you have to go with your gut and follow a spark. Don’t wait, and don’t limit yourselves.

    • Hey Eric, thanks for your comment. We welcome comments from different perspectives here.

      I do believe the Bible is 100% accurate and that the stories recorded in the Bible actually happened.

      You said, “In my opinion, God is not conscious like us.” What is that opinion based on? I believe God is a conscious, personal being because that is how the Bible describes Him. And I believe the Bible is true because of the historical evidence for Jesus life, death and resurrection.

      You said, “Don’t limit yourselves.” But I ask you to consider… if you think God is not personal, He did not cause the Bible to be written exactly as he wanted it, and he does not interact in our daily lives… is this worldview not by definition limiting?

      Sure, there are people who use the Bible as an excuse rather than a reason to do good things, but there will always be people who misunderstand and misuse God’s gifts, right?

      I’m not sure to what extent you may already do this, I would encourage you to read the Bible. When you do, I think you’ll find a God who is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving. He created us, human beings, in his image – to be personal and interactive. He loves us enough to give us guidance and provide us the resources to do great things. This is not limiting in anyway. In fact, it’s just the opposite. What could be more empowering than to do each day with the all-powerful Spirit of God?

  32. Well it is certainly God’s fault why i am single since i never had ask to be born and put on this Rotten Earth to begin with. And to look at so many other Very Blessed men and women together with their Families certainly hurts me a lot, especially when many of us would had wanted the same thing since we’re all Alone and have no one. Not fair at all, and with Not so nice women that are out there today makes it Worse too since we really Can’t blame ourselves either.

    • Sounds like you’re not very happy with your circumstances. Perhaps it’s not your fault. Perhaps you were born into a difficult situation and/or others have hurt you. If that’s the case, I’m sorry for that.

      I have two questions for you…

      1) What do you want the rest of your life to be like?

      2) Are you the kind of person the person you’re looking for would want to be with?

      You may have every right to grumble and complain about your life and blame others for your circumstances. But do you think a good woman is going to find that attractive?

      If you’re sick and tired of being single, become the positive, kind, encouraging person a good woman would want to be with.

      • A matter of fact yes, and i was married at one time for 15 years before she Cheated on me which i was just too good for her anyway. Many women nowadays just Can’t be faithful at all since their the ones why the divorce rate is very much out of control nowadays since many of them do Cheat a lot. I was a very loving and caring husband that was very committed to her as well knowing what i had at home and didn’t have to go out looking for it anymore.

        • Thanks for continuing the conversation. I am really sorry to hear your wife was unfaithful and that led to divorce.

          In your previous comment you said, “it is certainly God’s fault why i am single” but now it sounds like you’re saying it’s your ex-wife’s fault. The latter is consistent with what I wrote in the original post:

          “we as human beings have free will. We can choose good or evil. All is not decided for us. If I punch you in the nose, it is not ‘God’s will’ for you to have a bloody nose but mine.”

          That said, you may be justified in blaming your ex-wife for ruining your marriage, but do you also want to give her the power to ruin the rest of your life?

          Bitterness is a prison of our own making. Forgiveness is the key that opens the prison door. I know it’s not fair. But which do you want more fairness or freedom?

  33. Interesting forum. I must say, I do not adhere to the God of the Bible, However I am familiar with its doctrine as I was baptized at 16 as Christian in Jamaaica. I have read most comments and since I believe as Taoist in no conflicts in a Higher Design and I d believe in a Personal And Universal Creator. One that is reality the other, religion etc we project. We project based on our IDEAS WHAT A GOD SHOULD OR SHOULDNOT BE. Duality is the reality, Yin and Yang is a flow of oppisite which arent really opposing but lie on this One Plane. We are obviously moving in one DIRECTION – Thats the Direction of the Heavens. God is what it is. A higher being that we think we know everything about. We go by faith. Faith is not reality. We try to make life as good, suffering as bad. We always know one thing. GOD IS GOOD!!! AND I MEAN ALL THE TIME. MAYBE MY DELUSIONS AND I DONT WANT TO CAUSE CONFUSION. WE ARE IN A PERPETUAL SEARCH. LOVE LEADS THE WAY, IF YOU SEE IT AS LOVE> M

  34. Wow! All comment here are so interesting! Mayb probably I can d answer of wat ve bin looking for long time ago! Yes! There is God ! Ask me genenuely nd I wil tel u he do intervene! Though I ve learn a lot from him! Our way is nt his ways! WITOUT BIBLE ND ANY WRITEN BOOKS! CAN SOM1 PROVE TO ME DERE IS GOD OR BETTER STIL DAT HE ACTUALLY INTERVENE IN OUR DAILLY EVENT!!!

  35. For years, I believed in God and the Bible. I have always tried to treat people the way I would want to be treated. I consider myself kind, outgoing, helpful and generous (sometimes) to a fault. I am twice divorced – first husband had a drug problem and the second was physically abusive. I recently broke up with a fiance of 3.5 years who I found out had been carrying on a 17 year relationship of which I had no knowledge of. I was broken hearted and completely devestated. At the time this occured, I had no job, finances or working vehicle. My fiance paid the household expenses and didnt care that I had no job. I contributed to the relationship by taking care of the man like a wife and whatever else I could do to help make his job easier like handling the bills, doing the banking and whatever else he needed as he is a long distance truck driver with his own business and was often working during business hours. I was a good woman to this man and I loved his family and also went out of my way to do things for his parents. He walked out on me for this other woman and never looked back; left me nearly homeless with no money for rent or to support myself and no working vehicle in which to find a job. A few days before I met my ex, I had prayed to God that he send me someone to just help me if my car breaks down, if my lawn mower had a problem or some other handyman type issue I could call on; two days later, he walks into my job. I thought he was sent to me from the Lord. He was good to me financially, he was helpful and went out of his way at first then he became emotionally abusive towards the last year or so of our relationship. I really tried to make it work but he was a narcissist, which I found out after much research once he walked out. It’s been three months since our relationship ended and the ex moved right on in with this woman even before he packed up from my house.

    I have struggled just to pay my rent, in fact, my children had to chip in to help me since I really had no money. I asked my daughter if I could move to the state where she lives just so I could get myself together and on my feet. I have two college degrees so I am educated. There are no jobs where I live and in her state, I would have no problem finding work. She turned me away and would rather pay my rent and have me sit up in my house with no job opportunity than to allow me to stay with her for a few months and dig myself out of my pit of despair. A year ago, she kept asking me to move to her state but then I couldn’t because I’d gotten engaged and wanted to see it through but now that I am in need, she turns her back on me.

    I no longer believe that God cares anything about me or what I’m living with. I am sick to death that people keep saying things like “God is with you through the suffering”, “God cares about what you’re going through”, “Everything is going to work out for your good”. When my relationship fell apart, I couldnt sleep, eat and I lost 17 pounds in two months. I cried everyday for the past two months and I wake up everyday with a panic attack. I have to admit my fiance had problems with communicating with me and used to walk out during discussions and have randomly disappeared for days at a time during the relationship which caused me frustration and anger. I kicked him out after doing one of these disappearing acts and he moved in with her but instead of admitting he’d been carrying on this double life all through our relationship, he blames me for kicking him out and that was why he rekindled his relationship with this woman, so he says.

    My ex fiance and his girlfriend walked away unscathed while I am devestated due to no action of my own. I was used but yet, he wakes up everyday, gets in his 18 wheeler and goes to work then collects his pay at the end of the week. They have moved in together in a house like he & I had talked about getting. We were supposed to get married last month but the plans were never finalized prior to the breakup. He’s driving a new car and has a house full of new furniture and they are living the high life. I, on the other hand, can barely pay my light bill.

    So, the beautiful ring set that he gave me is sitting in my shoe box, never to be worn. Everything is supposed to be predestined,our paths are supposed to be planned before we were born and nothing happens by chance…it’s all planned. Which means God allowed this man to come into my life, knowing the person he was. He knew I would fall in love with him and that I would be deceived but he allowed it to happen to me. This man is not suffering at all, in fact, he has prospered. God sent me up to be hurt…he knew I had been through one miserable relationship after another over the last 25 or so years and yet, he sent another person in my path that he knew meant me no good. If he didn’t cause evil, he allowed it when he didn’t have to. I look at God as someone sitting at a chess board and using people as pawns.

    Please don’t talk about being tested, I’ve been jumping through enough hoops for God over the years that he should have known my love of him. If you give your life to God pretty much, it should show him what’s in your heart, and you shouldnt continually be tested and lose everything for him to prove a point. Why is the ex and his girlfriend not losing anything? I’ve been betrayed by the ex and God, which hurts even worse. I’ll never trust God again.

    • Hi Cheryl, thanks for taking the time to comment. I’m sorry for all the hardships you’ve experienced. It certainly sounds unfair when we see people who cheat and are unfaithful and seem to prosper while we’re struggling. I believe God is a just God, and life in this world is short compared to eternity. We will all stand before God and have to answer for the lives we live, so those who seem to prosper in this life through evil will eventually pay the consequences.

      There’s one specific thing you wrote I want to respond to…

      >>Everything is supposed to be predestined,our paths are supposed to be planned before we were born and nothing happens by chance…it’s all planned

      If you read this post, you know I don’t believe that is true. God has a plan for our lives but we are free to choose to follow God or not. God may bring certain people into your lives, but how we choose to relate to them is up to us.

      It sounds to me that you have been in several relationships with people who were unfaithful and even abusive. Did you pray and ask God’s guidance about having a relationship with them or did you just follow your heart/desires? Did you honor God in these relationships by praying and participating in a church together? By abstaining from sex until marriage?

      Don’t misunderstand, I’m not blaming you for the cheating and unfaithfulness of others. But I have seen many, many people who don’t follow what God teaches about relationships in the bible, and then get upset when He doesn’t bless their relationships.

  36. A week ago my 2 year old grandson Kreedin was murdered. Brutally beaten to death by his babysitter while his mother was at work? Can anyone tell my why Good allows this to happen? I am a Lutheran but I have to admit this situation is challenging everything I believe.

    • Hi Tanya, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandson and really disturbed about the way he died. I could offer a theological explanation as to why I think God allows things like this to happen, but it would probably seem trite and hollow right now.

      What I will say, though, is I hope you will take your anger, your sadness, your questions, and everything else to God. He is big enough. You won’t hurt His feelings. He wants to go through this struggle with you. And if you’re a part of church with people who truly follow Jesus, they will be big enough to walk with you through this as well. Don’t do it alone. Don’t say you’re ok if your not. Be honest with people about your feelings about this situation and about God.

      And if you don’t feel like you have anyone you can be honest with and will listen to you, feel free to contact me any time.

  37. Dear Paul,

    My name is Anthony Rey and what can be understood about all this is that God is more powerful, pure and higher than us in such a way that we have on quote “no answer”. However I know that the bible speaks about giving pure peace and love in order to understand and be in his level of infinite knowledge and power. I can understand your acceptance of the bible as truth but the truth is that all religions have truth and their own way to almighty God and he loves and forgives regardless. All he wants us to do is connect and gain the power he gave all life and creation for his own reasons and power to infinitely in order to bring as all beliefs and traditions say, heaven on earth.

    • Hi Anthony, thanks for your comment. You touched on some big topics like what God’s purpose is and whether all religions have truth and lead to God, which are beyond the scope of this post, but what do you think about the topic of the post… does everything happen for a reason?

  38. {The following is IMO ( In My Opinion) which I have been writing out into the internet since many years }

    The Lord has a Colossal Program for this Cosmos ..with semantics and syntax . Thus everything including the Cosmos as a whole in micro and macro level, works out its existence and culmination under this Program..

    The Program with its Semantics and Syntax makes it a Hybrid Realm ( of Pre determinism, Causality ,Free Will or Intelligence ) with regard to Destiny of each and everything , living on non-living.

    Thus for example , as an individual lives, he or she creates via the Network of Program , the circumstances , instances, instants of happenings or consequences etc to cumulatively make the Process of Life for that individual ..and thus Course of Life or Destiny.

    Spiritual Laws and Material Laws are major Factors regarding the Courses of Existence and Culmination ..( Other entities , positive or negative energies, etc can influence your course of lives and destiny )

    Thus Everything Happens for a Reason because you and every being ( living or non-living) are in and living through, The Program for The Cosmos .

    Further The Lord is All Knowing , because He is Space & Time Transcending and because The Semantics and Syntax of The Program is known to Him with all its myriads of Permutations and Combinations , and every course of action and where it will lead one to ..or anything in this Universe ..

    Discern & Deduce

    • Dev, thanks for your comment. Is there any evidence or basis for this “Colossal Program for this Cosmos”? You called this is your opinion, so I’m just wondering if there is any reason to believe there is any more to this say The Matrix or the universe any other fiction writer might imagine.

  39. Hi Paul,
    Thank you for your blog, I really like what you had to say.
    I am thinking of preparing a message based on Ruth and was also thinking of referring to Romans 8. Your comment that God can bring good out of bad circumstances if we allow him to- really resonates with me and has helped to crystallise my thinking. I’m no theologian, but I appreciate your sharing your thoughts.

  40. when u put all ur thrust to God nd u dnt wnt to tell anyone of the situation nd keep prayin nd hopin is it a sin

  41. I found this thread by asking Gd to destroy this world right now in google’s search engine, and I have my health and youth. I believe my suffering (the inability to want or enjoy anything this world has to offer) has brought me to this thread. C.S. Lewis, a scholar of the bible, once wrote we would not know good without evil. It is my understanding that the more you suffer in this world, the better your afterlife will be. You will be able to experience every joy you’ve ever wanted to experience after death, so long as you death isn’t in vain. Please keep living with every fiber of your body for me. I need every one who reads this to keep living, for those who refuse to and cut their life short are taking the easy way out. Life exists so we can enjoy death.

  42. Meditate on this: the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care.

  43. Although you make some interesting points, I have to disagree with you. Ecclesiastes 3:1-7 specifically states that “everything that happens in this world, happens at the time God chooses.” God can cause bad things to happen to us, He flooded the earth thousands of years ago and the flood killed lots of people, and there was a REASON behind that. We each have a specific book of our life written for us, everything that will happen to us, the heartbreak, the sickness, the happiness, God already knows about. He already know what is going to happen to us, and if there wasn’t a reason behind that, don’t you think He would rewrite our stories? I agree that if we allow God to intervene with our troubles, He will make all things good, but I feel like some of your points contradict themselves.
    I’m writing an essay on this topic for my english class, I enjoyed reading about your opinion, however I have to disagree with you.

    • Hi Kalei, I appreciate your reply. Ecclesiastes 3:1 can be interpreted in several ways. You can see multiple translations here: http://biblehub.com/ecclesiastes/3-1.htm

      You’ve quoted the Good News Translation which indicates God chooses the timing of everything but other translations like the NIV do not say it that way, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

      My question for you… if EVERYTHING that happens in this world, happens at the time God chooses then what does that mean we have no free will? Does that mean God forces our every action, including the evil we do?

      I don’t think so. That contradicts lots of other bible verses, so I think we have to conclude the Good News Translation of that verse is inaccurate. There are others who dispute the accuracy of other parts of that translation – http://www.gotquestions.org/Good-News-Bible-GNB.html

  44. There is a story called..”Footprints in the Sand”. Please Google and read it.

    I think when you embrace change and start listening to the voice of the outer world…Illusion (Maya) and then also get aware about the inner world, the voice within – life starts becoming different as start seeing things from a different perspective.

    A man once climbed on his roof when the floods came and said that he was going to sit there and watch if God comes to his rescue. Hours were passing by and his wife came and shouted at him that the water level was rising and that the house with him on the rooftop would soon be immersed in water. He would not listen but said will wait for God. The wife left and sometime later the neighbor came when he saw this man on his roof top. He too requested the man to come with him on his Canoe but in vain. His neighbor went ahed and left but informed the city rescuers who informed the military and they came in about a few minutes in a helicopter, when the house was almost under water and the man was sure to get drowned. However the man refused and said that he would wait for HIM. Finally the house got submerged in water and the man who didn’t know how to swim, drowned. On reaching St.Peter’s he was welcomed but he only was angry with Him and questioned why no Angel came to help him when he was about to die. God tells him that WHY he came THREE times – wife, neighbour and helicopter!!! But all the three times he didn’t realize that it was HE, Himself in disguise. I am beginning to realize that each and every moment every second, we are tested to see how we fare…and there is Him in EVERY human you come in touch with. However, we are bitter, negative, unthankful and have agendas behind every thought we have. I think God is all around us in the form of all living beings, including animals. We fail to acknowledge….wife, neighbour, child,parents, teachers, colleagues, people in grocery stores and on the road driving…all!!!! each of us have to wake up inwards to register what thought process we live our lives with….if we live ALL THE TIME with GOOD intent…really pure and then we still go through tragedies and sadness, no matter how serious, then, that is it…it is meant to be. you must have faltered somewhere in life to have got what you deserved…..Bharat

  45. And…just to add to my previous comment that tragedies, failure, rejection and being ridiculed has been a very integral part of my life. Either I could give life those names, above or just say this was my Karma and experience. This has been my life. Period. I failed miserably in school and university, got kicked out of jobs 7 times, father died of cancer, mother died of alziemers, nephew (sister’s son) had a paralytic stroke at the tender age of three, saw 8 deaths in one year (including my wife’s cousin whom I loved so much)wife met with a serious accident when 6 months pregnant…..both survived by the GRACE OF GOD!!! what more can I say, that ahead what lies of me…..I wish this was a utopian world. I don’t think there are reasons for what, may I say, I (ME) went through…this is it. The above Divine experiences – tragedies/negative – call them what you may were what was gifted to me!!!! If, there is a Power, I never ask Him for anything, really nothing. Just thankfulness for what I went through. Life is blessed and we are on bonus, if I am able to write this here. Someone asked a learned man, what was the definition of a miracle was and the man replied, “That you can ask me this question is itself the biggest miracle you are going through right now because millions of people in this world do not even have that blessing”! God Bless YOU ALL!! Bharat

  46. Many people say that God is ALL love, God is all-good, God has no evil, etc. In the article you mention, “God is all-good. He is not capable of perpetrating evil. He is also all-powerful and has the capacity to intervene in world events when he wants to. But he often he chooses not to leaving us to deal with the natural consequences of our actions both good and bad.”

    I have found numerous accounts in the Bible that God is also jealous, angry, punishing, has wrath, etc. Not to mention he “created” Lucifer and unless you can convince me that God couldn’t read the future then I have to believe that he knew Lucifer would become Satan. God even unleashed Satan on Job. Did he return Job to favor, yes. But after he suffered great loss. The point is that I’ve studied the Bible for years and grew up in the Church and I believe that God has anger, love and even hates. The Bible points out that in Proverbs that there are 6 things the Lord hates… Anyway, at the very least God is responsible for the evil in the world and the suffering. He created it. The potter and the clay is a great example. If God is all love then why did he flood the world at one point, killing numerous families? Because they sinned? Who created them with the ability to sin? If you say they were influenced by Satan then who created Satan. We wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for God. I find it hard to believe that God is going to send us to hell for eternity for our sinful ways when he made us. Then again, He slaughtered people for disobedience in the Old Testament so I guess we never know. I guess our only hope is that his son dying for us covers all those sins. It is also strange that “His Son” is actually Him.

    • Hi Eric, thanks for sharing your perspective. You are right that the Bible says God does get angry and there are a some things he hates, specifically sin, like lying, murder, etc – because it harms others.

      Imagine for a moment someone you love was murdered. Would you want the police to be indifferent about it? Would you want the judge to say, “Eh, whatever” and let the guy go? Or would you think that’s unjust? I think we (and God) should hate evil (the act not the person doing it) and be righteously angry about it.

      As for all the evil in the world… God gives us all free will to do good or evil. Would you want to live in a world where you were forced to do good or would you rather have a choice? Is love really be love if its required? Or can love really only exist when we’re given a choice to not love?

  47. Paul, I totally agree with you that “God is all-good..and not capable of perpetrating evil.” I would further argue that God does not even allow evil. Please consider

    “God does not create, commit, or allow evil!”

    at http://www.evangelicaluniversalist.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=7122


    • Hi Hermano, thanks for your comment. I read the page you linked to. You do believe evil exists, right? If so, if God is all-powerful, how can evil exist if God doesn’t allow it?

  48. Wow. How wonderful it is to see someone not only feel exactly the same about something no one else seems to even understand why it matters, much less contemplate the significance of not agreeing with it, but actually put the disagreement and principles to support the conflict in words posted on a venue for all to see. BRAVO! Should you have any previous works or should write any in the future about the quote that follows this sentence, I would very much appreciate the opportunity to look it up if you could send me a reference to it, thanks again for your insight, which reflects a genuine dedication to truth. “Whatever you’re going through, you asked for it. It is exactly what you wanted so stop whining about it. You did this to yourself, because it is what you felt you deserved.” (There are many versions of the thing, which is essentially ‘There are no victims’ mentality. Which is NOT true.)

    • Hi Jeannie, thanks for your comment. I appreciate your pursuit of the truth rather than just accepting cliches.

      >>“Whatever you’re going through, you asked for it. It is exactly what you wanted so stop whining about it. You did this to yourself, because it is what you felt you deserved.”

      I can’t say I agree with this statement, though. Sure, sometime we do cause our own problems. But what about someone who gets cancer? Or someone who is hurt by another person? I don’t think they are getting what they asked for or what they deserve, do you?

      To tie it back in with the original article, though, that doesn’t necessarily mean “it happened for a reason” or God caused it.

  49. As omniscient and omnipresent, God is. God does not rest in time, time rests in God. He exists in the eternal present. He is aware of (our) past, present and future in the eternal now. He is outside of our concept of time. He sees all human history and the future at one moment. For this reason, He knows who will and who will not cooperate with His grace and, therefore, knows who will persevere in Him until the end. That is pre-destination. Not that God “chooses” a pre-destined few, more like he already knows who will cooperate and receive Him and persevere to the end. Does that mean he creates hardships for those who do not persevere? I don’t think so. But I do believe that when we turn away from God, he steps back from us. He doesn’t turn his back on us but in the way a parent might permit their child to touch a thorn even when they have warned their child not to do so and the parent knows the child will be hurt and will cry, the parent still permits it because he realizes his child needs to learn the greater good of the experience and that we should not touch thorns. As a parent we stand by, watch with anguish and are there with warm arms and kisses when the child turns back to us in sorrow. I don’t believe that all things happen for a reason, though God is there always, waiting for us to turn back to Him and offering us His love, grace and the other tools necessary to persevere the hardships of life. If we do not respond to Him, we continue touching thorns and harming ourselves and blaming God for putting those thorns there in the first place. But just because they are there, it doesn’t mean we have to touch them. That is free will!

    This world was created as a living environment, forever self-sustaining and re-generating. This living environment can produce some serious natural disasters, whether it is an earthquake or cancer. The creatures that God created can produce some serious non-natural disasters like war. God, an all-loving and all-good God, did not create evil. He created creatures with free will who themselves created evil. Those creatures created by God include angels who also have free-will and as we know, Satan, and some other angels rejected the all-good God and now wreak havoc among all of God’s creation.

    It deeply saddens me when people experience hardship and pain and loss as we experienced in my own family, too. I feel that pain. Don’t give up hope. He is there for you, calling you and wanting to comfort you. The thorny branches that we allow to crowd out our little mustard seed need to be cleared out. Submit to God, follow Him in heart AND deed and ask him to carry your burdens. Let go of the anger and pain of this world because it is not a badge of honor, it is a suit of armor perpetually keeping you under water and drowning you which is exactly where Satan wants you. God will clear out your garden and let that mustard seed grow and blossom and Satan will have no power over you.

  50. Definitely an interesting topic.

    It reminds me of an article I recently read about Molinism vs Calvanism: http://www.reasonablefaith.org/molinism-vs-calvinism

    Molinism’s accounting for God’s “middle knowledge allows God to intend or bring about all things without taking away genuine free-will of humanity. By His Omniscience including the knowledge of all the results of the what-ifs, He is able to craft circumstances where He knows what we will freely choose. This means He is not the author of Evil, but can craft a world with the least amount of evil in it which accommodates our free will.

    So, while it is certainly right to say that “This is tough, but God is powerful and loving enough to use even these circumstances…” We can also say that God is in control and has allowed this for His perfect plan.

    It also rightly interprets Romans 8:28’s “those who love Him” to be the Church in general, and not only us as individuals.

    “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33b NIV.

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